Ep #9: Growing Pains and Not Growing Feel Good

They are called growing pains for a reason. In this episode, we will explore how in life we go through many different experiences/ lessons that can cause us to feel pain, fear and many other emotions. Almost everyone wants to avoid these growing pains, but ultimately the growing pains must be experienced to help you grow from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. We will help you to see the bigger plan playing out in your life, and how to feel secure within that experience, regardless of how bad the experience might feel in each moment.


Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

Ep #0: Get To Know Us

Ep #5: Why Motivation Sucks

Ep #8: Why Homeschooling?


Transcript: (Read Time: 30 min)

Siri Shakti: Welcome to the RockStar in Life Podcast, where you learn the secrets to unleashing your inner RockStar so you can make the world your stage.

Dr. Dan: Hey fellowRockStars, Dr. Dan here and I've got my lovely co-host.

Siri Shakti: Siri Shakti.

Dr. Dan: That's right, we are here for another episode and this episode we are calling Growing Pains, not growing feel good, and what that means is I mean think about it, growing is hard. I mean that's why they call them growing pains. I always tell my kids this, “Hey kids, I know growing’s hard. That's why we call them growing pains and not growing feel good or pleasure.” Originally I was going to call this Growing Pains Not Growing Pleasure but that sounds a little too adult. We might get flagged as like explicit or something like that by iTunes and people will take it the wrong way.

Siri Shakti: Nice, yeah. We'll go with this one instead.

Dr. Dan: Awesome. All right, so what are we going to talk about in today's episode?

Siri Shakti: When we talk about growing pains versus growing feel good pains, of course we all want to feel good all the time in our lives, but that's just not how human existence is. That's not how life works, and really what it boils down to when I was sitting down thinking about how I wanted to discuss this topic. For me it really comes down to trust. Now when I'm referring to trust, it's trust in a very specific way. It's trusting that your life has a bigger picture. That when you're in the middle of something because the thing is, is that in your life you're going to go through all sorts of experiences. You're going to go through times that are great, where you feel like euphoric, everything's flowing. Then you're going to go through times where you're feeling challenged and just like nothing's going right.

That's just how life is. Well what happens is often times we like to stand back and we take a still picture of what's happening in our life and that's one of the things that Yogi Bhajan would always say. He said, “Do not take still pictures in your life,” because when we're going through a challenge or an experience or a different phase in life which we’ll go through many and many over and over again. When we're going through the day to day experience of going through that, often times we can feel challenged, we can feel even like scared or oftentimes like is this going to last forever. If you take a still picture during one of those high emotional times, especially when you're feeling like this is going to last forever, I can't see a way out of this, then that’s going to just increase that feeling of it's not going to work its way out.

Dr. Dan: No, I like that and I've never looked at it like a still picture or anything like that, and you've heard me say many times it's more like a movie, like imagine you're watching a movie and if you're in the movie, I mean you're in a movie and like those scary movies. You’re in a scary movie and the person says, “Oh I'll be right back, let me go check out that noise. I'll go see what that is and then everybody watching the movie is like, “Don't go in there, don't go in that room,” because they're going to get killed.”

But everybody watching the movie kind of … they know what's going to happen but the person in the movie is kind of like, they're in it. Because they don't know, they don't see it but we're outside or viewing in. I always say relate your life like that when you feel like something's a challenge and you're having a tough time through something. Try and take a step back and sometimes it's not going to be … I know for you personally, we can talk about this.

I know for you personally when I would say that years ago, years ago, it wouldn’t take like a couple of minutes or a couple of hours for you to be able to step back. It would take you few days sometimes for you to be able to finally step back and be like, “Oh,” and then come back to me and be like, “Yeah, yeah. I get it now.” I’m like, “Whoa, it took how many days?” But it happens, right?

Siri Shakti: That is so true.

Dr. Dan: But now you're a lot faster. I mean now you'll like come back or text me or something and be like, “All right, I feel better now.” It’s like a couple of minutes or half hour or something like that but man.

Siri Shakti: Hallelujah.

