In this episode, we talk about how each previous generation (like Baby Boomers or Gen X) thinks the new generation (like Millennials or Gen Z) are doing things wrong. We talk about why this kind of thinking is dangerous. We also discuss the importance of supporting and caring for our children as well as never allowing yourself to grow too old to have fun in life.
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Transcript: (Read Time: 38 Minutes)
Siri Shakti: Welcome to the RockStar In Life Podcast, where you learn the secrets to unleashing your inner RockStar so you can make the world your stage. What's up RockStar's In Life? It's Siri Shakti, and today I am joined by my co-host …
Dr. Dan: Dr. Dan.
Siri Shakti: Today we have a really cool show planned for you guys, and I really like the name of this one. It's called Hug a Kid and Never Grow Up. What are we talking about, hug a kid and never grow up?
Well, when we were talking about our children, we were thinking about how as adults we tend to think, especially as parents, we think we have it all together, we're supposed to just be the ones to teach them and to teach the youth. Which yes we are supposed to, we're supposed to guide our children and teach them the ways of what it's like to be an adult because eventually, they will grow up. But what we've learned over the years as being parents and being around many children, is that kids are truly our greatest teacher.
Dr. Dan: I agree, but let me interject something just in case some people are listening and they're like “I don't have kids so let me just skip this episode,” because this is not just for parents.
Siri Shakti: That's right.
Dr. Dan: This is for anyone that ever chooses that they maybe want kids in the future, or they have a kid in their life whether it be a nephew, I mean it could be a cousin, it could be a little brother, a little sister. It can be any of those, or one of your best friends kids. It's not just for your own children if you're a parent, definitely listen to that as well.
Siri Shakti: Yep, absolutely. When I say that kids are our greatest teacher, when you think about children, children love to play, they love to explore, they imagine. And they also give themselves the freedom to play pretend and to pretend to be different things, try on different hats. And most of us as adults somewhere along the lines we've learned to not dream so big, not explore like children do, and not explore different ideas of who we can be as we grow up.
Dr. Dan: Doesn't that sound a little familiar though with the whole RockStar message, as far as that's all it is. As a child you're not told what you can't do so you have that imagination. You have those great ideas and nothing's going to stop you, and that's what we're trying to get you back to. That's why this is important, it's all part of that.
Siri Shakti: Exactly. When I say learning from children, there's a difference here, I'm not talking about us as adults learning how to be childish. I'm talking about learning how to be child like, because you can be an adult, a very successful, wise adult, but be childish. Always have that child like, excuse me not childish, child like, have that child like quality where basically your eyes are open to new ideas to explore, and play, and have fun. And that's what we're trying to teach you guys today. One thing that came to mind when I was thinking about what I wanted to share with you is there's something that my son loves to do. Our son is eight-years-old and he loves it when we put on swimsuits and we fill up our giant bathtub all the way with water and giant bubbles.
And we swim around, we play with toys, we talk, and it's become this regular thing that he loves. There's one side of me that, because often times when he wants to do this it's later in the evening right before bed, well part of me is like oh my goodness I'm so tired, I just want to lay around and watch a show. But my husband has encouraged me to do this with my son because these little moments that really don't take too long anyway, are so important to him. And you know what happens is anytime I decide to go and do that with him, I end up feeling so much better. I actually feel like I connected with him, I feel filled up with joy, and I really feel like connection of playing childlike. Right, Dan?
Dr. Dan: Exactly, yeah no exactly, yeah it's really important.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. And another example is I was listening to a podcast not too long ago, it was actually a homeschool podcast and there was this man or actually young man he's in his early 20's, and he had gone through kindergarten through high school doing homeschooling. And now he decided he wanted to be a nanny just for a few years to this family that he knows. And exactly like I experienced, he said very clearly that he's taking this job as a way to also research how children behave and how we as adults interact with children. He says there's many times that they will want to do something, they'll want to play something or play make-believe, or play at the park, and he's not feeling in the mood. He's feeling kind of like a jaded adult, tired, grumpy, just wants to sit around, and he said this. But he pushes himself to play with them, to interact with them and do the things that they want to do regardless of if he's into it or not. And the same experience that I shared with you, he says every time he ends up having so much fun and afterward he feels so much better. And he said very clearly “Kids know how to feel good, they know how to take care of themselves by playing, and having fun like this.” He says that children are his greatest teacher, just another really good example.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, exactly. I mean as you know because you see me every day, when we go places like yesterday we went to Laguna Beach. And we were at the beach and I think right after we got out of the car or something I started dancing and doing some weird stuff, at the beach we were playing around and having a good time. It's important to do that because it gives you energy and it makes you feel better, but a lot of people there are too serious. One of the RockStar lessons was being serious as a heart attack, there's a reason why that saying is serious as a heart attack. It's not being funny and having fun and then getting a heart attack, no it's being serious being like that. It's important to have fun, to play around, and that's what we mean by, a few things by now growing up. Not being grumpy, not doing the things and these things all fill you up as well. I mean there's a whole nother part of this, which has to do with the whole raising your kids to be what they're meant to be in order for them to evolve and be better than us. And that's the thing is I think a lot of parents, I can't say a lot of parents because I haven't taken an accurate measurement, I haven't done a scientific data analysis.
