The Simple Formula Successful People Use In Their Businesses and Lives
In this episode, we discuss the simple method for creating success in ANY area of your life.
We discuss modeling those who already have the success you want. This can be done by seeking out coaches and mentors, buying courses, books, or even as simple as asking an expert how they did it!
Literally asking your friends and family who they know that could help you or point you in the right direction, could be all you need to create the success you always wanted in your life! By asking someone who already got those results you're shorting the time it would take to figure it out and avoid all the mistakes you would make trying to figure it out on your own!
We also talked about how discomfort is actually a signal that change MUST happen NOW so you don't limit yourself and lose out on all the success you desire.
Tony shares the story of the Lobster knowing when it was time to grow a new shell because of the discomfort it feels.
If you choose to see discomfort as a sign that you're on the right path then you'll start to seek discomfort, and grow to appreciate that everything you want is on the other side of discomfort.
At the beginning of the show, Dr. Dan encourages Tony to SING his intro… which is quite uncomfortable for Tony (and probably for you to watch), but is a great example of feeling the discomfort/fear and pushing through to conquer/ Overcome it!
Remove those limiting things holding you back from the success you deserve!
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Resources (if any) will be here 🙂
The Rabbi Lobster Story:
Transcript:Â (Read Time: 37 Minutes)
Dr Dan: Hey fellow RockStars, Dr. Dan here. And in this episode, we're going to be talking about a simple and easy recipe for success. How you can actually replicate this formula, this recipe that I've been using in my life over, and over, and over again. It's something that a lot of other people out there, a lot of other experts that you probably respect, you probably buy their products, read their books, you probably attend their seminars, you've watched them on videos and all over the place, and you're just like, “Man, how did they get so good at what they do?”
Well, this is probably how they did it, whether they realize it or not. So you could replicate that yourself and use it in your own life, your own business, for health, for anything, for wealth, whatever it is, you can actually replicate this over and over again like I've done for myself and so many others have. Before we get into that, let me introduce my special guest host, Tony Finbarr-Smith. Tony, are you there?
Tony: What's up fellow RockStars? I haven't got an intro yet.
Dr Dan: Awesome. Well, why don't you sing something for us, a little singing intro? Because a lot of you don't know that Tony is actually a professional singer, and he hasn't warmed up today and he's told me that he really needs to warm up, but we'll forgive him. He can't be any worse than Mariah Carey on that New Year's Eve, the one she did, right?
Tony: Well, I thought that was what we were going for. Oh God. Okay. Well, now I'm on the spot, Dan. What kind of thing are we thinking?
Dr Dan: I don't know. Just saying, “Hey, this is Tony.” I mean, whatever, something like that.
Tony: I thought that was what we're after. Okay.
Dr Dan: You want me to do it for you and then you can do it after me?
Tony: Go for it.
Dr Dan: (singing). There you go. Can't be any worse than that.
Tony: (singing).
Dr Dan: I love it. Boom. There you go, man. And can you believe I've never actually had a lesson in my life. I'm self-taught baby, #homeschooled.
Tony: Wow. Without the aid of a safety net. Amazing.
Dr Dan: Yeah. That's something that we do in our house whenever somebody mis-spell something or says something really dumb or something, we always use the #homeschooled. I wasn't homeschooled but my kids were, so we have fun with that where we mess something up or we ask a dumb question.
Tony: [crosstalk].
Dr Dan: Yeah, I guess we should get rocking with this one, right?
Tony: Yep. Let's go.
Dr Dan: You're ready for this?
Tony: So ready.
Dr Dan: Love it. All right. Yeah. So again, like I said, this is something that I've used in my life, my business, for health, for wealth, for business, for relationships, for everything that you can imagine. Some people call it modeling, I call it recipes for success because it is a formula, it is a recipe. If you follow this over and over again, you can just replicate it in every way that you want. And you can learn really fast and master things super quick in your life. It's really cool. It's something… I don't know, Tony, I guess you could chime in as well as I'm explaining and then see if it's something that you figured out on your own, or it's something that maybe you learned from somebody else, or for me, or something. I actually first learned it from one of my first mentors, Tony, so… Not this Tony.
Tony: Not me.
Dr Dan: But Tony Robbins. Yeah. From Tony Robbins which I was part of his platinum partnership where I got to travel around the world, and learn from him, and some of his mentors, and have lunch and dinner and breakfast, and… usually in the other order though, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I blame my ADHD for that, for how I mix those things up. But this is something that ever since I learned it, I'm just like, “Man, I'm going to use this all the time.” And I find myself always going back to it.
And some of the ways that you can get there, the fastest is to, like I said, model somebody else. And when I say model, this can be hiring like a coach, right? So you can hire a coach because… whatever they charge, you're like, “Hey, 1000 bucks, 500 bucks, 200 bucks, $10,000, $20,000.” I've spent everything you can imagine. I'm about to hire a coach for TikTok, right? Because we [inaudible] playing around in the TikTok arena and had a little bit of success, but nothing major yet. So I was like, “Man, I don't want to just figure this out on my own.” And you can only read so much and learn so much on YouTube for free.
