In this episode, we discuss how to regain our power and be a beacon of light for the children during this plague of school shootings that have the children not wondering if it will happen to their school, but when will it happen. It’s easy to feel powerless in these times. But you have more power than you realize. Become a beacon of light in your child’s life, for the kids in your child’s school, discover how to spark change in your community and the world. Each of us can make a difference, and it's our responsibility to do so.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
Resources (if any) will be here 🙂
Transcript: (Read Time: 29 Minutes)
Siri Shakti: Welcome to the RockStar in Life podcast, where you learn the secrets to unleashing your inner rockstar, so you can make the world your stage.
Siri Shakti: What's up RockStars in Life? It's Siri Shakti and I have my co-host here.
Dr. Dan: Dr. Dan.
Siri Shakti: All right guys. Well today we're going to be talking about-
Dr. Dan: First off-
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: … be sure to say hello, because you weren't here last week.
Siri Shakti: Oh that's right. Yes.
Dr. Dan: You were sick.
Siri Shakti: I was sick. I lost my voice.
Dr. Dan: Oh you were not sick, you were cleansing.
Siri Shakti: I was cleansing.
Dr. Dan: Yeah.
Siri Shakti: Actually, I really was cleansing. Yes. I'm doing so much better now, but I had lost my voice. So I went into the room to record and I'm like, I very quietly whispered, “I don't think I can do this.”
Dr. Dan: Yeah. I thought it'd be fun but I want you coughing all over me, so I figured I'd do it without you.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. I think that was a good call.
Dr. Dan: Nice. All right. Well that was the lighter side, so let's get into the serious talk.
Siri Shakti: Yes. Yeah. So today we're going to be talking about something that is very fresh in people's minds all around the United States right now, and that's because we have so much of this going on. Let me just put out there before I explain what we're going to be talking about today, I find it very sad that we even have to discuss this, but we're going to discuss these school shootings that have been going on with … It seems like they're happening more frequently now.
Dr. Dan: Yeah.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Yeah. So it's not good.
Siri Shakti: No. No, it's not. You know the thing about this is that when you get on the news you listen to people talking about it, and people like to point fingers in different directions. The truth is, is that there's not just one reason why this is happening, right?
Siri Shakti: I mean I know we discussed that earlier, it's easy to say, “It's just gun control” but it's not just that. There's other things that this is all stemming from and that's just on the surface, you know?
Dr. Dan: Yeah. There's a lot more to it obviously.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: It takes a lot of ingredients to bake this kind of a crap cake, I should say.
Siri Shakti: Big time. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: And we're not here to discuss who's fault it is, or we need stricter gun control or we need more guns, or we need less guns, or we need to train the teachers in hand-to-hand combat, we need to give them grenades, we need to put collars on kids so if they do something you can press a button and their head explodes.
Siri Shakti: Oh, that's an interesting solution.
Dr. Dan: Like in the movie Running Man when they run too far past the barricades or whatever, the thing, when they try and run away then their head explodes off their head or anything like that.
Dr. Dan: So we're not here to solve those things right now because I mean on Facebook I constantly see and social media I constantly see people arguing back and forth like, “Don't take my guns away.” Or, “You should take away the guns.” “You should do this. You should do that.”
Dr. Dan: That's great, I mean it starts a conversation and there's some great ideas out there, but man, people just keep arguing and fighting like they're going to solve it between those two people.
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: They're going to convince those people that are unconvincible right now in this moment when we should not be spending as much time trying to argue with people that just do not see the sky is blue.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: They've got purple glasses on, or green sunglasses on, and they think the sky is green. While you can sit there and yell and scream and say, “You've got glasses on.” They're like, “No I don't.” Because they were born with those glasses and that's the color they see, so that's what they believe. Their beliefs are their beliefs.
Dr. Dan: So instead of spending all that time arguing with those people, let's go to a solution, and part of the solution is to be a light for the children, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: To be more aware of what's going on in their lives. I mean take an active role, and it's never too late, obviously starting early is even better. For us, our children are homeschooled. We've talked about this plenty of times and this is one of the biggest reasons is not because of school shootings, but because of we understand, because we were kind of lost in the system, you know?