Siri Shakti: You haven't done a study?
Dr. Dan: I haven't traveled to different states, just from my experience of speaking with parents and talking to them and seeing some posts and stuff like that online and conversations, a lot of the parents they're very disconnected with their children. And they're blame their children and say things like “Oh they're face is always in their phone and they're on Snapchat, or Facebook.” Most of them aren't on Facebook, they're on Instagram, or Snapchat, or something else. They're doing something like that or they're watching TV and things like that. And the thing is that to spend time with them, don't force them to do things you enjoy. Instead, do things that they enjoy. You can still introduce them to things that you enjoy, but make sure that you do things they want to do because they're selfish, they're kids. They're not thinking oh dad do what you want to do usually. It's not bad, it's not bad that they're selfish, it's actually part of their DNA is that they need to be selfish because as children, especially when they're young, they can't protect themselves. It's kind of ingrained in them, it's in their DNA that if they don't become selfish then they would die.
Siri Shakti: Yes, yes.
Dr. Dan: Survival.
Siri Shakti: I do remember in our yoga teachers training they were talking about that very thing, but it was talking about how their brains function. That before the age of 18 kids brains they can't access that center that actually fuels that sense of compassion, so they can learn to be good and to not get in trouble, or to get praise from their parents. But being good and behaving good is different than that actual sense of emotional compassion that doesn't come until later, until their brain can actually access those emotions. Yes kids are naturally selfish, and I think a lot of parents they either have never heard this before so they think that their kids should already be compassionate.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, I don't know how many times I have to remind myself of this because with our kids when they do something wrong how quick are they to say “Sorry.”
Siri Shakti: No.
Dr. Dan: And then like 10 minutes later they do the exact same thing and then say “Sorry” again, and they do it over, and over, and over again. Imagine if adults acted like that, no one would want to be around you if you did something like stepped on somebody's foot and it hurt or something and then they're like “Oh sorry,” and then they looked right in your face and did it again. I mean you'd be like I'm not going to be around this person ever again.
Siri Shakti: There are adults like that too, unfortunately.
Dr. Dan: I know, not in our lives, fortunately.
Siri Shakti: No. Yes, one of the things that really comes to mind for myself when we talk about getting on the level of our children or kids in your life, and just like you said Dan, to do things that the kids love. Get on their level, see what they're interested in.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, give some examples of that for our son Bodhi, he loves Minecraft, and Roblox, and-
Siri Shakti: Perfect example, he's always asking me “Can you play Roblox with me,”-
Dr. Dan: Which is a game if adults you guys don't know that your kids are probably playing that you don't even know they're playing.
Siri Shakti: Or Minecraft is a really big one, and he also has Roblox toys that he got for Christmas. And so now his new thing is we go and he has a tepee, he's like “Come play with me in my teepee.” We close the tepee up and it's so hot in there, and we play Roblox, set up a little barricade and there's like zombies attacking. And one of my greatest joys is sitting back and seeing him really inspired while he's playing. Sometimes I barely have to say anything, he just wants my presence there and he's just doing all the voices and moving the characters. But just by me being there he feels good that I'm there with him.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, I mean do this … I don't know each individual person's schedule, we're both home all day. But commit to like at least 10-minutes a day to start and then you can increase it, you can start at 20-minutes if you want, or 30-minutes, an hour, whatever it is. But 10-minutes of you spending time with your child, or the child, and just doing something they enjoy. Something that they want to do, whether it's play video games, play legos, or with toys, or whatever it is. Just do something with them and start with that.
Siri Shakti: That's another thing is you mention that often times kids have their head buried in their electronics, and I know you and I were discussing the generations, the different generations and the gaps of understanding.
Dr. Dan: Each generation thinks the would it be previous, that the other generations, no not previous. Every previous generation, let's give them names right, we have the baby boomers, which would be like our parents, they're in their 50's, 60's or something like that and above or whatever. And they think that we should be raising our children how they were kind of raised, not saying that our parents are saying that, I'm just saying that the generation in a whole they think … How many times have you heard, even our generation, how many times have you heard our generation say things like for the new generation of kids coming out saying “When we were kids we were playing outside all the time.” I hear all that all the time from my own family members, “Do you remember when we were kids, what's wrong with these kids, they're always indoors, they're always playing their games, and they're in their Instagram, and their Snapchat, and their Facebook.”
Siri Shakti: Perfect example, I love movies that are based in the Victorian age. And one thing that I hear all the time, like Sense and Sensibility, is the mother or the father would come in and say to the kids “Get your head out of that book and get outside and play.” Now as parents we're usually saying, “Get your head in the book,” instead it's “Read more.”
Dr. Dan: Or go play outside.
Siri Shakti: Well now it's “Get your head out of the computer or out of your phone and go play outside.” It's all just relative.