So I'm like, “Okay, I want to shortcut my success or I'm going to hire somebody.” Well, this guy's only charging 250 bucks for 30-day mentorship program, which is crazy, because I've spent over $100,000 to hire a coach. It was somewhere like $150,000. And that was for a year with phone calls, once a week calls, in person, traveling the world. And I also had to pay for the trips as well. So that's why I was like over 150 grand for that. And I did that many years ago. Again, this is something that I use over and over again. So hiring a mentor or a coach obviously that's pricey. So if that's not in your realm right now, if you can't sell something and you don't want to sell a kidney or something like that, which I don't recommend doing to be able to hire a coach-
Tony: You can only do that twice.
Dr Dan: Yeah. I learned that the hard way, now I've got mechanical…
Tony: Little pump. You do by hand.
Dr Dan: I'm going to buy them again. Yeah, I do by hand. That's crazy.
Tony: Yeah.
Dr Dan: You could buy a course. I've bought courses for $30, $50, $100, $1000, $10,000. Yeah. Something that might not even cost you any money, is you can send an email, you can send out a text message, or make a Facebook post, or an Instagram post, reach out to friends, family, friends of friends asking who do they know that's an expert in that industry, or in that business, or that niche, or whatever is that you want to accomplish that might be able to help you, or give you some guidance, or tell you where to go, or where to look, or who to hire, or something like that. And again, that could cost nothing because people want to help people typically, or it could cost money.
Now, I want to give you a real life example. I did this when I wanted to write my first book. And just a little background on myself, it was very painful. I knew I had a message and I wanted to get it out there but I was a D minus student in English and in school. And to be honest, I was actually, probably an F student, but they gave me D minus because they didn't want to hold me back, I guess, or I don't know, funding, who knows, right? But I was surprised that I actually graduated. It made no sense. Well, actually I didn't even graduate, so that's another story. But still, I'm surprised that they gave me a passing grade because I really didn't do that much in school.
And it wasn't because I didn't want to, it's because I just had a really tough time paying attention, I had a really tough time learning the way that they taught. It was really slow and boring for me. And again, we'll save that for another topic about ADHD, attention dialed into a higher dimension, which is what my shirt actually says, in case you're trying to read that, pass the microphone. So for me, I had a really tough time, because I had a tough time in school with English. I'm like, “Okay, how am I going to write this book now?” This guy that failed in English, and did really bad, and didn't know all the stuff that they were teaching us in there. So how am I going to write this book? So what did I do?
I grabbed a journal. I went to Starbucks. I think I bought a hot chocolate, because I don't really like coffee. So I bought a hot chocolate, or… I don't know if they had ice tea, or what do they called it? Chai tea lattes back then. Or I discovered them at that point. I don't remember. I think it was a hot chocolate I had. And I was sitting down and I was just writing down in my journal, and I'm like, “Okay, well, here's my book.” And I started writing, getting to about page two, two and a half, maybe three. And I was like, “Okay, now what?” I couldn't go any further. I was like, “I don't even know what to do. This is just painful.”
So I started sending out emails, I started sending out text messages to my network, I started reaching out to everybody that I knew and I said, “Hey, who do you know?” I think I put a post on Facebook in one of my groups that I belong to, a mastermind group. And I said, “Who do you know that could help me write a book? Who's the best seller? Who's done it and done it successfully? Not just who's done it. I don't want to write a crappy book. So who's done it successfully? Who's become a best seller? Who knows how to do it? Or they could point me in the right direction?” And a couple of people said like, “Oh, hey, this one person did it. So reach out to them.” So I did. We talked for a little bit. They gave me some tips. Everything was free. It didn't cost me anything.
There were a friend of a friend. They were happy to help me out and give me some guidance. Got me a little bit on my way. Then I was traveling to… What was it? Fiji, and I was going to be gone for two weeks. And I was in San Diego and at the time I lived in Northern California, the Bay Area, and I was traveling, and I was in San Diego, and I met up with one of my friends that lived in another state that was part of the Platinum Partnerships. And he told me… He's like, “Hey, I've got somebody that I hired, that's an author's coach. She teaches you how to actually write a book. She helps you do it from A to Z.” And I was like, “Whoa, that's what I need. I need to do that.”
And she had actually worked with Tony Robbins for many years, comes highly recommended. I guess she helped him with one of his books, but she would help him with courses and stuff like that, help record them or something like that. So I was like, “Okay, well, let me reach out to her.” Well, what did I do? Do you think I waited… because I was going to be gone for two weeks. Do you think I was going to wait until I came back from Fiji? And then I'd probably forget about it, and then be like, “Oh, well I'm too tired. I'm back from Fiji now. And I'll call her later,” or something like that. And so this will be like three, four, or five weeks and probably never will come around, right? It's like procrastinating and putting things off for tomorrow, which really means never, right? You're never going to get it done.
So I was like, “Okay, well, what would be a good time to call her?” Well, I always had this little phrase where I did… I think I actually learned this from Tony too, it's, when would be a good time? Or when would now be a good time now? Right? It's hidden in there. So I was like, “Okay, well let me call her now.” So I called her, left a message because she didn't answer. And I said, “Hey, part of the Platinum Partnership, looking to learn more about how to write a book. I want a book. I got at least one book in me and I just really want to get it out, feel this urge to get it out.” And she called me back. I can't remember if it was the same day or the day after, right before my… I was about to hop on the plane for a whole day because it takes like a whole day to get to Fiji. I think it was like 10 hours or something like that.
