Your thoughts become your reality which also includes the words you use on a daily basis. In today's episode we will be discussing this topic as well as How to be Confident (overcome limiting beliefs), Self Esteem – Your Opinion about yourself, How to Boost Your Self Confidence and much more.
Not only will we give real-world examples from our own lives but we will also give you real tools and strategies to overcome them! So don't miss a single second of this episode and be sure to share it with anyone else that needs to hear it so it can help them too. Sharing is caring 🙂
Resources Mentioned In This Episode:
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[Time Stamps]
Transcript: (Read Time: 1 hour 9 minutes)
Dr. Dan
Your thoughts and words become your reality. Hey, fellow rockstars Dr. Dan here, and in today's episode, we're gonna be covering that. We're also gonna be covering how to be confident, overcome those limiting beliefs that you might have self esteem your opinion about yourself, how to boost your self confidence. We're going to be covering all of that in today's episode. But before we do, let's roll that intro.
Welcome to the Rockstar in life Podcast, where you learn the secrets to unleashing your inner Rockstar. So you can make the world your standard.
Dr. Dan
Alright, let's get rockin with this. Tony, are you there?
Tony
Yes, Dan, I'm here.
Dr. Dan
Let's go. Love it. Love it. All right, well, today's episode, I'm really, really juiced and excited about this one, because again, it's one of those that I use in my life every single day. I feel like I'm constantly talking to my wife about this about my, with my kids, with my students, with with my coaching students and in the courses that we teach. And in the comment section of pretty much every everywhere that I am, I see this pop up all the time, how do I do this? How do I overcome this? How do I stop saying this or believe in this or believe in that? So I think this is a really important one, because I'm sure a lot of you probably heard where your focus goes, energy flows. And also your intention flows as well. And, Tony, I know you have heard that plenty times yourself. You're we're going to talk a little bit about that. Right?
Tony
Yeah, definitely the version that I know is where attention goes, energy flows and results show. And for me, the end bit the results show that's a key key part for it. Because everything comes from your thoughts and your feelings and your attention that you put on things. Absolutely. So I'm excited for today's episode. Let's go.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, yeah. No, that's, that's that's very, very true. Because Because again, yeah, your your attention, if you have your attention in the wrong places, then that's the kind of energy that you're going to be giving off. And it can feel like a constant struggle, because it is a constant struggle to be constantly telling yourself like, Oh, don't listen to this, don't listen to that, especially when it's inside your head, because there's going to be two primary influences that are going on when it comes to this, these negative beliefs or these negative words or thoughts or anything that you want to call it, whatever you want to call it, there's going to be internal influence, and there's going to be external influence. They're both pretty difficult to manage at least one of them, which would be the external influence, you can stop talking to that person, but it's gonna be a little bit more difficult to stop talking to yourself. What do you think Tony? Is? Is it hard to stop talking to yourself?