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr. Dan: It's kind of like waking out of the Matrix where you realize you're in a computer program and it's just never the same again. When you wake up and realize, one big indicator for me was, I was not really doing my work. I would go through my tests and I would on the Scantron thing I would do go like, “A-B-B-C-C-A-B-D-A” and just go through it at the normal pace because I just didn't want take the test and I couldn't focus.
Dr. Dan: And because I couldn't focus and I couldn't study, a lot of things it felt like it was the struggle in my head that I would just skip all that stuff and I wouldn't do my homework. It was difficult for me to focus and to concentrate, and to be able to do that stuff, and I saw no point in it, and they still passed me.
Siri Shakti: Wow.
Dr. Dan: It was like, you just kind of felt like you just woke up and you're just like, “They're not really here to really help me.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: It's more like babysitting. It's like no different than them turning on the television, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: And saying, “Go sit next to the next electronic babysitter.” That's pretty much what school was for me.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. That's such a good point because I've talked so many parents about this type of-
Dr. Dan: And it's gotten worse. Yeah.
Siri Shakti: … subject over the years. Some kids thrive in that type of setting, but I'd say more kids don't.
Dr. Dan: But they would thrive regardless because they're just naturally great students in the way they're taught.
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: In the program or whatever you call it, the style of teaching, they would progress in anything. They don't even need a teacher because they're just naturally great at that.
Dr. Dan: It's like throwing a basketball at a kid that's got natural talent and all of a sudden they just keep practicing, and they just keep … All of a sudden they're slam dunking and they're like one of the best. It's not because they had that one teacher or something that taught them to be naturally gifted, you know?
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah. I think that also goes with the social aspect of school, how some kids thrive in a school setting, in a large number with a lot of kids, and then others just feel lost in it and they keep to themselves.
Siri Shakti: My inclination is that a lot of these kids that are causing these school shootings kind of fall into that category of maybe kind of being loners or different, and keeping to themselves. Because I know I've heard a little bit about some of the teens that actually cause the shootings.
Dr. Dan: Well it reminds me of a great story that I remember. It's one of those stories that I've got a few of them in my head that I go back to constantly. I do this in my own head where it reminds me of decisions I make. It kind of helps shape my life and keep me on track.
Dr. Dan: One of them was the story, and I'm sure you probably remember, I know you've heard it at least once where there was this man and he was walking along the stream, and he all of a sudden saw somebody gasping and screaming for help in the water, they were drowning. They're like, “Help, help, help, help.”
Dr. Dan: So he goes and grabs a rope and throws it. There's a rope there and he throws it, and the person grabs it, and he's wheeling him in, right, wheeling him in? Then all of a sudden he gets that one person out of the water. He gets him to the shore, and they thank him.
Dr. Dan: Then all of a sudden he sees another one, and then he throws another rope, the same rope. He's pulling that person in. Gets that person in. All of a sudden now there's two people drowning, and he's grabbing a rope and throwing them out to them, and trying to save them, and it's just one after another, after another. He just keeps trying to save them one by one, by one, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: So he's trying to save one by one, instead of just walking up the stream and seeing what's causing all these people to fall into the water?
Siri Shakti: Oh wow!
Dr. Dan: Like, what is the cause of this that's forcing this to happen, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: Because you could fix it at the source, and if you fix it at the source then you're not going to have that same thing happen down the stream.
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: You know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah, absolutely.
Dr. Dan: In this analogy, he could've given the rope to the people that he just saved and said, “Hey keep saving these people, and a couple of you come with me and let's figure out what's going on down there and let's try and stop this.”
Siri Shakti: Yes, leverage the efforts.
Dr. Dan: Let's figure out how it's going.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Leverage the efforts, right?