And we spoke for a little bit and she said, “Yep. As soon as you get back, let's meet up, let's fly to my home and we'll do this. Let's go ahead and set a tentative date.” So we did, scheduled a date. I flew to her house when I got back. We prepped before I got there and she helped me put out some ideas and stuff like that. And then as soon as I got there, I was supposed to spend just two days, over the weekend, at her house, ended up spending three or four days at her house, and I ended up not just getting one book out of me, but two books.
So I had written two books while I was there in this process. I mean, where I was stuck, trying to figure it out on my own, it took me like a couple of days to write two and a half pages, three pages, and it was so painful. At her house, in two or three days, I was able to create two books from it. I mean, that's incredible. So I was able to shortcut myself to get there, not only that, but she also taught me the strategy of how to get yourself on an Amazon bestsellers list and it was super simple. I'm like, “Whoa, this is crazy.” And she gave me all these other tips. And what's crazy is, what I learned there, from her, on how to write a book and how to map it out, that's the same process I use today to create courses, and webinars, and other things that I teach and train and sell for a lot of money. So I use that in other parts of my life as well. Have you ever done anything like that, Tony?
Tony: Absolutely, I have. Yes. I've used coaches, I have used mentors, I've taken people's concepts and applied it to other things. And, more often than not, just exactly what they said to do, starting with you guys, actually, the two RockStars, with the rank and rent stuff, building simple little websites, ranking them, and then saying to somebody, “Hey, would you like these results? I've already got it. It's [says] pretty straightforward to be fair.” And for me, it's the whole reinventing the wheel type thing that you just don't need to reinvent the wheel, you can just say, “Hey, you've got a result I want. How do you do that?”
And to be fair, one of the reasons you want to find the people who are charging you rather than those who just give the info for free, in my opinion is, one, they're usually better teachers, and two, if you've paid for it, you're more likely to implement what they tell you instead of just going, “Oh, yeah. Great. Yeah,” and then doing nothing about it. Yeah. I don't know if that was one of the points you were going to make actually.
Dr Dan: No. I agree with both points that you said. I think there's a variety, there is the exceptions, and I think it is something that happens very often, the exception. So I don't think it's a hard, fast rule that if you don't pay for them, they're not going to be as invested. Yes, they'll be invested, but I've actually typically found… Especially even for myself, I help people all the time, and they don't… If somebody isn't selling their services and they're still trying to polish their service that they're going to sell, but they're still an expert, but they haven't actually started, like… Let's say, you get a personal trainer That's like, “Oh man, I want to start teaching people how to work out.”
And they've done it though. They've done it, let's say, with clients in person, but they've never done it online. And they're like, “I want to do it online now.” So they might offer for free, or you might get them when they're trying to figure it out. And then they're just helping you, but they're just as invested, and you didn't pay them anything. And so, I can definitely see this. So I don't want to tell anybody like, “Oh, you have to pay people,” because you don't always have to, but-
Tony: Yeah. I'm thinking, to shortcut to the killer way of getting it done, yeah, absolutely, there is a… Look at me backtracking… lot of helpful stuff out there that cost nothing, because, to be fair, we all start somewhere. And yeah, I found this. You're going to pay either way. You're going to pay in money, or you're going to pay in time to get the results that you want. And if you can shortcut some of that time by getting somebody who's a good teacher, hey, there's good teachers out there that don't charge, but… Yeah. That's my view on it. If you want that fast result, you want to save time, you're buying back time by paying for it.
And I think, one of the reasons as well, just to clarify, is that I've had people ask me for help with stuff, and I've helped them, and then they've done nothing with it. And then they ask you again, basically the same thing. And you say, “Well, did you do that other stuff?” Well, we'll know because… this person over here and this person over there. And the term I like for those people are ask hoes because they're just constantly asking and they just hoe for your time and information. There's nothing more that I like than to see somebody who asks you something to then go implement it straight away. And you're like, “Oh, wow. Look at the results they got,” because it makes me feel good because they're getting somewhere. And also I can then say, “Hey, see their results over there. I helped with that.” It looks good for everyone. Yeah.
Dr Dan: Yeah. Well, usually, with people that I help, they typically already have some success. So because of that, I know that they have that attitude where they're going to take it and they're going to do something with it versus me just sitting down with some guy that I've met through a friend or I'm at a party and they're like, “Someday I want to be able to teach people how to play piano online but right now I work as a CPA and I hate my job, but I'm still going to do it because I'm too scared to do anything else.” So I might give them some advice, but I'm not going to be like, “Hey, let's get on the call and I'm going to walk you through this all,” because if they were truly ready, they'd be like, “Dude, please. I want to get out of my job. Can you help me now?” Something like that.
So I always look for that before I actually help those kinds of people, or I'm just going to give them some quick advice. It doesn't take much time for me to explain it to them, and that's pretty much it, and just leave it at that. But another strategy is you could offer to work for somebody for free and learn from them, personally, when I wanted to get in the mortgage business. And this is actually back in the height of it, right? When it was the biggest over here, right? Real estate and mortgage was huge. And people were fighting to get in and to work in that industry because there was so much money involved in there and people were making a lot of money.