Dr. Dan: We've had some slamming doors and-

Siri Shakti: Gosh yes, yes. How many of us have gone through experiences where it felt like you couldn't see the way through it but eventually you made it out of it. Then you think to yourself, if I could have talked to my past self, I would have told myself not to worry, to chill out because after going through it, then you're able to look back and see the bigger picture at play here. That's what I'm talking about, that in our lives we have to go through lessons. We have to go through experiences because ultimately we’re meant to pass through these experiences and learn from them.

Like you were saying Dan when we're going through something that feels challenging, what you want to start to do is to consciously be able to remove yourself from the emotional upheaval of the experience and take that step back and be able to try to see okay and trust that there is this bigger picture at play. One thing that just came to me is included in the yoga we talk about that there's different laws. We've now over the past few years, we've entered into what is called the Aquarian Age and we just came out of what was called the Piscean Age. Part of the Aquarian Age is there's different laws for the Aquarian Age. One of them is that there is a way through every obstacle.

You can just feel so safe and uplifted by that and I think about that myself especially when I'm going through something really challenging. I always go back to this and then trust that you know what, there's going to be a way through this. I just have to work on it a little bit and I'll be able to find it.

Dr. Dan: Well that reminds me of something we used to always say and we still say it today everything happens for a reason and purpose and it serves you, so you can grow from it. I just want to mention one other thing that I thought of when you were saying that was that you had to go through what you went through. It's not like you could talk to your past self. If you can go into a time machine or into your subconscious of the past and say to yourself, “Hey, you should do this a little faster because you're going to get there anyways.” That past self wasn't ready for it. You can't short cut it, so it's not like you can go like … I mean you could still say to yourself today like, “Oh man, how much time did I waste or I can't believe it took me this long. I wish it was faster,” but it took as long as it needed to because there was no short cutting that. So you had to go through what you had to go through to get where you are today.

Siri Shakti: Yes, yes. I mean I think you and I are on the same page with this. I personally believe that before we come into this life, that we have an awareness of what it is that we need to master. In a sense we sign up to have to pass through these types of obstacles and challenges in order to master these things.

Dr. Dan: It’s like I playing a video game, choose your adventure.

Siri Shakti: Heck yeah. Nice. Yeah and the other one too when it comes to like referencing laws, is there are laws of the universe. There are certain laws that our universe does follow and the universe has a balance to it, and one of the things I love, I actually have it up on my Bolton board is that there is a solution to every problem which obviously coincides with the other one I said; there's a way through every obstacle. There is no such thing as having a problem that does not also have a solution. There has to be that equality, that balance there.

Dr. Dan: Yeah I like that. I've always referred to them as guidelines because laws are … they're strict. They’re like this is how it is but so many things have been proven to be more flexible and that's why I like to say guidelines because they’re laws because we don't understand anything past that. But there are so many things that we have not unlocked today in this world that at some point is probably … I mean more than likely going to be proven like, “Actually you're wrong on that.” I mean just like the universe, like I struggle to say the word universe even though it sounds better, but I always correct myself or add the multi-verse because universe is just one. We have more than one universe. It’s a multi-verse out there.

Siri Shakti: Yes, but with that said, I personally believe that this is a truth that-

Dr. Dan: A truth, that’s funny.

Siri Shakti: That there is a solution to every problem, and I'm going with that.

Dr. Dan: I didn't challenge you on that. I don't believe they’re laws, they’re guidelines.

Siri Shakti: There we go, okay.

Dr. Dan: I mean heck, you've got people that can do all kinds of crazy stuff that people don't understand.

Siri Shakti: That is correct yes, yes like telepathy. That's one of them.

Dr. Dan: Exactly.

Siri Shakti: We’ve had so many experience in our life and I want to get into some examples of our personal experiences but before we do that, I know when we were discussing how we wanted to discuss this, there are some beautiful examples. Like you and I love the example of like a butterfly and their life cycles and my personal favorite is the frog. Do you want to kind of give us a little bit of scientific knowledge on the frog and how it relates to this?