Dr. Dan: I mean this is really simple for me, I mean in my life I assess the situation constantly in my life where I'll walk ahead if I see something, and I walked ahead to see what's going on, opposed to just assuming. A better example for what I'm getting to is that it's not about a reactionary, let's have stricter gun laws, let's do this, let's take away all the guns, let's do all these things. Yes, those things need to happen.
Siri Shakti: Right. Yes, it does.
Dr. Dan: I'm not disagreeing with that, but in the meantime, we also have to take some, not responsibility, but we need to volunteer. We need to be a light for good. We need to put our hands up and say, “You know what, what else can I do?”
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: Instead of just sitting back and being like a backseat driver and screaming at the people that are supposed to be steering the ship, right?
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: And say like, “The lawmakers, and the people in the government, and all these people.” Yes, do that but you have to also look at all the angles. You have to look at the source. You have to look at while I'm doing that, what else can I do? That stems with the children.
Dr. Dan: The children are the ones that are doing this. The kids are actually making the decision to grab a gun and go shoot up and this can happen anywhere. So what can you do to help prevent this?
Dr. Dan: It's starting with your own children, with your children's friends, with your family's children. If everybody, obviously not every single person, it'd be great if every single person in this world would raise their hand and say, “Yes I'll do that” but we all you need a license to drive a car, right? You need a license to drive a car. You need a license to fricking fish. You need a license to go hunt, but any asshole can have a kid, right?
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: So if anybody can have a child, that they can a parent-
Siri Shakti: Oh boy.
Dr. Dan: … but not everyone can actually raise a child.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: They can, they're capable, but will they? Not everyone will. So this is where you come in.
Siri Shakti: The way that I like to look at it is, and this is how I've always related to my children's friends, and whenever there with us, let's say if I'm at my daughter's dance studio and I'm around her, the young people, the teens and the junior high kids, and elementary school kids, I always feel like when I am in their presence that I watch after them.
Siri Shakti: Not that I am their parent, but I keep an eye out. I pay attention. I kind of place myself into that role of being like a protector in a way. I feel like if more of us kind of have that way of stepping into those shoes, then when you're at your child's school, or even when you're just picking them up from school, or you're participating and helping out, pay attention to what's going on.
Siri Shakti: You can begin to pick up on how people are feeling and what's going on with kids, with parents, with teachers, and get a sense of where they're at. I'm not going to say this is always going to solve everything but this is our way of taking back some of our personal power of having our eyes wide open and paying attention.
Siri Shakti: If you are noticing that there is a young person that is struggling, or doesn't have friends, or is hanging out with the wrong group, or whatever situation, and you don't feel like they're getting the help that they need, that's what you're talking about, right Dan, about being the light?
Dr. Dan: Yeah. I mean there's no one solution other than saying being the light and taking some kind of step. Whether it be creating some kind of afterschool program, you know?
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr. Dan: Whether it be having some call-in center where people can call when they're having challenges. It's really easy to fall into this because I know both of us have been a victim of this. We've also been the bully in this as well, where it's easy, especially when you're a child, it's easy to pick on somebody else and joke around.
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: Heck even today, I mean even at our ages now we joke around with people, we tease. We tease each other in our own family-
Siri Shakti: Yes, we do.
Dr. Dan: … and we get angry. I mean we don't take it beyond, obviously.
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: It's not something that is a running joke, constantly every day and we just tease you to the point where you're in tears or anything like that. It's too easy, especially when you're a child. When I say, “A child”, I'm talking about you could be a teenager in school, even adult children, right?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Adults do this to each other too, and it's really easy though in high schools and stuff where they'll tease each other, make fun of each other, and bully and things like that. It's like, “This needs to stop.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: You know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: The bullying. The bullying needs to stop. Nobody's saying to stop having fun, but you know when you've taken it too far.
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: We need to have more compassion. I know it's more difficult for children and teenagers to have that compassion, so as parents we need to teach our children this compassion, and we need to look as other children as our children because we all need to live on this earth together. We're all responsible for each other, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: If you truly want to protect your children then this is the way to go. If you hear of a child that's struggling, and if you don't hear of a child that's struggling then you need to be asking. You need to be looking. We don't need every single person to do something, but be that person, because if we yelled into a crowd of a 100 people and said, “Who here is willing to volunteer to be a person, a beacon of light. To be somebody that's going to help other children out and not just think of themselves?”