But it was really tough to get into it because if you didn't have experience people weren't really willing to hire you because there were so many people that wanted to get into the business. Here in California, they even said that it was the second most popular license. Real estate license was the second most popular license behind the driver's license. That's how many people were getting their real estate license. It was insane, right? So there was more people with licenses then they could actually work in the business. Yeah. So I used what I taught you all here today, what I've been talking about, the modeling and offering to work for free. And I used all my tools and strategies to get into that business. And this is actually before I wrote my books. So this was years before that point.
What I did is, I called and I reached out to all my friends and family. I asked everybody, “Who do you know that's in the mortgage business and in that industry that maybe could put me in touch?” Not, “Who do you know that's hiring?” I didn't ask my family and friends of that. I said, “Who do you know that's in that industry at all?” And then from there, then I asked them… I asked those people in the industry, “Who do you know that might be hiring or could point me in the right direction?” Right? So I got more phone numbers. So by doing that, I'd actually created this call sheet where it's like an Excel call sheet where basically I just put what days I called them, what times I called them, left a message, or what they said, or anything like that.
And every week, two to three times a week, I would call everybody on that list. And I would leave notes of when I called them, what time I called them, did they leave a message, or did I leave a message, did they reply back to me, or whatever, what they said. So I did that. And within about two weeks from doing that, I actually had a couple people call me back. I think it was like two or three people. One of those three had actually said, “Hey, I'm not hiring right now, but I might be in the future.” And actually one of the other people did call back and said they were going to be hiring in a little over a month or two months from then. So I was like, “Man, I need something right now. I need to feed my family.” Right?
So I was like, “I need to get into this.” And so I had actually reached out to that person that said that they weren't hiring right now. And I said, “Hey, man, how about I just come in there and I just help out and I'll do anything that you want me to do, I'll do anything in the background. And really just want to get in there and learn. So you can just use me and I'm willing to do pretty much whatever you need. I'll do some of the grunt work, whatever you want to do, hand out flyers, put those little door knockers on,” right? You put on the doors and stuff like that. I was like, “Dude, nothing's beneath me. I'll do it, man. And you got to pay me anything. I want to learn and I want to help out. I like you. You're a cool guy. And I'd love to just hang out with you and learn this stuff while I'm just doing it. Just point me in the direction and I'll just do it.”
And he was so impressed with that. He's like, “Okay, sure.” So without me actually expecting anything, asking for anything, I just went out there and put out all these door knockers that he asked me to put out, these little flyers on the doors, and did a couple other things, and learned in the background as he was doing things. And he's like, “Hey man, you did a great job. Here's a 2000 bucks or 1500 bucks.” I forgot exactly what it was.
So he paid me some cash for the week and I was like, “Whoa, this is awesome.” So I'm actually getting paid and learning as well. Within two or three weeks, he got really busy and he had said, “Man, I really appreciate everything you've done. I'm too busy and I'm going to take a little bit more time at home because I had a new baby. So I'm not going to be coming to the office as much. So I don't really need you right now, but if I come back to the office and start doing that, then maybe I'll bring you back in there.” Which led me to back to my call sheet, like, “Okay, well, let me start calling.”
But here's a big difference. Now, actually had some experience. It was a little experience, but I had some experience and had a referral now, and had some money in my pocket, right? Now I was able to turn around and start calling that call sheet again, say, “Hey, I've been helping out over at this one place and I'm looking for another place because he's not going to be working as much anymore from the office and I'm looking for a new home.” And I started reaching out. I got a couple more callbacks and one said, “Hey, I'll bring you in. I'll give you a $2000 signing bonus.” And I was like, “Okay, cool.” So now I got a $2,000 signing bonus. Came in there, started working there. At the same time, I got another call from another mortgage place that said, “Hey, we're going to be hiring in two weeks. We'd like you to come in for an interview.”
So I still want to keep my options open. So I went and got an interview. They liked me. They said, “We're going to be bringing in people for training a month from now.” So I was like, “Okay, well, we'll see.” Because I'm already at this other place and I'm going to work there for a while, and if it doesn't work out then I've got this thing to fall back on. And from those two… So I went from nothing to having too many offers. And then things didn't work out at the place I was at. They didn't like… Their strategies and stuff, they didn't want me to be so inspired. I was like, “Man, I need to make money. Let's do this,” right?
And they were like, “Oh, calm down. It'll slowly get there.” And I wanted to go a little faster, right? So they're like, “We don't think this is a good fit.” But I was like, “I don't care. I've got other opportunities.” And from that, I actually got asked to come into another office, which my family member had actually owned. They opened up and they owned, and they're like, “Hey, now that you got experience, why don't you come in and you can work over here then.” And I was like, “Okay, cool.” So I jumped in there and within…
They told me, “Well, it'll take about six months to make your first check,” or whatever. And I was like, “Okay, well, I'm going to do that in my first 30 days.” So I turned around and it didn't take me 30 days, I think it was 45 days. But I was able to make more in those 45 days that I had made in the entire year prior. And I was just like, “Whoa, this is pretty cool.” And it's because I took that recipe, I took that formula that's worked for me in other parts of my life and it works over, and over, and over again.