Tony
Yes, yes. Especially if you're me, I talk to myself all the time. And Gemma's nine in the office right now. But she sits over there. And I talk to myself constantly. While I'm working. And and I mean, that's just while I'm clicking right. Okay, so I'm going to do that I'm going to do that. There's that kind of self talk. But what we're, what we're on about today really is the kind of like, oh, you're such an idiot kind of self talk, aren't we? This stuff like, you know where this is going to be difficult? That sort of thing. So well. Yeah, I think I think we're really gonna help lots of people today. Definitely with the with this, I'd love to hear in the comments below. If you're watching actually, what what what kind of self talk you catch yourself saying to yourself too often, that's really interested in reading all those comments.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, and to be honest, I mean, I've spoken to to gurus and teachers and millionaires and billionaires, and I have yet to meet one person that doesn't struggle with this as well. So it's not like that, that you know, the more successful you become, or the more spiritual you become, or the more well leader you become, or whatever you want to call it, that you can all of a sudden not have those things going on in your own head, the external Yes, you have less of that, because you're willing to deal with less of that. And you kind of rid yourself have those negative, calm spiritual vampires in your life, because they don't really serve a purpose. So you know, I eliminate those but the internal part, it just a quiet, it's a little bit more and more, we'll kind of talk a little bit about that as well. But the first part I want you to understand is the reason why it feels so overwhelming in the beginning. Number one, you haven't learned how to not conquer it, but overcome it, to make it a little less noticeable to quiet it a little bit more because that part of you, it's a part of you first off, so it's hard to get rid of. It's actually it's impossible to get rid of fully. But don't worry, it's still good news. But that part of you, it knows all your weaknesses because it is part of you. It's an inside job. It's always trying to come Vince you that either you'll never overcome this or you're never good enough, or you're not smart enough, or you're dumb, or it'll reinforce that other people were right about you that you are dumb that you can't learn that you don't deserve this. Or that it's, it's somebody else's fault, you know that, oh, it's not your fault, it's their fault. Because when you were a kid, they used to be mean to you, or you got bullied or, or you know, or your parents, you know, they they, they physically or emotionally abused you. And I'm not saying that that isn't part that was a major influence that that, especially in your, you know, as you're growing, growing up the most influential time of your life, as you're growing, and you're this young mind, and all these bad things happen to you. Yes, that is a huge part. But the thing is, is you don't want to live there anymore. You don't want to live in that part of your head anymore to where it's, it's, it's crippling you that it's holding you back from doing the things that you want to accomplish in your life. I'm not saying you have to forgive them. I'm not saying that it make it right, or anything like that, or validate any of that stuff. No, it was wrong, they shouldn't have done it or so I should have said this to you, or, you know, you shouldn't have been bullied or you shouldn't have been the bully or whatever it is, or both, right. But this is something that you have to overcome, you have to make peace with, if you want to move forward, and you want to get stronger, because either you're going to continue feeling that victimhood. And you'll never be able to move forward and pass this or you're just going to put that to rest and say you know what, no longer Am I going to allow myself to to be held back by these limited beliefs, or these things that have happened to me, no matter how bad they were in my past, that I'm going to overcome them and that I'm going to, to be stronger than that, that I want to grow from this, and nobody's going to hold me back. So whether it's valid or not, it doesn't really matter. Because it's all about moving forward. And keep in mind this, this little monster inside of you, I like to call it a little monster. You know, it knows where to hide, because remember, it's part of you. So it knows where to hide, it knows when to attack, it knows the perfect time it knows how to, to, to to hide the evidence to make it look like it was somebody else's fault this time and not your fault. Or not part of you that's that's causing this as an external person, because so and so had made a comment that was very familiar to somebody else that made a comment in your past, even though it might not mean anything, you know, even similar, it could be completely innocent, like when they made a comment, like any kind of a comment in our somebody holds the door open for you. And you're thinking like, oh, what, am I too weak to hold my own door to open the door for myself? No, they were just trying to be nice, maybe I doubt they were trying to do that. But in your head, you could still be relating that to, to Oh, they think I'm weak or because if somebody tried to help me, that means that