Dr. Dan: And again, we're not saying our kids should be on the computer for 10-hours or whatever a day, no that's not healthy, it's in moderation. But I had this discussion with one of my friends that I do business with, and he was talking about “My kids don't have computers, they have an iPad they share or something like that and they can play here and there and stuff like that.” And I'm like “Well why?” They're like, “I don't want them being on the computer all the time.” Well their business is being on the computer themselves, them their father. And I'm like “So you don't want your kids to learn the things that will take care of them for them they get older, the skills?” Their thought on it is that they'll have plenty of time to do that, which I'm not saying that they won't, but we've had this discussion where you're like “They shouldn't be on the computer.” And I'm like “This is stuff that they need to learn, it's training them, it's training them for what's coming.”
They learn how to type, when I was a kid they put me in I remember in school I was sitting there learning to type and I hated it, and I don't even remember anything that they tried to teach me. But it was on a typewriter, it wasn't on a computer. And today, I actually didn't learn I even tried doing some of those typing programs and I just could never get it down, so instead I just learned when I was in my 20's and I got a computer and I was chatting with people on internet chat because that was pretty new back then. And you just kind of learn because you're just hitting keys all over the place. And I have no idea how long it takes me to type something, but I'm doing pretty decent.
Siri Shakti: Well that's how our kids ended up learning how to type because I remember I got this typing program, I actually got two different typing programs over the years. And they did them, but they were so bored by them and they resisted it. Instead, I finally put it away and they just taught themselves how to type. I'm sure that they're not doing it perfectly by standard like you would learn out of a program, but I'll tell you what our kids are faster typers than me now, and I'm a pretty fast typer. Especially our son Bodie, he is like lightning fast.
Dr. Dan: And you type proper don't you?
Siri Shakti: I type proper, yeah.
Dr. Dan: But here's just another little point on that is that they're good enough, and in just a few short years I mean I'm guessing maybe two years or so typing is not really going to be that important. It's going to be like what is it called, cursive, nobody writes in cursive really anymore.
Siri Shakti: Only to sign your signature really.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, it's like it's a forgotten … We were teaching our kids cursive and we're like “I don't know why we're teaching this but in case you ever need it.” But it's like ancient scrolls because now everything is, or not everything, but there's a lot of voice-to-text and then text-to-voice and it's getting better, and better, and better. We've got them in our home, we've got them on our phone, we've got them everywhere with Siri and Amazon Echo, and what's the other one, Google Home I think it's called, and there's also an Apple one too now, man.
Siri Shakti: Well and in our kids lifetimes, and I say kids meaning just kids nowadays, in their lifetime they're going to see technology change vastly. What's even relevant right now, 10-years down the road, wow. But getting back to what I was saying about the generations-
Dr. Dan: Yeah, what are they, label them out because I always forget which one's which.
Siri Shakti: Okay, well if we go back to the early 1900's we have, the early 1900's it's called the Greatest Generation, and that was during the time all the way up to when the Nazi's were invading, and Hitler and everything. And then we have what is called the GI Generation, people also call it the silent generation, which is the 1920's to 1945.
Dr. Dan: I've heard different variants of this, they'll call them different things, and I think even the numbers might change a little bit as well, but yeah.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, don't take my numbers as certainty here because I was reading online and there's all different variations of this, but this is jus the general dating here. Then we have the Baby Boomers, and then Generation X, which is your generation Dan.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, so Baby Boomers would be like our parents?
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: They're anywhere from I don't know if it would be the 50's and 60's and beyond to like 70 maybe, I don't know 60? Somewhere around there.
Siri Shakti: Around there.
Dr. Dan: Yeah.
Siri Shakti: And then we have my generation, which is the Millennials. And then our newest generation, which is all of our young kids is Generation Z, people also call it the I Generation.
Dr. Dan: I wonder if they call them Generation Z for Zombie, because they joke around and say “They're like zombies they don't want to work or anything.”
Siri Shakti: I don't know.
Dr. Dan: Who came up with these names anyway, it's like … I mean maybe I don't know was the Great Generation or the Greatest Generation was because-
Siri Shakti: Because they were great.
Dr. Dan: I guess, I don't know, or was that the time of the great depression, I don't know. Regardless, it's just weird names, Gen X, Gen Y, and Millennials and all that crazy stuff.
Siri Shakti: One thing that I love that I was reading about is how the Baby Boomers because they were very, very hard workers. They look at Generation X as being kind of slackers, and I'm not talking about everyone but this is just a general idea here.
Dr. Dan: Well let's give some contrast to that though, I like how you're saying that and I want you to get to that point, but let's talk about that for a second because I think that's important is that each generation … Oh go ahead, what were you going to say?
Siri Shakti: I was going to say the other thing that goes with that is because they call them slackers because Generation X what was really important to them was having more work life balance compared to their parents.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, well if you look at let's say … what was before the Baby Boomers again?
Siri Shakti: The GI Generation.