Dr. Dan: We asked a 100 people, “Who is willing to help?” At first, we might get two or three hands that go up. Then we might get 10. Then we might get 20. It might stop at 20 or 30, and there's going to be 70 people that don't raise their hand, and either think to themselves, “I really don't feel like doing it.”
Dr. Dan: Or, “They have enough volunteers already and if they need more they'll tell me to do it.” That's fine, but if you're one of those people that would raise your hand first, then be that person. Don't wait for others to do it. Start looking for solutions. Start asking other parents, “What can we do besides, besides fight for stricter gun laws?” Require the age to be 25 to get a gun.
Dr. Dan: Now in this case, in this last case of this Texas shooting that wouldn't have made a difference, from what I read at least, the initial reports, I haven't looked at it since then because I'm not about to sit there and take on even more negativity, but I read that he took his father's gun or something like that, a parent's gun.
Dr. Dan: So yes, stricter gun laws, 25. Yeah, that people would say, “Well that wouldn't have helped.” Yeah, well you also need stricter laws if somebody, one of your family members takes your guns. So you need to lock up your guns and hide that key where no one knows where it is.
Dr. Dan: There a lot of things that we can do but those are going to be a tougher battle. They're going to be a lot tougher to get those things to change. Yes, you should put energy into that, but should also put energy into the children, because they're the ones that are making the decision to do this.
Dr. Dan: They're the ones that are making the decision to pick and bully on other kids, which is nothing new, this has been going on forever, but now all of a sudden there's this fad going on, because it is turning into like a contagious, toxic virus where they're looking at that as like, “Oh here's a solution. I can just do this then people will fear me. People will respect me in a way.” In their own in their own head they're thinking something like that.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: “I'll show them.” You know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah. You know, the first thing I think about when I think of these young people that are doing this, I mean I cannot even fathom the amount of suffering that they must feel to partake in that kind of action. I do remember, not this last shooting, but the one before that, I forgot where that was, but I do remember they were talking about, because they were interviewing some of the survivors, and they were saying that there were warning signs, that this student had acted out and was getting into trouble.
Siri Shakti: And so, this is what I'm talking about, these are the things that we have to pick up on. We have to, like you were saying, be that beacon of light. Help in some way to intervene and find solution for this person if you're starting to see some warning signs.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, I mean I did read as well, the parent of this kid that did this, that they said like, “Oh this is totally unlike them. There was no warning signs.” Well if there's no warning then you're not paying attention.
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: I'm not here to put blame at that person-
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: … but they should have been paying attention. This is a wake-up call for all of us, like I said. We're all children on this earth, we're all part of this earth, I should say, we're not all children, but we're all part of this earth, and we all have to look out for each other. No more of this divide, where here's this imaginary border, if you cross this we'll kick you out and send you somewhere else. So this is the step where you need to be there for others.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Yeah I mean and you now see, for instance these teens, do they have a specific name for their group, how they're protesting?
Dr. Dan: I don't remember.
Siri Shakti: You don't remember? Okay.
Dr. Dan: There's something.
Siri Shakti: You see in large numbers across the country they're standing up and they're trying so hard to get change to happen. When we see this stuff happening in our society, this is a huge red flag that is trying to show all of us things need to change, because what is going on right now in our society, and the way that we're educating kids, it is so not working, obviously or we wouldn't be having these issues. I think what we're really trying to say here is, we all have to look at ourselves in the mirror and see, “What power do I have in this situation?”
Dr. Dan: “What can I do?”
Siri Shakti: “What can I do?” Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Yeah. “What can I do?”
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Instead of just saying, “Oh it's all just going to be solved by the politicians changing the laws, and this and that” which like you were saying, it does need to happen, but that's like saying you have no power then. That you have no personal power in creating change, which is not true.