Dr. Dan: Yeah I'll break it down stupid simple for those that don't know. But a caterpillar, it starts out as a … what does it start out, as a larvae I think? Because a butterfly I believe they like lay eggs or what they call larvae something on a plant and then that it turns into the Caterpillar and then the caterpillar goes into a cocoon. Where it actually eats and it becomes into a cocoon which they call chrysalis. But imagine if you were that Caterpillar and you end up in this cocoon. I’ll just call it a cocoon because it sounds better. Imagine if you right now, all of a sudden maybe without warning ended up in this clear kind of tube that you couldn't really see through and you're inside there and all of a sudden it starts filling up with liquid.

You know you can't breathe the liquid. Then all of a sudden this liquid’s filling up, it's going in your lungs and then it's all around you. Now imagine you got to be in there for 15 days. Who knows what’s going on inside there? I’ve had people say, “It liquefies your entire body and reconstructs and does all this and then you turn into butterfly,” but do you think that caterpillars knows, “Hey, it’s time for me to go to my cocoon so I can turn into a butterfly.” Maybe in cartoons but I doubt it. I bet it doesn’t know what it’s doing. It probably things it’s dying. I would think I’m dying.

I think that’s a beautiful example of the challenges that we go through in life. When you have a challenge like you can’t make your mortgage or your kids talk back to you or you’re a little over weight and you need to lose weight, and it’s a struggle or anything like that. Or you get laid off from your job. Whatever it is for you, you’re having challenges in your marriage or money problems or anything like that, just remember you’re not a caterpillar sitting in a cocoon about to die for 15 days.
Yeah, you can overcome that. You grow stronger. You become this beautiful butterfly.

Siri Shakti: That’s right. Yeah, and you think about that, that is in a sense what humans do experience. When we go through these types of lessons in our lives, there is times where we’re going to feel … I mean here I’m talking a lot about the challenge side of it. Of course not all it is challenging. But at those points where you’re feeling scared, fearful, even terror even, it is just like that experience of the butterfly, because that butterfly had that sensation of death, of losing itself.

Then it emerged as something as it’s true self. As this gorgeous butterfly and that’s exactly what’s happening to you as you pull back the layers, you’re emerging stronger and more beautiful.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, I also love the story of the frog as well. So I couldn’t pick between the two.

Siri Shakti: We’ll use them both.

Dr. Dan: From a tadpole to a frog, that’s pretty amazing as well because a tadpole hatches out of eggs laid by the frog. A few days later the external gills suddenly appear after they’ve hatched. So the gills suddenly appear out of nowhere. The tail starts to elongate, then the fin develops. So it’s start to develop fins. A few weeks later, the gills also disappear. So you’ve got gills, now your gills are gone. Your hind limbs develop and grow. The tadpole develops into what they call a frog-let. It develops four limbs.

Siri Shakti: That’s cute, frog-let.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, then develops lungs for breathing, and mind you, they’re under water this whole time. Tail becomes smaller and then disappears and now the frog enters into adult age. So now the frog has these lungs while it’s been under water its entire life. Now it’s got to do something it’s never done which is walk out of the water and it’s got to take a breath outside the water, something that’s it’s never done in its entire life. It just has to trust. It has to trust … the same thing with the caterpillar. The caterpillar just has to trust, “Oh, I need to go in this cocoon and I’m going to come out.”

Siri Shakti: Yeah.

Dr. Dan: Now I can fly. Something that it had never been able to do; fly, breathe, all that. That’s insane.

Siri Shakti: And there was no way of avoiding it. There was no way of getting around it. It had to go through that.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, I can’t go back in time, be like, “Oh, if I just knew this, then I could change that and then this wouldn’t have happened, but no, not at all.”

Siri Shakti: Yeah, and oh boy, actually just brings a good point. The whole avoidance thing is that’s one thing that I see as a little different from humans compared to like our example of the butterfly or the frog because humans often times when we’re going through this experiences, we try to avoid the experience by numbing ourselves or avoiding the pain of having to pass through the challenge, and going through the growing pains, right?

Dr. Dan: Yeah.

Siri Shakti: Whereas as a frog and a caterpillar, they don’t have that choice like humans do. So we can learn from these two examples that we’ve given you, that when you’re going through the growing pains to embrace the experience regardless of any emotional sensation you’re having, and allow yourself to move through it.