Dr. Dan: All right, and if there's another name then there's another name as well because I remember reading a different name to that as well. That generation the parents stayed home, or not the parents, I'm sorry the mom. The mom stayed home, so she took care of the kids and then it wasn't until the Baby Boomers and that's why you were talking about oh how they're hard workers. Because all of a sudden women were, I don't want to say forced into the workforce, but they had the choice. I think because they weren't allowed they wanted to, which is great. But I think my guess, because I'm not from that generation but I would assume, I would like to think that a lot of women that didn't want to work felt like they had to work. It was like either their duty or friends pressured them into it, and the only reason I say this is because you, even though you're not from the Baby Boomers, how many working women have tried to guilt you to work? They're like “You should have a job, you should have a job.”
Siri Shakti: It actually was kind of the idea of then you have your independence and your own money.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, it's like seriously you do what you want to do. When you told me that I was like “Yeah, you do whatever you want to do.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah, and with the Baby Boomer generation as they got older and so many women went to work, and believe me I'm not saying it's not good for women to work, let me make that very clear.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, it's your choice but you shouldn't be guilted into it if you don't want to.
Siri Shakti: I'm also just giving you an overall example of how each generation kind of played out, and so many more women in the Baby Boomer generation went to work compared to their parents generation. And at this time-
Dr. Dan: Well compared, yeah there was none, there was very few jobs for women. Yeah it was a big deal, now those parents they were all working and then our generation, or mine.
Siri Shakti: Your generation, Generation X, there wasn't really a lot of daycare's yet. And so I was reading that the women would go to work, or the husband and wife would both go to work, kids would just stay home by themselves.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, we'd either stay home by ourselves or in my case sometimes I had babysitters, sometimes I would go to my parents work and I'd drive them crazy. Funny story on that, I don't know if this will get me in trouble, what's the statute of limitations of poisoning somebody's food? I'm just kidding, no, no, I actually used to play with the potatoes in the back because I didn't have that many toys.
Siri Shakti: Poor Dan.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, well back then the toys were like the size of a truck, they were big and heavy and you couldn't transport them from one place to another, no I'm just kidding.
Siri Shakti: Are you from like the Dark Ages?
Dr. Dan: No, but we didn't have Nintendo, or any of that, we didn't have those game consoles, we didn't have flat screen TV's or anything. The TV's weighed like 150 pounds for a small TV, right?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: I remember I had toys and stuff and I'd play in the back of the restaurant because they owned a restaurant, and I would pretend like the potatoes were battling each other and I stabbed them, and I think at one point I put a Band-Aid on one of the potatoes because he got injured. I guess that one because my dad would usually grab them and throw them away and stuff if I played with them, and I guess that one got away and almost got to a customer and there was a Band-Aid on it and they were like “What the hell?” The cook was like “Why is there a Band-Aid on this?” And my dad as like “Oh, man.”
Siri Shakti: I'm glad it almost got to them, and didn't get to them.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, be happy that I'm not in that restaurant anymore.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, oh my gosh that's gross.
Dr. Dan: Exactly. I just needed a hug, that's what it was.
Siri Shakti: Oh do you need a hug right now?
Dr. Dan: No.
Siri Shakti: Okay.
Dr. Dan: Give me one later.
Siri Shakti: Okay, I will.
Dr. Dan: But with our generation, Generation X, our parents were all working, had babysitters, and in my partners case, my business partner Ben, he actually had nannies kind of raising him.
Siri Shakti: But a positive part of that even though often times Generation Xer's were left alone, you guys have also become one of the most successful and independent self-sufficient generations. For good reason, obviously you have to kind of figure out your own way if you're left alone a lot.
Dr. Dan: Yeah and then with the Millennials, your generation, they're considered lazy because I mean they're thinking the same way, and there's a lot of other things that I've heard Gen Xer's or Baby Boomers call the Millennials. But the reality is is that now I know for us we do that kind of like an attachment parenting where we're there for our kids. We tell them we love them, and we're with them all the time, and we do stuff with them all the time, and we care, we make them wear helmets and stuff, which is something I thought I would never do as a kid myself. I was like when I got older, remember we were like first dating and we'd see kids and we're like “I'm never going to have my kid wear a helmet when he's skateboarding, or riding a bike, or anything like that.” I mean because that was considered being a wimp by wearing that stuff, but we care about our children, we don't want them to get hurt, we're there for them, we don't just leave them at home by themself.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, and in the Millennial Generation, we were really the first ones to … I mean okay yes, there was obviously some technology in Generation X, but as the Millennials we were the first one to have more exposure to the internet. And so that opened up this whole other world for our generation that I think really shifted how we learned things. It was really during our formidable years that this was coming out. I mean I can remember in high school sitting on the computer all night talking to people on AOL, and that was such a new thing.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, I was doing Irc Chat.
Siri Shakti: I've never heard of that one.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, it was like Irc Chat, it was like Internet Relay something Chat I guess.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, and then moving into this next generation, Generation Z, which is the younger kids. Actually, it's pretty much years 2000 to present day, and I really feel-
Dr. Dan: I thought there was another generation after that though that's coming next or something.
Siri Shakti: Well next, but sorry I didn't find that in my research.