I'm weak and I can't handle this, myself know, some people just want to help and you don't need to make it that. So understand that, you know, in order for you to heal yourself and to grow from it that you have to let go of all that past crap, all that stuff that's kind of built up into this monster to hold you back and keep you little and keep you small and to not allow you to get out of your comfort zone so that you can grow because again, like I said, this monster it wants to be alive, it doesn't want to die because it is part of you. But you have to learn and we're going to give you the tools here today the tools to be able to to take that monster and to put it to to nap to give it a nap. So say okay, monster, you know, your everything's okay, I've got this, don't worry, take a little nap, you're not gonna die, you know, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm not gonna smother you in your sleep, because I know you're part of me, and I can't kill that. Because that would be bad. So I'm just gonna put you to nap and you know, and every now and that that monster will come back and it might be in full vengeance. But you know, you're gonna put it back to bed and like, relax, calm down, little monster. You know, everything's okay, you're gonna put it to bed, you're gonna sing it a little lullaby it and let it to go to go to bed. And the better you get at this, especially using the tools that we're going to talk about today, you'll be able to put that monster to bed to take a nap over and over again. And you'll catch it quicker and quicker. The more you do this, in the beginning, it might take you a week, it might take you two weeks, it might take some people a month to learn how to even put their monster, you know, to bed to let it take a nap. But the better you get at it, you can start doing it within minutes. I mean, how awesome is that, that you can go from feeling triggered or feeling upset about something or feeling hurt by something or telling yourself something and being able to just be like, No, no, take a nap. Nope, nope. I'm not going to accept that and then just be able to just shift like that where you can go into that mode of To create this, I'm gonna do this and put that insecurity or that, that that, or bring that self confidence up to where you could do anything I know for me, like one of the big things for me was speaking on stage. Or even doing videos like this, where I was like, Oh, I can't really pay attention. I can't look at a camera without having notes in front of me. That's why I like the audio podcast because I could have like printed notes, and I would just go right through it. Because then with my add my ADHD, I would like instantly just get distracted. And that happens today, even when I'm talking to you right here in this camera, I get distracted. But a lot of people might not even notice it, because I just turn around. And I'll just ask Tony, like, well, Tony, what do you think about that, right? So I have little cues. And I used to do that on stage too. Just a funny little side story, when I was on stage, and I was fearful to death, to be on stage to speak in front of an audience to speak in front of more than three people, which was freaky to me, I remember when I was a personal trainer, and I had to give this little talk for just like a minute or two stuff that I love talking about individually to people, or even two on one, the fact that I had to get in front of three or four people staying in front of them. I was like, freaked out because I wasn't used to that. And I was afraid of that in school. I used to just say give me the F when they say you have a book report or something you have to do in front of the class. I'm like, just give me the F Give me the fail. I don't care. I'm not doing it. Right. So one day, I just decided to force myself to do it. And I learned basically trial by fire, right, jump in or sink or swim, right? So what I did was, I stood I stood up there. And as I was talking, I instantly forgot what the hell I was gonna say. I was like, Oh, crap, what was I gonna say? Oh, no. And I instantly just out of survival mode. I just asked everybody. So who here is from out of town, you know, who here drove more than 20 miles? Who here had a friend bring them to this event? You know, just random questions like that. And it got me talking. And within a few seconds, I was able to get back on track just like that. So sometimes I joke about it as well. Like, if we were at a live event, I've done this as well, where I'm talking. And then I forget what I'm going to say and I say Hey, guys, just so everybody knows here, I've got this add, add ADHD. And if I see a squirrel, I see a bird. I'm going to totally forget what I'm saying. So do me a favor. If that happens, I'll let you know. And then somebody in the audience remind me what I was talking about. Or better yet. How about somebody in front? Can you hold my notes for him? Just hold them up for me right here. Oh, appreciate it. Thank you. Oh, little higher, holding steady. And I just kind of make it fun, you know, and people loved it. They would laugh and they would enjoy it. And they actually thought it was all a joke. They thought I was joking about it that I wasn't serious. But no, it happens.
Tony
Nice, hidden in plain sight.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do you have anything you want to add about that? Tony?