Dr. Dan: Yeah. No, that's like leaving all your doors open in your house and leaving a bunch of money at the front door, and then saying like, “Oh the cops will protect me.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: That ain't going to happen.
Siri Shakti: No.
Dr. Dan: The cops are not there to prevent the crime from happening. We would like to think they would be, but they don't have the manpower to just drive around your house all day while you leave your door open with money just sitting at the front doors and saying, “Come rob me.”
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: So yes, you need to be there for not only your children, but other people's children as well. We're not saying that you need to go father them, or mother them, or anything like that, but do something. This doesn't just go for people you know, I mean like I've said before, when you're at the grocery store and you have a bagger or a checker or somebody is having a tough day or something, smile, say something nice, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah, because it's so easy for us nowadays, especially with how busy we are, oh my gosh, I mean we're all so busy, right?
Dr. Dan: Yeah.
Siri Shakti: To just be so into ourselves. Oh and this was the other point that I wanted to make is that, when your kids are younger you drop them off, right? I always see a big line, everyone's dropping their kids off in the morning and picking them up and-
Dr. Dan: Just random places you mean-
Siri Shakti: Oh, from school.
Dr. Dan: … they just like drop them off, “Hey kids go there. Drop you off at this tree today.”
Siri Shakti: But I do see some parents get out and go to their kids. I personally encourage-
Dr. Dan: Are they allowed to get out though sometimes?
Siri Shakti: No, they are.
Dr. Dan: I thought, well at least in the movies they're like, “Keep it moving.”
Siri Shakti: No, no, they're allowed. I mean but they'd have to find a parking space and get out. So I understand that we're all busy, you my might not always be able to get out of your car and physically walk over, but there's a difference between quickly picking up your kid, then walking over, interacting with the people that are there, and being more in tune with who's in the school, or if you can't do that, like we were saying, get involved.
Siri Shakti: I mean I have some friends, some girlfriends that are super involved with their kid's school. They're always helping in classrooms, helping to put together activities. They know all the parents. They know the kids and that's-
Dr. Dan: Be involved in their life.
Siri Shakti: … awesome. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: We have two teenage children now, two teenage girls and Bodhi, our son, right?
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr. Dan: Yes, our daughters are more into their own things now.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: They're constantly on their phone. They're constantly listening to music, watching YouTube, and learning all kinds of things. Watching shows, and we don't even know fully what all shows they have because we don't have parental locks on things, right? But we like to trust them.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: We have conversations with them, and we talk about things. We let them know that they can always talk to us no matter what it is. Even if it's something uncomfortable, we might say like, “Ooh, I really don't want you watching that, so let's talk about that.”
Dr. Dan: Opposed to just like, “You're not allowed to watch this. I'm going to lock down everything you have.” Because I mean growing up, every child or every kid I knew that grew up with really strict parents they rebelled hard.
Siri Shakti: They all rebelled.
Dr. Dan: They were like the craziest. Crazy as doing the sneaking out and doing the worst stuff.
Siri Shakti: Oh yeah.
Dr. Dan: And so we don't want our children to be like that because yeah, they're going to figure out ways around everything you do, you know at some point?
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: I remember I was with our wifi, unable to lock it down per child's device. So I was able to lock it down I think at midnight. I said, “Okay well I'm going to lock down the wifi at midnight and-
Siri Shakti: I know what you're going to say.
Dr. Dan: … my daughter, Mayleena … I think you're the one that told me, “Oh she was listening to something on her phone or something I thought you turned off her wifi.” I was like, “Yeah.” She figured out the way around it, which was just turning off the other wifi on her phone and it was just using the cellphone signal instead, the data.
Dr. Dan: Then I came to her and I said, “Were you on your phone last night?” She's like “Yeah.” I was like, “Did you figure out how to get around the lock?” She's like, “Yeah.” I said, “Oh good for you. You that figured that out. I wondered how long it would take you. Can you do me a favor though? Can you go to bed by 1:00 and get off by midnight or whatever?”