Dr. Dan: I'm sure it's out there, there's a lot of conflicting stuff.
Siri Shakti: But one thing I've noticed about this beautiful Generation Z is that they get so much, there's so much criticism about “They get too much technology, and they always have their head in their computer and their phones and this and that.” And I really think of technology when it comes to this generation because technology is really exploded in the year 2000 and to present day. And technology is going to be such a huge part of these kids life, and it is a part of their life. As adults, it is our opportunity and our responsibility to teach them that balance, it's not like we said, Dan was saying “It's not about letting them just bury their head in their computer for 10-hours a day,” right?
Dr. Dan: Yeah, you got to teach them balance. And it's important to understand that there's no … well I guess we're all kind of guessing moving forward, but no past generation knows better than the future generation. I guess in a way, I can't say about everything, but without us allowing as our kids get older, without allowing them, and this is something we tell our kids. Our kids say “You always think you're right.”
Siri Shakti: I've heard that many times.
Dr. Dan: Yeah many times, and I'm like “Well in this case I am, but I'll tell you what if you can prove me wrong I'm willing to accept that I'm wrong.” Be willing to accept if you're wrong and you made a mistake. And I tell I say “Hey look, I know quite a bit and if I don't I'll look it up.” And I don't mind being wrong, I can take my ego out of that, yeah of course I'd like to be right ever single time but I know that's not possible. You kind of got to guide them and protect them and let them know, this is something I let our kids know all the time is that “Hey I'm here to guide you and help you avoid a lot of the mistakes that I've made and that we've made growing up. And there's going to be things that you teach us, and that you're going to learn on your own, and we want you to be better than us.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah, we say that to them a lot.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, “We want you to be smarter than us, better than us, and all that.” We also give them the ability to learn those things, we give them that leeway, we say “Hey we want you to be better than us, we're not trying to hold you back at all. And if we're wrong we're willing to accept that we made a mistake.”
Siri Shakti: Yes, yes. And with this new generation, I really feel like as adults we need to give them more respect and more understand. And we have to understand that kids nowadays are so much more hyper aware because they were born into the world of this technological advancements. We're in the information age, they were born into it, and so not only are they exposed to so much but their minds are working so fast and so many different directions. But their minds can handle it because we've evolved to this point, but we have to understand that kids are very sensitive. And this whole thing, I've heard it so many times, of other generations judging other generations, we got to get out of that. Bottom line is this, is that each generation evolves, with each generation the world is changing, it's different, and us as human beings are different. And I'm not even just talking on a physical visual level where you can see the human body, I'm talking on an emotional level, our brains, our minds are evolving. And we can't expect our kids, or the next generation to come, to act the way that we act, to behave the way that we act, or to be like we were as kids.
Dr. Dan: Or like the same things, whether it be TV shows, or music, or clothing, styles, fashion, any of those levels as well. At one point the things that we liked, our parents and our grandparents looked at us and they were like “What, you listen to that crap?” And we get that today, we just had people over at our house recently for a holiday party and we were talking about one of the YouTube shows. And we were showing that, in case you guys a lot of you parents or older generation have probably never heard of Jake Paul or Logan Paul, and they have YouTube channels that have close to 10 million or above 10 million subscribers. I don't remember which one has which, but they're around there. And the things that they're doing it's crazy, and seeing what they're doing on YouTube is like what we had growing up on TV.
Siri Shakti: Like MTV.
Dr. Dan: Like MTV, well that would be like YouTube, the new MTV is YouTube. And those shows on there, like Jake Paul and Logan Paul, that's like the shows that we grew up loving. And I'm actually blanking, what kind of shows did we love growing up? I liked Night Rider, but you're probably too young?
Siri Shakti: Care Bears, does that count?
Dr. Dan: Oh yeah, definitely. Logan Paul is like Care Bears, I'm sure he would love that example right there.
Siri Shakti: I'm just joking.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, but the A Team, or whatever shows you liked is basically what they got. And it might not be your cup of tea, something you enjoy, but try to understand that whatever shows that you enjoy that your parents would get onto you for watching, my dad would watch Hogan's Hero's and I didn't like any of that. And watch shows like that, or what was that other one he would always watch, man I know he watched Mr. Bean, which I liked some of his movies but back when I was younger and he would watch his shows or Star Trek or-
Siri Shakti: He would watch a lot of old western shows too.
Dr. Dan: Old western shows and stuff like that, I mean each generation is going to have their thing that they enjoy. Learn to respect it instead of say “Oh that's stupid or how do you like that crap?”
Siri Shakti: Totally. This is kind of one of my pet peeves, in my personal opinion I think Logan Paul and Jake Paul are like geniuses, I think they're really innovative. I have heard so many adults say “Oh my gosh these guys, I can't stand that show,” so judgmental. I feel like that's really that old crotchety kind of-
Dr. Dan: “Get off my lawn, kids.”
Siri Shakti: Yes, like come on seriously see it through different eyes, because when I watch that show I see what they're in their young early 20's?
Dr. Dan: You watch it all the time by yourself?