Tony
Yeah, I really like that you were describing like, people always talk about Oh, kill the monster, while it's small and all that. But I really like how you're saying, we're not going to kill the monster, we're just going to put it to sleep for a little bit. And that reminded me of, of Hulk, where again, sons getting real low bid guy, you got, you got to teach, you got to teach your inner Hulk, that. And I think catching yourself, when you're, when you're doing it can be difficult. And one of the triggers, or one of the cues that I first managed to use successfully, let's say was, was when ever I say something feels like when somebody says feels like it usually means in my, in my kind of experience, at least, that when somebody says feels like it means that they haven't got the facts. So the kind of making up a bit of a story a bit of a flowery story. And be is that they're going to exaggerate as well, because saying something like, oh, it feels like the weight of the world is on me. And I learned this from Paul mort, who's a coach here in the UK and when internationally, I guess. But he says things like, you know, when people say, the world of the weight is on my shoulders, you know, it's like, what is it really though, and I think it's not you just kind of, you've got a lot on your mind. And by by acknowledging it and recognizing it. Like when somebody says, oh, I've I've got this going on, you know, like, Oh, it's I can't handle I feel like my heart's gonna burst out my chest is it was not really going to is it you just a bit anxious about some stuff. And when you kind of reacted that way and say, Yeah, but you've started something, say feels like there's a kind of thing where you catch yourself and go, okay, does it really feel like that or is it maybe just, I'm a bit unsure about this and it kind of brings you back it kind of grounds you again and yeah, that's that's how me that's how me personally how I I have found the easiest way to to recognize my negative self talk. Because when I say feels like because for me, this isn't the first time that I'd ever heard about negative self talk. It's it's something that comes up a lot. And you think, Okay, great. Yeah, I'm gonna watch out for that. But then never managed to find a way in to doing it. And so for me that the feels like was a great kind of yakka Oh, God, it feels like I've got a million things to do. I feel like okay, maybe a million. Maybe not a million. Maybe I've got 10 things. I love that. Yeah,
Dr. Dan
I love and, and yeah, so as far as killing a monster, like, yeah, that's the thing is people talk about like, Oh, um, I need to kill the monster. It's like, No, you can't kill it, it's part of you. How are you going to kill part of you? You know, that's like saying, you know, because I had a bad childhood because I was abused, or whatever it might be. I'm gonna delete that from my past. How are you going to do that? Like, how are you going to like, wipe your like, let's say you could let's say you go wipe your memory clean of your past? Who would you become? Like you might actually be the person that does that to somebody else that because you don't have that experience of how bad that was for you that now you had the inspiration to help others to prevent that happening to other people? Because you remove that from yourself? I mean, how horrible is that? So of course, like, you know, yeah, I've had so much stuff happen to me. And again, this isn't a competition. So there's people that have had it worse off. So I don't even want to get into any of that. But again, I would, I wouldn't trade it with anybody else. We talked about this in the past episode about time traveling, if we can time travel and change things, you know, but who would you be today, if you if you did change those things, you know, like, you wouldn't be the same person you are today, I wouldn't have the same relationship with my wife that I've had for over 20 years now. If it wasn't for the person, and the things that and the challenges I had to go through, I wouldn't be the father I am today. I wouldn't be homeschooling my kids, I wouldn't be talking to you here today on this video here along with Tony, we wouldn't be talking because I didn't have those experiences. And I wouldn't be who I am today. And one thing I wanted to mention, I love this. We'll talk a little bit more in a second about positive words versus negative words that you use for yourself. And, and, and and you'd said something Tony about catching yourself? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, say that again.
Tony
Yeah, I was just saying I found it difficult to catch myself. So now saying whenever I use the words, like,
Dr. Dan
Okay, what would you say in the beginning? It feels What again?
Tony
Oh, feels
Dr. Dan
like you. It feels difficult. difficult. You said I find it difficult. Oh, yeah. Yes.
Tony
Yeah. You see, ah, I'm looking at. So yeah.
Dr. Dan
It makes it pretty fun, especially when you have somebody else to help you. So if you have Gemma, you both can catch each other and your negative words, like Tony was out a positive or negative word, you could have fun with it, you know, like, so again, when you're saying, you know, like, I find it difficult to catch. When you're using a negative word. Of course, you find it difficult because you said you find it difficult. Right?
Tony
All right, you can have
Dr. Dan
a positive way of saying that instead, instead of just saying I find it difficult. Catching myself instead of it could be something else, right? Like, like, Oh, I'm gonna, I'm going to I'm going to catch myself more often. Or I'm gonna have fun catching myself. Right?