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: So it's not, “You're in trouble. You figured this out. Now I'm going to figure out another way where I take her device away.” I'm not saying that you can't do that if they need to get up early in the morning for school, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: If that's the case then yeah, maybe you need to take their device out of their room at 10:00 p.m or 11:00, or whatever it is, Then those the rules that you're going to apply, but you don't want them sneaking around your back.
Dr. Dan: You want to have open dialogue, open conversations with them and know that they can come to you for whatever it is. They're going to rebel and they're going to do things, but this helps reduce that and they learn to trust you more. I mean our kids talk to us about everything.
Siri Shakti: Everything.
Dr. Dan: Everything.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Sometimes I'm like …
Dr. Dan: You're like, “Whoo.”
Siri Shakti: Sometimes like, “I can't believe we're talking about this, but I'm glad we are though.”
Dr. Dan: Well Bodhi, man, sometimes we were watching Billy Madison. We were watching that just a couple nights ago or yesterday, and there's a part in there where the teachers said, “We're going to read this book, My Sister Fanny.” All the kids started laughing because fanny is like a word for butt, and they're all laughing.
Dr. Dan: Then she goes, “Okay. Now kids …” These are supposed to be all first graders or second graders, or something, she goes, “Now kids turn to page 69.” None of the kids get it, but Billy Madison, who's an adult in that class, starts busting up, “Ha ha, 69.”
Dr. Dan: Then Bodhi's like, “I don't get it.” I was like, “It's an adult joke.” He goes, “Well tell me.” I said, “Are you sure you want to know because it's an adult sexual thing?” He's just like, “Well just tell me a little bit then I'll tell you if it's too gross.” I said, “Well it is going to be gross, so let me just say …”
Dr. Dan: He's like, “Okay. Nevermind.” I was like, “Well we'll talk about it when you're a little older.” So it's like, you have conversations where you don't pretend like, “Oh nothing. That's nothing.”
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: Because what's going to happen, he's old enough to go to Google, you know.
Siri Shakti: Oh my gosh, absolutely. I don't want him looking that up.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, and if it wasn't for Google, in my day and age, what did we do? We went and asked our friends. How much worse was that? Because one of our friends had a older brother or sister, and if they asked their brother, their brother probably would've said something even nastier. Then all of a sudden we get that, and then we think that's what the truth is, because we didn't have Google. I don't know what's worse, that or Google because you search, “What is 69?” Who knows what images you can come up.
Siri Shakti: Now I'm going to go check it out.
Dr. Dan: Yeah.
Siri Shakti: I think because now I'm curious.
Dr. Dan: Yeah. Be careful.
Siri Shakti: Oh my goodness. Yes, yes.
Dr. Dan: So bottom line is, be there for your kids. Loo for ways you can help plant seeds for other kids out there, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Whether it be maybe one of your kid's friends or you start a program at the school and you see a kid struggling. You invite them to be part of that program and they're still struggling. You see that they're interested in technology or something, get them involved in something that they can learn … Do something that they learn to love, or they would love to do.
Siri Shakti: Sure.
Dr. Dan: I remember when I started getting into computers I was like, “Oh this is awesome” and I loved it. If somebody would have came to me and said, “Hey let me show you how to do this. Let me teach you how to do that.” It would've been even cooler. Maybe they love to draw. Maybe you get them a course on how to draw or something, or you point them in the right direction.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Gosh, that's such a good point. If more of us are doing this I mean we are going to see such a big change, because I was just recalling when I was in high school and I went through a really hard time.
Siri Shakti: There were many days I would have my head down in class or I would say, “I need to go the bathroom.” I'd go and I'd hide in hallway and come back. My teacher could clearly see I had like tears in my eyes because a few times she asked me about it. Even though, a few of my teachers knew I was having problems, no one ever reached out to help me.
Siri Shakti: Nowadays I'm hoping, I'm assuming, I'm hoping that more these teachers are going to start reaching out to students that are struggling in this way. Now thankfully I was never, had the inclination to hurt others or be violent or anything, but I definitely was suffering in a major way.