Siri Shakti: No, when I watch it with the kids, when I see it in passing all I think is this is super fun. They have so much energy, they're super creative, they're always coming up with new ideas, and that's why I say genius. It may not be book smart genius, it's genius in its own right. And I personally don't mind my kids watching it, I think that they learn a lot from them, and I hope that our kids are that innovative and creative as they get older.
Dr. Dan: Yeah in their own way, not saying that they have to create a YouTube show like that.
Siri Shakti: No, that's not what I mean, yeah.
Dr. Dan: And also I mean I've heard people complain about those two right there and their shows, what was it I remember seeing something about because now they're getting offered like roles in movies and stuff like that, Hollywood movies. And I've heard Hollywood A-listers say “I'll never work with that person, or they didn't work hard like we had to in order to get these roles, they didn't go to a proper school for the arts, to acting school or have acting coaches and things like that.” Well I mean I look at it the opposite, and I've heard Logan Paul say this as well like look these guys sure they didn't have traditional teachings, they didn't work their way up the ranks in Hollywood. But man, they had to build an audience from scratch, not only did they have to come up with the concept of the show, they had to write the show every single day, a lot of these guys they do daily shows.
They had to write it, they had to direct it, they had to produce it, they had to star in it, and then they had to edit it. How many actors do you know that are A-listers that are going to sit there and edit their own movies, I don't think so. They had to add their own music, they had to dress themselves they didn't have wardrobe, they did their own wardrobe. And then they had to distribute it, they had to upload it, they had to do all the stuff, then they had to go and get the fans to watch it and do more, and more. They had to do all of their own promotions, they didn't have anybody like paid millions of dollars or hundreds of thousands of dollars to go out there and promote it and make posters and do interviews. No, they had to do it all themselves so I give them a lot of mad respect.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, major props. And that is such commitment, there is so many of them that do the daily shows, that's a major commitment. Actually, I was watching one of Logan Paul's recent videos, he was sick. You could tell he was really sick, he had pretty much lost his voice, and he still did a video, he still was doing his YouTube videos.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, that's awesome, that takes commitment.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, big time.
Dr. Dan: In other words, what we're trying to say here is that to respect the future generation because they're the ones that's taking over next. We don't want them to be stagnant, we don't want them to do exactly what we did or the previous generation. Because then we would not evolve, technology would not change, we would not be able to heal the planet because we all know that hopefully everybody listening and I'm sure that you do, know that the previous generation's really screwed up our planet because they weren't thinking about any of that stuff. And unfortunately right now the planet's still not doing that well, but fortunately when people are thinking doom and gloom the generations coming in the future, somebody's going to create something or do something and tip the scales.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, and that's one thing being in our homeschooling community I've gotten to interact with a lot of kids. And I often hear conversations between the kids that just are so encouraging, because the way that they talk to each other and the things that they think about, are different than even my generation. For existence, for existence did I say?
Dr. Dan: Yeah, you did say for existence. For instance.
Siri Shakti: For example, for instance thank you, my dear, dear friend Livia, her son is three-years-old. And one of his favorite things, which Livia loves, is he loves to vacuum the house. In fact, for Christmas he is probably the only three-year-old I've ever met that wanted a vacuum for Christmas, and so she's like “Heck yeah I'll get you a vacuum.” He loves, he vacuums the house, she even has a little garbage bag for him and recycling bin because he has these little trucks and he likes to go around the house picking up garbage and recycling and then separating them. And you know what he told his mom when she asked why he likes to do this, he says “Because I want to help clean up planet Earth.” And I know he's only three, but for a three-year-old to be talking this way, he's going to grow up with that idea in his head that we got to clean up this beautiful planet that we live on. We do need to evolve as humanity, we can't just always keep things the same, just like you were saying Dan. Let's encourage these kids, and let's be a part of it.
Dr. Dan: Yeah. If you are a father or a mother and you just haven't spent that much time with your kid, like we said spend 10, 20 minutes a day to start doing something that they enjoy. Say something nice to them and don't look for the perfect reaction, especially if this is something that you haven't done in a long time and you say “Hey I like your sweater today or what's that you're watching?” And normally when you say that it might trigger a response from the because usually you're like “Turn that crap down or change the channel, I hate this guy,” or something like that. So you might get a weird reaction from them, but you know what just keep doing it and things will change. This reminds me of … And again, if you are not a father or a mother and this is a niece or a nephew or some kid that's in your life that you obviously know the family, we're not talking about strangers kids. You don't want to go up to a strangers kid and start complimenting him or something like that without asking permission first. “Hey I think your kids really cool, he's a great football player, can I tell him that?” Sure, ask the parents and let them know that.
But whenever I think about that, there was something I shared at one of the events that we were doing when I did a seminar in Las Vegas and we were talking about this and this story still sticks with me. There was this father and he had kind of checked out in a way from his family, he was working long hours, he was always depressed himself so he was always internally within his own turmoil. He wasn't really there for, he had a son, his son was I think 14 or something like that, and his son was having a hard time and was kind of a loner, didn't really have much friends and was always on his computer. And he hadn't really talked to his father, and his father hadn't really talked to him in a long time. And the father decided he was listening to either a podcast, or reading a book, or something like that and in there it kind of just talked about the importance, kind of like we're talking about the importance to tell your family members that you love them and to spend time with them. It kind of reminded him of that and he was just like yeah man I need to do that, I need to change something because I'm just unhappy myself. And that's what it is, and why should everybody else suffer, I should actually make sure that I tell everybody I love them.