Dr. Dan: And we’re not saying to blindly move through things and just trust. You don’t go walking with your eyes closed across the street, there’s an intersection-

Siri Shakti: No, eyes wide open.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, your eyes are wide open and you listen to your fear in a way. We’ve talked about that, where you listen to your fear because it’s there to serve you. So you don’t fall over a cliff or hit by a car. So you need to take everything in. You don’t let your fear rule you, but you use it as a tool and the same thing goes here.

Siri Shakti: Just like I was telling our daughter today is that fear is actually a messenger. Most of us just live like we just stay in it. We’re not getting the message but your fear is there for a reason. It’s trying to get your attention and give you a message. So get the message but don’t just stay there. Get the message and then use that message to keep growing.

Dr. Dan: Well, it’s just like if your car is dinging and saying, and the little light goes on saying you need gas. You don’t pullover and start crying and go, “Why, why, why?” No, it’s a tool. It’s telling you, “Oh hey, you need more gas so that way you don’t run out of gas and have to walk.”

Siri Shakti: Yes, exactly. I mean gosh, we have experienced so many things like this. I mean one of the big things that came to mind was our own marriage. There’s been times where we went through some major growing pains.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, of course. They don’t teach us, they don’t teach us in the movies, like if you watch any movies that have like-

Siri Shakti: A fairy-tale one?

Dr. Dan: Yeah, like a fairy-tale or something like that-

Siri Shakti: Like Cinderella.

Dr. Dan: Any love story even as well. In the movie what happens? They usually like meet, they get to know each other, then some kind of challenge comes across. In the fairy tales obviously it’s like a dragon or something happens or they’re kidnapped or something like that.

Siri Shakti: Or the fairy-god-mother comes and-

Dr. Dan: Yeah, exactly. Then the prince or whoever rescues them. It’s the same thing with movies as well. Where instead of a dragon, it’s some kind of a challenge, they get lied to or something like that or they have a hard time trusting. Or the other person cheats, or something happens and then they end up back together. In most movies at the end they live happily ever after.

Siri Shakti: Yes.

Dr. Dan: But unfortunately that’s not the way life is. They don’t talk about that, but that is in real life the challenges come over and over again. You become stronger. You become better, and you start to evolve. Just like we talked about with the tadpole becoming the frog and the caterpillar into the butterfly. You can’t grow those wings and fly, truly fly until you can … it’s like you’re constantly evolving. So instead of in 15 days you turn into a butterfly, that 15 days is really stretched out for us to become that butterfly over a hundred years because we’re all planning to live to over 150 years.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, I am.

Dr. Dan: Over the course of 150 years.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, and in reference to our relationship, I know early on when it was still a younger relationship, the growing pains that we went through at that time we didn’t have a stronger of like a foundation-

Dr. Dan: We had no guidance. We didn’t have manual. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. We didn’t know there was something out there. Unfortunately for you guys listening, guys and girls listening, you do. You have us.

Siri Shakti: That’s right.

Dr. Dan: We’re here to guide you.

Siri Shakti: Aren’t you lucky?

Dr. Dan: To guide you through the dark. Through the darkness.

Siri Shakti: Yes, yes and when we went through some of our greatest challenges and we decided we’re sticking it out together, ultimately it ended up changing our relationship for the better. Our relationship actually took on a whole different type of relationship.

Dr. Dan: That’s the name of our next book, Sticking It Out-

Siri Shakti: Sticking It Out.

Dr. Dan: Together.

Siri Shakti: Well that doesn’t sound very romantic, but you know what I’m saying.

Dr. Dan: I know you’re the one that said it.

Siri Shakti: No, no I’m saying because earlier on when you’re going through your challenges you don’t have that foundation, you doubt is this going to work, and I think every relationship goes through that.

Dr. Dan: Yep, so you stay committed.

Siri Shakti: You stay committed, and what my point was, is that our marriage ended up becoming like a whole different entity, and now we know, we’re totally solid and we’re together forever. I know it sounds funny saying that but together forever.

Dr. Dan: Together forever.

Siri Shakti: You know what I’m saying.