Tony: That's amazing. And I think that there was definitely part of the urgency of the situation, was pushing you to do things that maybe people might not normally do saying, “Well, I'll work for free.” I know a guy actually. He quit his job. He was quite a big manager in a call center for Vodafone and he quit his job because he just couldn't take it anymore. And he decided, “All right. That's it. I'm going to be a barber.” So he signed up and paid for barber college, and then the pandemic hit, and then off the back of that, he ended up… Basically, all of his training got canceled for the longest time. So he was just doing like, watching YouTube training tutorials and stuff like that and he was watching everything he could, just to get there, and then he did all the training. And right now, literally this week…
Today, I saw an update in a WhatsApp group. He said that he's… We know that he's been working at this place because he's completed his training. He's been working in a barber shop for free, like a work placement type thing. And he's talking with them about doing more days, as in waiting kind of, that they can fit him in to help out, but he'll have a job in no time. And there's other people on his course who had just sat there, waiting for somebody to come to them. And whether people believe in the law of attraction, or whatever, or not, I think there's a lot of stock in saying that if you go… any kind of action leads to some kind of a reaction, and you might say, “Oh, me going out there and just saying, ‘Hey, I'll work for free. I just want do the thing that I love because that's going to get me opportunities.'”
I think really what's happening is, is people are going out there and just creating opportunities so that when they've been super helpful and when somebody needs somebody to do that thing, they go, “Oh, this is the person. They've been super helpful.” Yeah, I think just that's exactly what you need to do. Do you think that your situation pushed you to do that? Or is that something that you would have done anyway?
Dr Dan: Well, it's funny. I always say like, if you want to be successful, have more kids, because every time I had a kid, I had a leap and bound from success. I was struggling, had my first kid and be like, “Oh, crap, got to do it now,” right? And then I was like, “Okay, now having another kid, got to do it really now.” And then the third kid, “All right, no messing around. It's time to get even and really increase that.”
Tony: Okay.
Dr Dan: So hopefully, maybe I can do it with dogs instead now. I don't know. Get another dog instead of more kids because I don't know if I want more than three right now.
Tony: I can see people writing and saying, “I've had a kid and it didn't change my financial situation for the better. I'm holding you responsible. So disclaimer, having additional children does not guarantee income, your results may vary.”
Dr Dan: Exactly. There was another point I was also… another story I was going to actually share as well, because again, I've used this so many different ways. Another one, I used it when I was creating my first online course. What I did was, again, I bought a bunch of other courses on how to do it, on how to sell courses. I spoke to other successful course creators and back then, there weren't a lot of course creators out there. We didn't have all the new tools and cool things to simplify that you have today. You have all these services like Teachable, or Thinkific, and Kajabi.
Tony: Udemy.
Dr Dan: And you have all these WordPress plugins, and things that you can purchase, and you have Stripe and shopping cart services that combine everything. Back then it was like, “Oh, we got PayPal,” and you got to make that work with something. And it was a big pain in the butt. Basically, we had to walk to school, in the snow, barefoot, uphill, both ways, right? Uphill, both ways. It was a lot harder, so… And there wasn't YouTube videos teaching this stuff for free, there was nothing like that. So I hired some people, I bought some courses, talked to a few people and learned the hard way, but I learned everything that I could, I consumed everything that I could and then I created my first course using the strategies and using what I had learned.
And the first course I made, ended up doing over $100,000 and we turned that into a successful multimillion dollar company, empire that we have today, which, Tony you're part of. So you can attest to that, right?
Tony: Yep. Still rocking.
Dr Dan: Exactly.
Tony: Amazing.
Dr Dan: Yeah. So I've used this in so many different ways. Another one is bartering services. Maybe you're an expert in something already, or you can offer a service to somebody. I use this all the time. When I do it, I don't do it with the expectation that I'm going to get something back. I do it as a pay it forward, kind of way where I know if I do something nice for somebody else, they're more than likely going to do something nice back for me, but I don't expect it. So if they do it great, if they don't, whatever. I still…
Tony: [crosstalk] expectations. You're not disappointed then, are you?
Dr Dan: Exactly. Because, you know what I mean? Again, we all understand. I mean, I understand, we understand human nature. Human nature is when somebody says, thank you to you, what do you expect? You're expected to say something. I mean, you're taught, as long as you're raised right. You're taught to say, “You're welcome.”
Tony: Yeah.
Dr Dan: Or something along those lines, a lot of people go, “No problem. Don't mention it.” Which, I always cringe when I hear those. I teach my kids like, “Always say, ‘You're welcome,' back. Don't say, ‘No problem. You shouldn't have…'”
Tony: Yeah. Don't [crosstalk] the thanks.
Dr Dan: Yeah. It's like shooing their way. I call it being a greedy giver. You're like, “Oh, I'll say thank you, but you can't say… When you say, thank you, I'm going to say, thank you back. And then we're in this thank you war. ‘No, thank you.', ‘No, thank you.', ‘No, thank you.' No, my pleasure.', ‘No, it's all my pleasure.', ‘It's not your pleasure, it's all mine.'” I mean, what's up with that? Right?
Tony: No pleasure for you.