He came home that night and he told his son, his son was in his room and he knocks on the door and came in there and said “Son, I just came in here I just wanted to tell you that I know I haven't been around that much, I've been working a lot. I've been depressed myself so I haven't really been there for you guys, and I just wanted to let you know I'm really proud of you son and I love you.” I just wanted you to know that, and the only reason I didn't tell you that was because I was within my own stuff and I was feeling crappy about myself, but I just wanted you to know that because I didn't know if you knew that. And then his son actually just starts to break down crying and he's like crying, and crying, and crying. His dad is like, “What did I upset you? What did I say, I'm sorry.” The son kind of like was wiping his tears as he was crying and looks up at his father and says “I thought that nobody cared about me and I was actually making plans to commit suicide tonight.”
Siri Shakti: Wow.
Dr. Dan: And that stays with me because you never know saying one thing nice, whether it's a kid or a stranger. You might be going through the grocery store line and either somebody in line or the cashier themselves is looking grumpy or down, or just looks like they're not having a good day or whatever, a lot of people will discard and that and be like “Oh they're just a jerk. Quit your job and go somewhere else then if you're not happy here.” Instead, you don't know what's going on in their life, just like in that story right there with the son. And one little bit of kindness could actually shift everything, and you never know. And I like to say it's kind of like the domino effect, or I forgot what that movie was called but there was a movie where it was kind of like the multi-level marketing of good deeds. Where he would do one good deed for one person, and then the other person does a good deed, and then three more, and then three more and it just keeps growing like you're telling people “Go out and pass on the good deed.”
And that's kind of what happens there is you never know, you speaking to a child and telling them how proud you are of them and then all of a sudden they're feeling great and they do the same thing and tell somebody else something nice because now they're feeling good about themselves, or in the grocery store or whatever. And you might positively impact that person to doing something as well, and that might be the person that heals the world. “Why did you decide to heal the world with your special invention that you just dropped in the ocean and it cleaned everything and the world is all great and everything?” It's like, “Oh well I was in line at the grocery store and this guys behind me said I can go in front of him, and we got to talking about fruits, and vegetables and all these other cool things and how they wanted to own a farm. And I'm like you know what I want to heal the world, so I healed the world now.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah, that reminds me of that story we were talking about the starfish story.
Dr. Dan: Oh yeah, yeah.
Siri Shakti: How does that one go again, because that relates to this perfectly.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, again the way that relates to it is that there was a girl, a young girl, and she was on the beach. It was early in the morning, and I forgot where it was but there was all these starfish that I guess at certain times of the year would get like brought in from
Siri Shakti: From the tides.
Dr. Dan: … from the tides and they would get stuck on the beach, and then they would sit there and dry up and then die. And there was like hundreds all over the beach, and the little girl was running after every single one she can get to and throwing them back in the water, throwing it back in the water, throwing it back in the water. And just trying to get one every 20-seconds or so was about as fast as she can do it. And this man, this adult, walks by and goes “What are you doing?” She goes, “I'm saving the starfish.” He looks at her and he says, “There's hundreds of them, you can't possibly make a difference.” And then she grabs a starfish and throws it in the water and says, “I made a difference for that one.”
Siri Shakti: Nice, oh I love that one.
Dr. Dan: It's not about, don't look at it as like oh well I need to help every single person or how can I make a difference? You make a difference for one person, that one person might be the one that makes a difference for millions or billions of people on the platen. You just got to keep doing that and remember it, and that's why we want to do this consistently.
Siri Shakti: I think about that when, I mean it's a little bit different, but whenever our kids have their friends over to our house. I always get this sensation, especially since they're at our house they're under my care, I get this sensation like I'm their parent and not that I'm going to go discipline them, that's not what I mean. I'm not going to go discipline and parent them, but it's this feeling like I'm going to give them respect, and care, and be kind to them.
Dr. Dan: Just like they're your kid because you're taking care of them.
Siri Shakti: Just like they're my kids yes.
Dr. Dan: They're your responsibly right now, you nurture.
Siri Shakti: I nurture. Yeah, it's basically just this feeling like I just want to care for all kids, it's not only when they're at our house, but when I'm in the presence of any kids that I encounter. My daughter dances, when I go to the dance studio I always have this feeling especially since I'm the adult, that I'm going to show care and respect to that child. And so when you talk about showing kindness, I know you're talking about generally with everyone, but with children I think that life can be pretty hard now days because there's so much expected of our kids. With school, with sports, so much going on, so much business that when we as adults take a little bit of extra effort to be kind and ask how they're doing and say something nice to them, then it just makes them feel good.