Dr. Dan: I’m sure there’s several songs that we might have gave. Reminds me of like an ‘80s movie or something. Together Forever. Well, not a movie, but the TV show.

Siri Shakti: Like that vow, till death do us part, right?

Dr. Dan: Yeah, exactly.

Siri Shakti: All right moving on.

Dr. Dan: Exactly.

Siri Shakti: So in talking about foundation, there was one example that I came up with that I really wanted to share with all of you. I just have such a connection. This is that beautiful hippie part of me. Actually I didn’t want to call it hippie, I just love nature, but I have always loved and felt really connected to trees. Like I just … I even love doing like meditations where you imagine-

Dr. Dan: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

Siri Shakti: I don't know, it's hard to pick. Yeah, but I think we can learn a lot from trees and in reference to our theme for this topic in trusting and staying really grounded in going through your experience, a tree doesn't fear. It doesn't fear the wind blowing them from side to side or storms that are going to be pushing them in every direction. No, instead they've actually learned to dance in the storm and they do it with grace. And a tree, its branches they sway from side to side and they're not fearful of what circumstances are going to happen with the weather, they just have learned to move with it.
And yes their branches are moving, their leaves are moving and flowing, but their roots and their trunk are always staying totally grounded and totally rooted. And that is an example … another example that you can use when you're going through an experience that you ground yourself. Because oftentimes when we're going through a challenge, we can feel like we're kind of being pushed in every direction and we're just being like you know thrown around by our emotions. But within that, you can imagine that you're actually having the experience of being grounded and rooted.

For those of you that like visualizations, I like to even go outside, put my feet on the ground and imagine that I have roots coming out of my feet. And that physically changes the sensation in my body and ultimately changes the sensations in my emotions. I feel a lot safer, I feel a lot stronger in being able to overcome what it is that I'm going through.

Dr. Dan: Exactly. Well, it kind of reminds me … I was trying to look it up real quick so I didn't sound … so I didn't say the wrong thing, but coconut trees … They’re coconut trees not palm trees, right? The ones that are on the tropic islands and they're all sideways. I'm pretty sure those are coconut trees.

Siri Shakti: I think it's coconut, and now I'm wondering as well.

Dr. Dan: I mean I don’t know.

Siri Shakti: think it is.

Dr. Dan: They kind of look similar, but I remember a lot of coconut trees, so I would go with that because like we're in Fiji, there's tons of coconut trees and they're all like angled to the side. A lot of them are, because like you said, they're flexible. They've had to evolve to become flexible because of where they are, their environment.

Siri Shakti: That's right.

Dr. Dan: So much stress on them that they flex left and right and back and forth. And then to the point to where they're like, “Okay, well, instead of breaking, I'm just going to start growing … or not growing, but start leaning to this angle so I don't have to resist this.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, I remember us talking about that when we were in Fiji with Tony Robbins how we were talking about all the trees tilted to the side and they were talking about that because over thousands of years, they've evolved that way because of dealing with the hurricanes. And that's why they don't fall over in the hurricane winds, because they-

Dr. Dan: I think I'm the one that made that up and then he took it from me, just so you know.

Siri Shakti: That must be-

Dr. Dan: I just said that.

Siri Shakti: You must have … you wrote it.

Dr. Dan: I did. Well, I said it first, that's what matters.

Siri Shakti: No, I'm not saying he said, I meant we were all discussing that.

Dr. Dan: Exactly, awesome. Well, I mean this goes not just for personal life. I mean, we gave examples on the last episode where we talked about homeschooling, about our daughter Killeen and you were worried about that and she grew stronger from it, you grew stronger from it, you learned from it as well.

Siri Shakti: Amen.

Dr. Dan: I mean there's also business examples that I've kind of mentioned on other episodes as well in where I’d had a personal training business, we were in a multi-level marketing business as well and also I was in the real estate business as well. And every one of those, I evolved from and I became stronger. Some of them … like I remember the personal training business, I wasn't making enough money, but I loved what I was doing but I just wasn't making enough money even though I could charge more, but there was so much more involved, so the money ended up averaging out to not that very much. RI remember that’s the first time I got my car repossessed. So that wasn’t fun, I wasn’t making enough money.
So yeah, so I grew strong from that. I learned you know what, I’m not going to do that again, I'm going to become an entrepreneur is what I said. And at the time I also had my own personal training business as well, but again, not making enough money to really get to where I knew I wanted to be and have the lifestyle that I wanted. So then we got into the multi-level marketing business and you know … because I'd never heard of that before at all, never.