Dr Dan: Yeah. So bartering services is another thing you can do, and I love using this strategy. I use it all the time. It's really cool as I have the private cell phone number for some of the top experts in all kinds of different industries and fields, because I've offered to help them for free and never asked for anything in return. It just always happens. I'm like, “Hey, I can help you with some of the strategies that you're using online. I noticed you have a YouTube channel, you have a million followers on there, subscribers, and yeah, people following you, but I noticed that you're not selling anything.” Or, “I noticed that you are selling a course, but you're selling it too cheap.” Or, “I noticed that you have this coaching program, but you do it one-on-one and you can do group coaching as well. I'd be happy to give you some tips and some pointers on that stuff,” because I've done it for over 10 years now. I've been doing those things, right?
For the coaching parts, actually, I've been doing it for over 15, 16 years now, right? So I've been doing those things. Group coaching, not so much, but the group coaching about 10 years now, 10, 11 years, maybe 12. But these are things that I've done, so I can actually help them with those different things. So sometimes it's something as stupid as like, “Hey, I notice on your website, on your WordPress blog that your plugin is disabled, or it's expired or there's a broken link on there, or one of your images aren't showing up. Well, I understand how to fix those things because I've had to do it on my own site.”
So those are things that I've offered. I've been like, “Hey, if you don't know how to do it, I'll be happy to help you with it. No cost whatsoever, I just really love your message, your mission, what you're doing for people and I really enjoy your content, and I'd love to help you out for no cost, no expectations.” And the first thing that they do after I talk to them in person… They're not in person, but via Zoom, or Skype, or something like that, or FaceTime, or on the phone, they're like, “Hey, anything I could ever do for you, just let me know. Any questions you have, I'll be happy to help you,” because they're so overjoyed that you took the time to help them out, and that you gave them all these compliments, and that you liked their stuff.
So it's always worked out for me when I was able to do something like that for people. And all of a sudden, again, I have experts at my disposal. Not that they're required to be at my disposal, not that I'm paying them or anything like that, but because I continuously help them. When they have a question, they're like, “Hey Dan, what do you think about this?” Or, “Hey Dan, have you heard about that? What do you think this would do for my business?” And I'm like, “Yeah, I think you should, or you shouldn't, or I think this is great, or here's a person you can contact.” So we're all part of each other's network now because of that, and we respect each other, and we help each other along.
So this is something that you can do and I'm sure, Tony, you belong to a bunch of masterminds, whether they're paid masterminds, whether they're coaches that you pay for, or whether it's just a friend that's also very successful, that you guys help each other out, or… It's so easy now. Now, we have Facebook groups, which we didn't have back then, where you can join groups in different industries and you could make friends on there, and like-minded individuals where you guys all like the same stuff, and all can help each other with the same stuff.
You have all these resources at your disposal now, which is just insane. I mean, I can't imagine. If I had the same tools that we have today when I first started, oh my God, just looking back, I had my own personal training business back in the early or the late '90s, mid to late '90s where I'd go to people's houses and I'd train them at gyms, and I'd train them at their house, at my house, and we didn't have the internet that we have today.
We didn't have Facebook the way we have today, we didn't have YouTube, we didn't have TikTok, we didn't have Instagram, we didn't have any of that stuff. And even though it sucks looking back that we didn't have any of those tools, back then, I knew that's what I wanted to do even though those tools didn't exist. And now you have those available to you. I mean, there's no excuse. There's no excuse to get out there and just be successful at whatever it is you want to do.
Tony: There really is no excuse, but people make them, don't they? And they go, “Oh, it's easy for you because…” and all that sort of thing.
Dr Dan: No, it's never easy for anybody. It's just we do the hard things. I mean, back then, I used to get up at 5:00 in the morning, 5:30 in the morning, even though I hate mornings, and I hate waking up early.
Tony: Yep.
Dr Dan: And to this day now, I wake up at 9:00 AM, usually, but back then I used to wake up at 5:00, 5:30, and me and the wife would get up, and we would listen to Tony Robbins, and he has magic hour thing that you listen to where it's like, you chant these messages out, this mantra as you're walking, saying, “Oh, I need is within me now.” So we'd be walking down the street screaming this at the top of our lungs. Now, fortunately, well, we timed it out perfect when we do the screaming part. It would actually be when we lived in our condos and apartments that we lived at. There was this field that was across the street from us. And we would get to that point when it was time to scream.
But a couple of times that we were in my parents' neighborhood and it wasn't early, early in the morning, but we screamed it as well. And we were just thinking like, can you imagine if we ever meet some of these neighbors, down the street, and they're like, “Hey, have you ever heard this person screaming?” And you're like, “Oh yeah, that's me.”
Tony: “Oh, yeah. That's totally me. Yeah.”, “Are you in some kind of a cult?”
Dr Dan: Yeah. But you got to be willing to do the things that others aren't, so you can have the things that others won't, right?
Tony: 100%.
Dr Dan: Yeah. And it's not that they shouldn't have those things or they couldn't have those things, it's just, you have to do the things that will make you successful. We do these morning cold plunges where we jump in this freezing cold water that gets our mind right and gets our head right. It's like a form of meditation and it's also super healthy for you, and we'll get into that in another discussion, right? The Wim Hoff stuff, which we've discussed before. But doing those things, going on morning walks, we do that still today. Me, and my wife, and my son, we go on morning walks every morning together and we talk about inspiring things, or I'll listen to something inspiring while we do it.