Siri Shakti: If some teachers or a parent or something reached out to me to help me, I mean I was looking for help at that time. I wanted someone to reach out to me, so instead what I did is I ended up looking, since I wasn't getting that, I ended up hanging out with a group of teens that was just as much messed up as I was at the time. I don't know if the word, “Messed up” is the right way, but struggling in a similar way. We just ended up partying and trying to-
Dr. Dan: You guys were lost.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. We were lost. We were lost. Our way of hiding and disconnecting from our-
Dr. Dan: And numbing, numbing.
Siri Shakti: … our pain.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, numbing your pain.
Siri Shakti: … was to party a lot, a lot.
Dr. Dan: So you guys would just like dance, like party, dance?
Siri Shakti: Not like party like that.
Dr. Dan: I get it. I get it.
Siri Shakti: You know what I'm talking about? Yeah?
Dr. Dan: Yeah.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: So drink and do drugs and stuff like that?
Siri Shakti: Drink and do drugs. Okay, I'll just say it. Oh my goodness, yeah. Did drugs and drink a lot.
Dr. Dan: Now you're busted. We got you. Throw the cuff on her.
Siri Shakti: Did a lot of stuff.
Dr. Dan: You just admitted to it.
Siri Shakti: Thankfully, I did not have an addictive personality that I got lost in that. I do know a few people that I went to high school with that continued. In fact, there's this one kid who, his name was Jason, after high school he disappeared. The last time I heard that he was addicted to cocaine now. It's just so sad. So anyways, getting back to all this-
Dr. Dan: I have friends and family that went through similar things. Some that were, been shot and killed-
Siri Shakti: Yeah, see.
Dr. Dan: … for being in those similar types of situations where they just never found their way. They were lost from being a child all the way through.
Siri Shakti: That's right. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: One thing we do is, we teach our kids to be compassionate.
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr. Dan: Yeah. They're young and it's difficult. Actually the yogis say that it's not possible, right? That the children don't have compassion until they're how old again? Was it-
Siri Shakti: I don't-
Dr. Dan: … 20? 18 or 20?
Siri Shakti: No, it was around 18. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Yes, somewhere around there. The reason why is, because it's for survival, so they can survive. It's in their DNA.
Siri Shakti: Right.
Dr. Dan: That's not an excuse, that's just understanding that … I mean another way of putting it is, you can just say they're too immature until there are not, right?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: That's really no different than just saying they're too immature to truly care for others, so we need to help shape them. One thing we do with our children is, we teach them to kind of stand up for others, and not be a bully, and not hurt other people. That, “You don't like feeling like that so don't do to other people.”
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, they fight with each other, they're siblings, they get on each other's nerves. Just a couple of minutes ago we had to split up the kids and say, “You go to your room. You go to your room.” Then when this is over then we're going to come down and lay down the law.
Siri Shakti: We're going to regulate.
Dr. Dan: We're going to regulate. Teaching them to have that compassion and rewarding that.
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: Letting them understand that we all need to be in this world together, and we all need to be there for each other.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Also, that to have an open conversation, that if their peers are teasing somebody or whatever, making fun of someone that you try to be the one that's not partaking in that, which is not always easy. I know, I've been there myself, right?
Siri Shakti: You just kind of get caught up in it, you're with your friends, things like that, but if we're teaching our kids, and this is just like a constant open conversation that we're instilling in them, then over time they're going to start to become like that light as well.
Siri Shakti: A perfect example, Mayleena recently told me that so many of her friends at dance say to her like, “You're so nice. I feel like I can tell you anything.” They're always saying that about her because she is not one of the people that will talk about people behind their back and things like that, or tease people. They know that about her so they trust her. I've heard this from even other parents as well.
Dr. Dan: Well we've had her own kids tell us, “Don't say that about so and so. Be nice. Be nice to them.” Especially if somebody gives me attitude, if we're out or something and I'll mess with them. They're like, “Dad stop, stop.”