Tony
Yeah. Yeah. What's funny about that is that you said, What did you just say? And I didn't know. I didn't even know what I just said. I didn't even know that. It is difficult
Dr. Dan
to set a three times. Yeah. You said it three times that you didn't catch it, but I heard it right away. But that's again, it just takes practice again, the more you do it, and also because it is it is you doing it, so it makes it a little bit more difficult because you're trying to catch yourself. And again, that monster is hiding. It's an inside man, it's an inside job, it knows where to hide, it knows all of your like all your secrets and your your you know your vulnerabilities, right? It knows when to get you. When did make it something else. Like oh, this is different. This is different. Oh, that's a whole different thing. You know, you know, many times I've told people that like what we just talked about, and you're very receptive, which is awesome. That you accepted that right away like, Oh, yeah, yeah, you caught it, but I said that to other people before too. I'm like, Oh, well, when you say it's difficult when you think it's gonna be it's gonna be difficult like, yeah, yeah, but but it is it is for me, you don't understand. I've had all these things. It's been hard and they just keep going, I'm like, Yeah, well, it is hard because you say it's gonna be hard. Like, yeah, I get that. But it doesn't make it less true that it is I don't like. And they just they just don't they don't catch it. You know?
Tony
Yeah. I do wonder if if that's maybe part because maybe that's part of their identity, I was having a conversation with somebody the other day, and I didn't put it in my notes for this, because I thought, well, what if they see it, but I'm just not going to share this episode with them. But they were saying that they're fibromyalgia and they were, they're explaining kind of what they believe to be the cause of it. Because those who don't know Fibromyalgia is just pain in the body that's unexplainable. There's no medical cause. And there were saying, Oh, I had trauma, when I was younger, and so my fibro, and there was kept saying my fibro and even had a name, fibro, it wasn't like, it's like, it had a cute name. And it had it it was this label, it was this big label. And I was I was listening, thinking, who who would you be without this? And I was thinking, that's part of your identity. And yeah, and I didn't want to pull on that string. That's not my string to pull on, you know, but we did slightly just skirt around the whole thing about identities and all that. Yeah. So. So I think when people reject, like you said, they go, Oh, no, no, but it's different for me because of this, and that in the other. Because it is kind of questioning their identity isn't it is the label, that's how they identify themselves to the world, I've had this struggle, and all this, whereas my identity is, I'm a work in progress. And I'm excited for leveling up, I'm not going to level up, unless I identify and kind of either adapt or overcome and improve and level up upgrade my software, let's say, that's my identity. Yeah.
Dr. Dan
Yeah. Why I, I've heard that so many times. I don't know if I know this person that you're speaking of. But I know several people that go through that challenge as well. And again, it's it's not only that, that they've made it part of their identity, it's that they feel they get they feel they get sympathy. They want sympathy, right? They want Oh, poor, you poor this, whatever, and there's going to be people that give it to them, and probably growing up, they probably did, you know, get sympathy from other people for that for a while, you know, and then at some point, that relationship goes away, or unless it's a family member, like let's say, their mom or their dad, and they continue to give sympathy, I don't know. But it's kind of like a child that wants attention. If you're talking to somebody, and I think your kids too young for this right now, Tony, but for my kids, I would go to a grocery store or any store, and I'm talking to somebody there, whether they work there or a friend or whatever. And as we're talking to them, they like keep pulling on your leg and they keep like flipping you're like hitting my hat off my head and interrupting and saying, like, I can do this and dance, I can't believe I could do a triple Twister and dance, you know, and they just start talking out loud, I'm like, stop, stop. And then maybe they go grab something and we're like, stop, put that back, you get a break it and then they just keep doing it because negative attention is still attention to them. And and that's again, that's what's happened is any tension is better than no attention at all. And they've kind of learned to, to use that to get some kind of attention, some kind of reaction from people. And even though it might be negative, they're still getting some attention. So if you're somebody that's doing this, then more than likely you want to overcome this. Otherwise, you wouldn't be watching this. Right? So there's good news for you, yes, you can overcome this because the fact that you are watching this, that you are paying attention and that you have an interest in getting past this. So again, it's just gonna take practice, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it. But there are some people that just are not ready to make that change to make that shift. So they're not ready to hear this. So Tony, like for you talking to that person and telling them all the secrets and all the tips and all the things that they can do and the tools they can use. They're not willing to listen right now. They just they're they're just not they're not receptive. Yeah, you know, they're jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. And and you're telling them you have a parachute on your back and they don't read but they don't believe and they don't realize they have a parachute. They're like No, I'm just gonna die.