We just have a great time doing that, connecting, earthing, getting out in nature and doing that, working out, exercising, eating healthy, counting our calories is what we do, because I want to be healthy. And these are the things, and it's not easy, but you know what? It beats being depressed, and sitting in my chair, and being fat and lazy and just hating life, right?
Tony: Yep. 100%. I think, the easy things, they never work out for what you want. If you haven't got a plan, then you'll end up following somebody else's plan, and that's usually to make you fat, and miserable, and depressed, and dependent on them, and all that sort of thing, whether that's an individual, or whether that's some kind of corporation, or anything down that rabbit hole. Yeah, I mean, all the things that you want is on the other side of discomfort. I've heard that said lots of different ways, but 100% believe it. The quality of your life is down to how many uncomfortable conversations you're willing to have. I've heard that one as well.
So everything you want is on the other side of discomfort. But I did see a really great video, and it was this old, Jewish chap. I think he was maybe a rabbi or religious chap of some type, I'm not up there with my knowledge on religions, I've got to say. But this guy, he was talking about how a lobster knows it's time to grow because it feels the discomfort of the shell that it's in. So it grows the shell and then it grows inside the shell until it fits it, until it fills it, and then it starts to feel cramped and tight. So it scurries off and it finds a rock to go under, somewhere safe. And it sheds that old shell and then a new one forms, but it has to wait, because it's all soft, the new one underneath.
And so it has to wait until it gets harder, and then it can emerge out. And that one's bigger because it's expanded, and then it's gotten hard, and it's bigger. And then it knows it's time to grow because it feels the discomfort. I'm sure if you Google it… Hey, I'll find it and will put it in the notes even. But when you look at it, it makes absolute sense what this guy is saying. He's like, “You know that it's time to grow when you start to feel the discomfort.” So maybe any uncomfortable things that are happening, maybe it's just an alarm clock that you're on the other side of growth. And maybe when you're doing something that's uncomfortable, it's just, hey, a signal, that you're on the other side of growth. You know, when you're playing a video game, that you're going in the right direction, because you keep coming up against all these obstacles and these enemies and level bosses and stuff, and that's when you level up.
Dr Dan: Yeah. Everybody always says like, “Oh, I wish everything was easy.” And I still say that sometimes because I'm human.
Tony: Uh-huh(affirmative).
Dr Dan: And I also want things easy sometimes. But if things were easy and things were just handed to you, you get bored really quick. And I know it's hard to conceptualize that without experiencing it, but I've experienced it, and I was one of those people, that people told me like, “Oh, those are just stuff.” Like, “Oh, I want this luxury car. I want this $100,000 car. I want this 4000, 5000 square foot home. I want all these cool things. I want a diamond watch,” right? “I want a Rolex. I want all these different things.” And those are the things that I wanted at the time.
And people were like, “Oh, I just call that stuff and it won't make you happy.” And I'm like, “Yeah, I'll feel happier. It's easy for you to say because you got those things.” But yeah, just like that, when I got there, I was like, “Actually, they were right. That's just stuff. I got it, now what?” It was like, you get to that point, you're like, “Now what?” It doesn't fulfill you. And sometimes it takes you getting there to actually fully understand it, until you're living it yourself.
Tony: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr Dan: Yeah, you don't want to just make it everything about those materialistic things. There's more important things in life, for sure.
Tony: I definitely find myself saying things like, “Oh, well, when I've got this camera, I'll be able to shoot great videos. I'll make great videos.” And then, “Oh, well, I need these lights,” or, “I need a drone. I need this.” And the reality is, it's all about the content, really. And you think, “Oh, well, this is wrong, that's wrong, the other thing's wrong.” Now, if you were going to make great videos, you would make it on your phone, or you'd ask a friend to film you, or something. If you really wanted to do it, you'd find a way. But instead you're going, “Oh no, it's just that thing.” Really, it just feels like you're making progress because you're buying things, but you're not making progress at all doing that. So, yeah, and-
Dr Dan: Yeah. [crosstalk], that's a whole nother discussion right there because that's what I call cleaning your desk. It's just making excuses because, I could tell you, 100%, that everything you just said I actually did, and I said to myself. And none of it actually helped. I have four different, high-end cameras that I bought and none of them helped me make videos better or quicker, or even do them, right? I still made the same excuses after finally buying them. I have two gimbals. I actually put in the corner over here two gimbals. I'm like, “Oh, I have a gimbal and I'll hold it when I'm walking.”
Tony: Yeah, that is steady cam. Yeah.
Dr Dan: Yeah. And I was like, “Okay, well, I bought two gimbals and neither of them made me make videos.” It made it actually a little harder because they're harder to learn. I bought a drone and I'm like, “Oh, I'll make more videos.” Yeah, I did make a couple cool videos, but I still haven't used it in two years now. Yeah, so none of those things… Some things can make it easier, but again, like you said, grab your iPhone, maybe get a lapel microphone or a little plug in mic that's better than the built-in one and make a video. Do something. I mean, the iPhones are a lot better now. That is one thing that's different because back then, we were using flip cams, the Codex [ZIA] flip cams, if you remember those, because part of that-
Tony: I really wanted one of them.