Siri Shakti: Yes. Well it's kind of funny you say that, a few months ago I was saying something about the Kardashians, and Mayleena's she's like, “You know, you're being very judgmental.” She's like, “All you know of them is what you know we see on TV. You don't really know them as a person.”
Siri Shakti: But you know, she made such a good argument, that ever since then I don't say anything bad about the Kardashians. She actually open my eyes that, you know what, good point, I don't know them. I mean all I know is what I see on TV. I'm not going to waste my energy judging another person.
Dr. Dan: Yeah. To be honest, and this is one thing that I tried to teach her as well is that they're just a brand.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: It's no different than McDonald pushing their burgers on everybody and other, alcohol and everything else out there that's not good for you, and they're branding themselves.
Siri Shakti: Yeah, and they're very good at it actually.
Dr. Dan: Yeah, they're very good. I don't agree with almost everything that they do-
Siri Shakti: Yeah, me too.
Dr. Dan: … but again, their branding and they've got a unreality show, right?
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr. Dan: That's not real, but they play it off like it's real so they can sell more of their brand.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Dan: And again we're there to teach our children and help guide them, but not to sit there and force them to be something that they're not. This just goes all the way back to being the force for good.
Siri Shakti: Yes.
Dr. Dan: Being the beacon of light for others and coming up with some solutions that can help the children, right?
Siri Shakti: Yeah, that's right.
Dr. Dan: To help reduce the things that are going on in this world, and to teach our children to also be a beacon of light.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. Well put.
Dr. Dan: Thank you. Well is there anything else you want to mention before we get to our RockStar mission for today?
Siri Shakti: No, that's it. I'm ready for the RockStar mission.
Dr. Dan: All right. Well before we do, we want to remind you to go to rockstarinlife.com for the resources, if we have any resources mentioned in this episode, the transcript. Download our free books, training, yoga, meditation, homeschooling advice and so much more that were constantly adding. Remember to go to rockstarinlife.com and join the RockStar in Life Revolution today.
Dr. Dan: Today's RockStar mission is really a simple one but it is super important, right?
Siri Shakti: Yeah.
Dr. Dan: What that is, is commit to being that beacon of light, that force for good, and helping your children and the children of this world, and everyone else to also see that light. To be there for them and help guide them.
Siri Shakti: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dr. Dan: That's everything we just talked about. Commit to doing that. It doesn't have to be if you're working two jobs and you're have a tough time or whatever, I mean at least be there for your child, you know?
Siri Shakti: Yes, yes. Yes at least do what we were saying, have open conversations, often, even if you can't be at their school find out more about what's going on. Talk to them about what they're doing, who they're interacting with, what's going on with other students? It's really opening up the conversation more than what we're already doing, you know?
Dr. Dan: Yeah. Look for things that you can do, and even if you have like two jobs, or you work a lot, or whatever, I mean spending time with your child, coming up with ideas, starting something online. I mean you can do that when you're on the toilet. You can do that when you're at your job a lot of the times. You know, what else you need to do, play Candy Crush or whatever the new hottest game is on your phone, right?
Siri Shakti: Candy Crush.
Dr. Dan: Instead, use that time for something else. Go to the school, come up with some ideas, even if you can't contribute your time maybe you can contribute some money, or you contribute your time if you can't contribute some money.
Dr. Dan: Maybe you can come up with the ideas, maybe you're the idea person. Put something together or spark that idea in your child or another person, a family member, a friend, another parent, spark that idea to where they start something that helps kids, right?
Siri Shakti: That's right. Yeah. Beautiful.
Dr. Dan: Awesome.
Siri Shakti: Yeah. All right guys, well don't forget not only to go out there and be that light, but don't forget to be a rock star in your life.
Dr. Dan: Make the world you stage.
Be a RockStar In Your Life.
& Make The World Your Stage!
If you love what you hear…
Please “Subscribe” to the Podcast
and leave some comment love on iTunes by using the “Rate and Review”