I was just like, “Whoa, this is it.” I've always wanted to work out of a Starbucks … Actually I said out of a coffee shop and have a briefcase, a silver briefcase and have a laptop and a cell phone and just be working wherever I want to work. And what's crazy and the reason why I said not Starbucks is because back then there was no Starbucks in northern California, at least not around us. And our dream, pretty much or my dream pretty much came true where in that business, I was able to run that business like that.

Now that company actually disappeared, they went bankrupt. We were with them for a couple years, but I learned so much because of it. I had already learned some sales strategies from when I was working at the gym, and I also did some selling memberships, personal training and stuff like that. I also learned how to train people and that was fun, leadership skills as well and how to motivate people and that was awesome.

And actually I … I don’t even know if I mentioned this before, but remember I used to have a pacifier around my neck and around those whistle lanyard things, and any time like somebody would do their exercise … like they were like … I had those I was like, “Five more sets” or “Five more reps, five more reps. You can do, you can do it.” They’re like, “I can’t.” “Do you want the pacifier?”

Siri Shakti: I remember.

Dr. Dan: No one was like … It was primetime at the gym, it was packed full and people would just like look in and stuff like, “Whoa.” And I was this 250 pound body building dude just going, “You want the pacifier?”And it was fun, and they loved it. And yeah, so the same thing … So from that I learned how to motivate people and how to scare people in a good way. And then you know with the MLM company, the multilevel marketing company, and I learned how to do trainings and teleseminars actually as well, because that was really big at that time.

Webinars wasn’t really started yet. They kind of did, but it wasn’t really refined. You had to like join a webinar, you had to like log in and you could view somebody’s computer but you still had to call in on a phone and they had to still call in or something like that, it was like … It was very complicated process and it was expensive, so we didn't even bother. So mostly teleseminars we were on the phone and they're just listening to you and we're doing trainings and all kinds of cool stuff like that. So learned some really good stuff, got … It was the first time I spoke on stage, I was frightened to death to speak on stage my entire life. And I had mentioned before, if the teacher even said, “You have to do a book report,” I’d said, “Give me the F” and I just not show up for it. It wouldn't bring that. I didn't do it and they'd like look at me like, “Oh, you’re a problem child.” No, I was just scared, “I don't want to do it.”

And you know, if it wasn't for all those things that I went through, if it wasn't for … and I started to learn internet marketing from doing the MLM because I created a website and some … we call street cred today where they can find information about you and stuff like that, but it wasn't until the real estate business that I started really learning all my marketing, and I was doing that and generating leads and I generated all my business from that.

I started with nothing, I knew nothing about the industry and I just started getting leads online. I was like, “Well, this is amazing.” That actually is what catapulted me into what we do today, as part of it. I mean there's more and we go into that another time but, if it wasn't for all those things that I went through, then I wouldn't have my wings today. Yeah, my wings are still developing and I haven't stopped growing yet and I'm not going to.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, and that's really what we call the bigger picture, that during this whole … all those years of that experience, now you can look back and say, “You see, look at this bigger picture that was at play,” and you see all the building blocks of how they all like one brought you to this, which brought you to this, which brought you to where you are right now.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, and I was in a cocoon every one of those times. It felt like that I was suffocating. It felt like I was in this cocoon and I couldn't breathe anymore because I had to go through that development.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, when you were talking about this, the biggest one that came up for me was when … You know how we talked about in another one of our episodes when the market crashed. You know, at that time when the market crashed, that was really scary.

Dr. Dan: Like 2007.

Siri Shakti: 2007 and we tried to hold on for as long as we could and we ended up losing our home. When that happened, at that time, that was scary. And I wasn’t really seeing the bigger picture at that time, I’m going to admit that. I was really scared. But what that led to was this beautiful experience. We left this big home, we moved into this small apartment, we sold so many of our things-

Dr. Dan: That was like a two bedroom apartment that was like I mean, I have to look at the square footage, but it was under 1,000.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, it was under 1,000.