And I'll never forget this one time it was our daughter's 13th birthday and it was like 1:00 in the morning and the girls were all having a big sleepover and they weren't falling asleep, but they were just kind of settling down in her room. And I decided to go check on them one time and ask if they needed anything, so I knocked and opened the door and I said “Girls, do you guys need anything, is everyone okay?” And so then when I closed the door I started walking away and I heard one of her friends, and it made me feel so good, she said “Maylina your mom is so nice.”
Dr. Dan: Yeah, didn't she say that her mom would have came in and started screaming at them?
Siri Shakti: Yes I won't name names, oh goodness, but yeah that was the other part I forgot. And I kind of, I wasn't doing it for kudos but it made me feel good that it was confirmation for me that acting that way towards young people, towards kids, it makes a difference definitely.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, you have no idea it might impact them to be like you know what, that's the kind of mom I'm going to be. I know our kids are all like “I'm going to be the best mom ever.” We've heard our kids say to us, “I'm going to be a better mom than you.” And we're like “Yeah good, we want you to be.” Exactly evolve, instead of taking it personally and be like “You're saying I'm not a good mom?” No, you want your kids to be better than you.
Siri Shakti: Yes, beautiful. Well I think we are coming to the time where we are going to give you your RockStar mission.
Dr. Dan: Yep, well before we do I want to remind you to go to rockstarinlife.com where we'll have links to the resources mentioned in this episode, we'll have the transcript, you can download my free books, training, yoga, meditation, homeschooling advice, and so much more being added every single week. Go to rockstarinlife.com and join the RockStar In Life revolution today.
Siri Shakti: Nice, and one more thing before we say our RockStar mission, I love this. Instead of thinking to yourself how old are you, think to yourself how young am I? Let's get out of this mindset that we're old, I mean I can't believe how many people at age 30 have told me that they're old, okay that's silly.
Dr. Dan: I'm just getting old.
Siri Shakti: That's so silly guys, I mean come on. And even you can play around with this, when you meet someone instead of saying “How old are you, how young are you?” And just see their reaction, it's fun.
Dr. Dan: Exactly. Are we ready for the RockStar mission?
Siri Shakti: We're ready.
Dr. Dan: All right. Your RockStar mission today if you choose to take it on, which we hope you do, is to say something nice to your kid, your child, or the kid in your life that you're friends, family, or whatever it is, or all of them, preferably all of them. Say at least one good thing to them and commit to do this at least one time per week, at least, and journal it and keep track. When we say one good to them we're talking about obviously saying something like either compliment them or tell them how they're great at something, or anything like that.
Siri Shakti: Nice.
Dr. Dan: What are some examples, give some examples.
Siri Shakti: Well it could be, I encourage you to compliment them on something that they're doing that you're maybe not even interested in. For instance, when my son is playing his game I'll make a conscious effort to-
Dr. Dan: Well he'll ask, he'll say “Do you like what I built here in Minecraft or Roblox, see me new outfit in Roblox?”
Siri Shakti: Yes, yes but sometimes he doesn't even ask me. Sometimes I'll just walk by and I'll kind of lean over and see what he's doing and compliment him. When he's playing Minecraft and he's building something, I'm like “Wow you built that, that looks so awesome.” And I'm not necessarily interested in it but I'm making myself see the value in what he's doing.
Dr. Dan: Exactly because you know he put effort, and time, and cares about those things. Again, commit to doing this at least once per week, journal, keep track. Also, by writing down how they reacted, so you can keep track of that. Also, if you notice any difference in them after doing that. And also, in yourself, how you've kind of changed or how it made you feel. If it made you feel good or nervous or whatever it is, that way you're able to keep track of what it's done for you. And then as far as, obviously you can do this more than once a week, once a day is great. But if you don't see them once a day then obviously you have to do it when you see them. Also, commit to spending at least 10-minutes a day doing something they enjoy, kind of how we talked about that. More is obviously better, so if you could do 20-minutes, or 30-minutes, or an hour, whatever it is you can commit to, do at least 10-minutes to start per day. Now obviously if you don't see your child every day or if it's another child and you don't see them every day and it's a family friend or one of your family members, then do it as often as you see them. Just spend 10 or 20 minutes either doing or talking about something they enjoy.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, and I'll just say I know what I'm going to commit to because I could do better in this area too. Our 16-year-old daughter she loves drawing, and I'm an artist myself I love drawing, so I'm going to commit to spending time with her each week sitting down and drawing with her. That's one of the things I'm going to do.
Dr. Dan: I love it.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Well that's it, do all those things that we talked about and make sure to make that commitment today, right now.
Siri Shakti: Go do it, yep get to it.
Dr. Dan: Awesome. All right everybody, be a RockStar in your life …
Siri Shakti: And make the world your stage.
Outro: Thanks for listening to RockStar In Life, your source for unleashing your inner RockStar. For more tips, training, and free stuff, be sure to go to rockstarinlife.com and join the RockStar In Life revolution today. Thanks again, and don't forget to make the world your stage.
Be a RockStar In Your Life.
& Make The World Your Stage!
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