Dr Dan: Yeah, we had a couple of them, and we had this little RockStar studio gear package that leaves little handle on [inaudible] L bracket we used to hold onto it. We had a little microphone that went on top, and then we had two lapel microphones, we used a splitter, and we would have one on me, one on my partner, Ben. And we would do videos that way as well. We had a little light set up on top of it. So that was back then before the iPhones were actually good enough to make videos. And today, the iPhones are so good, and actually all the smartphones, a lot of them are so good today that you really don't need a DSLR or some other kind of camera.
Just do it on what you got, make some videos. And especially now today with YouTube and TikTok, people are normalized to non-perfect, broadcast, quality videos. The more polished you are, the more you seem like you're, oh, you're CNN, or Fox, or something like that, right? Like, I don't trust you. You're too perfect.
Tony: Yeah. If you're polished and perfect, they're like, “Oh, you're trying to sell me something.” Whereas I'm seeing now, TV commercials where it's like, whichever celebrity has been paid to use this hair dye or whatever, they're filming on their phones going, “Oh, hey guys, I'm just about to color my hair.” And I'm like, “Yeah, no, you don't color your hair with that.” But yeah. So they're trying to replicate this normal to just be low res quality kind of thing, definitely trying to normalize that. Yeah.
Dr Dan: So I think the big question here for everybody is kind of a takeaway, right?
Tony: Yeah.
Dr Dan: How can people use this in their life today? How can our viewers… people that are watching this right now, how can you use this in your business, in your life? Whether it be… whatever it is that you want to do, maybe you want to write a book, maybe you want to start a YouTube channel, or a TikTok account or something like that, or you want to… I don't know what it is. Maybe you just want to get healthier. I don't know. Whatever it is that you want to do in your life, the first thing I would say is, is get out there and use one of the lessons that we just spoke about, right?
Whether it be bartering, offering your services for free, hiring a mentor, hiring a coach, whatever fits in your budget, and what you can make happen, get out there and do it. And also don't hesitate. Don't say, “Okay, next week, when I have more time,” or, “Next month, I'll have more time and I'll have more energy at that time.” It's like, no, do it now. When would now be a good time, right? Now. Right? What time is it, now time? Which means do it now, send out an email, send out some text messages, join some Facebook groups or so many different Facebook groups today and find where those other people are hanging out or somebody to help you and just get started, get pointed in the right direction, and start doing something today. Don't hesitate, right?
Tony: 100%. Just take the action, get going, talk to anyone who's got those results that you want. Yeah, everything Dan just said. So I'd love to hear in the comments below, down there, what are you going to be doing? What are you working towards? We'd love to hear. We're genuinely interested and we genuinely invested in your success. That's why this channel exists, isn't it, Dan?
Dr Dan: Yep. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, we've got other things we could be doing, but…
Tony: Yeah. For me, it's 20 past 11:00 at night, and I'm here talking, doing this, because I love it so much and I love having an impact. And for me, it's the ripple effect. For me it's like, “Well, if I help one person, what impact does it have on their lives and the people around them, and the people that they may not even think that they're impacting?” And it just goes on, and on, and on and that's probably another topic for another day. But when people are saying, “Oh, well, who am I to help? Who am I to be telling people how to do something? Or who am I to be putting myself out there?” Well, who are you not to be doing it? Because these people are waiting to hear from you with your voice. So yeah, maybe that's what's holding you back. So we'd love to hear about all those things down in the comments and obviously we're going to ask you to like this video, subscribe to the channel, and of course hit the notification bell.
Dr Dan: Awesome. Yeah. And also be sure to head over to rockstarinlife.com and we'll have some cool stuff, some freebies, some things like that, going on over there, a place also for you to ask questions. If you want us to cover a topic on the show, or if you want us to answer your question on the show, we're going to start adding those kinds of things as well and eventually we might start doing live streams as well. So we're playing around with a bunch of different things and so you can just get out there and help more people because, me helping other people actually inspires me to do more for myself as well. It gets me in this higher vibration to where it gets my creative juices flowing, and all of a sudden I have ideas for other businesses, other products, other things that I'm putting together that…
It's real easy for me to just sit on my recliner chair behind me and just watch a show or something, or just get bored and be like, “I don't feel like doing anything today,” right? But when I forced myself to do something like this, to help others to share the successes and the things, and the formulas, and the recipes, and the things that I figured out myself, and help other people out there, it just puts my vibration at a whole different level when all of a sudden I'm like, “Yeah, I'm thinking of other stuff,” right?
Tony: Yep. Totally. I've got to say… Now, this is the thing. I mentioned it's 20 past 11:00 at night for me here. Well, these sessions fill me up. It's almost like getting warmed up to do a workout, but then not doing the workout, or it's getting all excited and ready for something, and then not doing it. So for me now, when I go home, I'm going to be like, “Hey Gem, blah, blah, blah.” And she'll be like, “Dude, I'm trying to go to sleep, shut up. We've got to get up in the morning with Pepper,” who's two by the way. “We've got to get up. We've got a full day of it.” So yeah, this benefits us as much as hopefully you watching as well.
Dr Dan: I love it.
Tony: I love it.
Dr Dan: All right. Well, until next time, don't forget to be a RockStar in your life and make the world your stage.
Tony: And remember (singing). Have a good one everyone.
Dr Dan: Love it.
Be a RockStar In Your Life.
& Make The World Your Stage!
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