Dr. Dan: 7 or 800 or something.

Siri Shakti: And we had our three children, when our son had just been born, he was a new born, but I will tell you what, during that experience, you know at the time when had to move out of our big, beautiful home, I thought, “This awful. This is like the worst thing that could be happening.” I dreaded having to move into this small place. Once we were there and moved in, I will never forget those two years that we lived in that apartment, because it was a transformation for our family.

I really felt like we got back to basics, we got back to what was important, we reevaluated our lives and our goals. It was just a more kind of simple living and not only that, but that was when you started to design the business that you have now and that was you blossoming and launching ultimately what was going to turn into this business.

Dr. Dan: We shared it a lot.

Siri Shakti: Oh yeah.

Dr. Dan: Which we needed to anyway, so that way like you said, we can get back to basics.

Siri Shakti: Yes.

Dr. Dan: Yeah, less destructions and just focus in … And I still feel like I am still like that. I know like the kids are constantly saying, “Let’s get a Tesla, let’s get you know, Lamborghini, let’s get all these things. And why don’t we get this, why don’t we get that?” I’m like, “No.” Because I’m focused in on what I want to get accomplished and do. I mean, we got a big, beautiful house and that is great.

Siri Shakti: Yeah, but we don’t live like lavishly.

Dr. Dan: No, because I’m zeroed in and focusing on the next step right?

Siri Shakti: Yeah. So you mean no Lamborghini right now?

Dr. Dan: No, no. You know what happened –

Siri Shakti: I don’t want a Lamborghini.

Dr. Dan: And I know you remember me talking about this, but I remember this is like I don’t know, 2006 or something when we kind of hit it big at that time, we were like … it was like 2005, 2006 and I was like, “Oh, wow,” and we were looking likeRockStars. We were buying stuff left to right, had all these diamond watches and everything.

Siri Shakti: Gorgeous.

Dr. Dan: And man it fell like with all these cars and motorcycle and all these things and multiple houses we had and stuff, it felt more like they controlled me more than I had these things and nobody really ever talks about that, but it just … it felt like so much work. It felt like a full time job just to maintain what we had. And I was just like, “Man, I really just need to shed myself of a lot of these and just focusing on what I want to accomplish in life.” Instead of getting distracted, because I remember one of my mentors had told me years ago when I was like, “It must be nice when you’re making this kind of money, have these awesome exotic cars and stuff,” and he turned around and looked at me and he said, “You know what I call those things?” And I go, “What?” and he goes, “Things.”

They’re just things. I mean once you get there and you start accumulating the stuff, it just feels like stuff. You’re not going to sit there and be like, “I’ve arrived, I’ve got all these amazing stuff.” That’s why you’ll see a lot of people out there that have accomplished success and then they turn around and they want to teach other people. And a lot of people are looking at them like they’re some you know like … I don’t know a word I can say here, but some kind of scam artist or just like trying to trick people and they only make money because they sell their courses on how to get rich and stuff like that. And yeah, in some cases that can be true, but a lot of successful people out there have the feeling or the calling to help others right?

Siri Shakti: Yes.

Dr. Dan: And that’s why they want to do it, and of course they want to make money doing it as well, but there’s other things they can do to make money, but they feel that calling. It’s important for them to be able to help others because I’ll tell you, it just feels amazing when you can help somebody else overcome something. And you know this, I mean when I’m like at a grocery store or at a video store, video store but … I was thinking of like let’s say like Best Buy or something, I mean how many times have we been somewhere and somebody will just start talking to me or a Home Depot or something, and somebody will just start talking to me. And then it goes from, “Do you know where the sand bags are or the wood is or this or that,” to, “Really?” And, “Yeah,” and they start talking about different things, like their relationships or –

Siri Shakti: Yap life and…

Dr. Dan: Business or things that they’re interested in and it’s like its crazy, it’s awesome. I love it.

Siri Shakti: That tends to happen a lot to you actually.

Dr. Dan: I know. In the past you used to just like look at me and be like, “Come on, we got to go,” or you’d like walk away.

Siri Shakti: For … I’ll never forget, I was in labor with our second daughter –

Dr. Dan: Yeah Millena.

Siri Shakti: And I’m like almost ready to give birth and the nurses were so intrigued by … they kept saying, “Your wife looks so strong and healthy,” and I’m pregnant, I’m ready to give birth are like, “What do you guys do? What do you guys eat?” So you were like partially sharing with them about, “Well we eat and this and that …”

Dr. Dan: Yeah we went through it all.

Siri Shakti: And –

Dr. Dan: While you’re … while Millena was coming out, yeah.

Siri Shakti: Well to be fair, I was walking through the aisles like having major contractions, but she came like within 20 minutes after that so …

Dr. Dan: Yeah that’s awesome.

Siri Shakti: Yeah. So really what we’ve been talking about here in this episode is that it’s really just coming back to that trust thing. I mean that’s really what I want to just drill in here, is that when you’re going through the day to day experiences of your growing pains or your feel good pains … No, we don’t have those, right? No, but what I mean is whether you’re feeling challenged or things are feeling like they’re just working out well, no matter what your experiences is, that you are trusting that there is a bigger picture here, that there is a bigger plan at play in your life. And when you’re really going through that growing pain sensation that you stay grounded, you stay routed and secure in yourself and you trust and know that you’re going to make it through this, and you know like I was saying for every problem, there is always a solution.

Dr. Dan: I like to say for every challenge. It sounds better.

Siri Shakti: There we go, for every challenge, there is a solution.

Dr. Dan: Yeah.

Siri Shakti: And the law of the Aquarian Age is there is a way through every obstacle.

Dr. Dan: Yeah. Well again everything happens for a reason and purpose –

Siri Shakti: That’s right.

Dr. Dan: And it’s meant to serve you.

Siri Shakti: Yeah.

Dr. Dan: And again every challenge that you come across, every challenge that you come across, just remember that it’s so you can spread your wings.

Siri Shakti: Beautiful.

Dr. Dan: So it is necessary. All right, so before we get to your RockStar mission for today, we want to remind you to go to RockStarInLife.com and to get links, resources mentioned, this episode’s transcript, download my free books, training, yoga meditation, homeschooling advice and so much more being added every single week. So remember to go to RockStarInLife.com and join the RockStar In Life revolution today.

Siri Shakti: Beautiful.

Dr. Dan: All right. So today’sRockStar mission if you choose to accept, which we hope you do, and I imagine you will, is to grab a piece of paper, your journal, your computer, whatever you’re going to write on. Write down three things in your life that you have overcame, that you have overcome in your life that has made you stronger. That has made you stronger in your life. I want you to take that pen, paper, write that down or pencil or whatever you’re going to use and write that down. Three things in your life that you have overcome and has made you stronger. And then, I want you to read that each and every morning for the next seven days. I want you to not only … first thing in the morning, you get up and I want you to read it before you even brush your teeth, keep it on the side of your bed.

I want you read it, each one of those things, and you can write more than three. You can definitely, if you’re an overachiever, go for it, do it, it’s good. So read that every morning first thing when you wake up, read it. Read each line one by one, accept it, accept that you accomplished this and celebrate it. Say, “You know what? I did this, I did this,” and get better, each morning that you read this, get better. And you know what? You can read it during the day if you want too, but at the very least, read it in the morning. Do this for the next seven days. And if you really like it, which I think you will continue.

Siri Shakti: Yeah and really feel … like you were saying Dan, is really feel that appreciation for the experience that you passed through and you grew stronger from it, you mastered it and you became stronger, better, and yeah, just like that butterfly and that frog.

Dr. Dan: Exactly. All right fellow RockStars In Life, you got your mission, it’s time for you to go out there and be a RockStar in your life.

Siri Shakti: And make the world your stage.

Dr. Dan: Thanks for listening to RockStar In Life, your source for unleashing your inner RockStar. For more tips, training and free stuff, be sure to go to RockStarInLife.com and join the RockStar In Life revolution today. Thanks again and don't forget to make the world your stage.


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