Tony
I think I think yeah, I think for me to do with all of this sort of thing, and and I experienced this myself was on the receiving end of something like this a couple of days ago, is that when people start giving advice and and all that without you asking for help you feel attacked. So if I start like telling this person, like, oh, like I was thinking I was talking with them, I was thinking kind of about the whole six human needs thing that Tony Robbins talks about of like certainty, uncertainty, significance, love connection and growth and contribution and all that. And I was thinking of these things thinking Well, does, do they get certainty from it? Do they get uncertainty from it? and all that sort of thing? I didn't go down any of those paths with them. Because I thought, well, they've not asked me for the help. And I could say, hey, do you do? I may have some insights on this. I'm not a doctor, but I may have some insight, do you want help? I didn't even just say that we just skirted around it briefly. But I didn't ask somebody for some advice the other day. And they, they started questioning stuff and, and really, like hitting me with personal questions. And I'm like, Oh, well, I didn't tell him but I was like, just need to do one. But I was thinking in different terms. And and that's because I wasn't prepared to address that at that time. And, and I didn't ask them to address it with me either. So yeah, I think the people watching this, who may have things they want to work on, which is probably every human, I imagine, I think that watches this, I think you you may want to, I'm sure you agree with this done, they may want to think, is it something I want to deal with at this stage? Or some people might be really annoyed by what I said about Fibromyalgia? And no offense was intended at all. And we're not saying it's made up and, and that you just need to sort your head out or anything like that? Because I imagine I come across that way sometimes. But what I was saying is that things that things of those natures, there's you can look at anything positive or negative. And I think we're just saying just check stuff out with a positive spin. At least I think that's what I was saying.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing that is also important, I'm glad you brought that up, because about the other part about like, somebody's talking to you about something and and then maybe not being ready for it. So I don't know the exact situation. But if people talk to me about something, like, Oh, I have this shoulder problem, or Oh, I have this other problem, or Oh, I have this other problem, and they constantly do it, I'm gonna go ahead and give them some advice. And I'm going to tell them, You need to do this, or you need to do that, you know, or, or whatever is, for that instance, you need to start doing some self talk, you need to get some self development, you need to do start saying better, better, asking yourself better questions or being more positive about stuff. Because I'm not I don't want to become this, this wastebasket, you know, where I'm going to be, or this this, this human junk drawer where people can can go ahead and just throw in all their worries, and all the negative stuff that they keep bringing up over and over again, to me, you know, it's one thing in passing, but if it's somebody that is in your life, that's constantly always just adding to your own junk drawer, and then they don't want any advice. And anything, you know, back whatever, I'm not going to allow that I'm going to tell them like, Well, you know what, you need to do this, undo it. And then either one or two things are gonna happen, either they're gonna do it, or they're just gonna stop talking to me about that problem. And, and I'm fine with either one of them. I hope they fix it. But hey, if they don't want to talk to me about any more, then that's fine as well. Because unless they're willing to listen to my answer, I'm not gonna sit there and, and and take on all their negativity, because that's all it is. It's them being negative on themselves, but then also trying to bring it on to me as well.
Tony
Yeah, like we said before, where, where attention goes, energy flows and results show and every variation on that theme. And so if they're bringing your attention to that thing all the time, then then then it's going to start impacting on you. So definitely, if people are dumping on you, then you you need to work. Yeah, help them, help them find a result that they're looking for. Other than just offloading onto you and getting that negative attention. Definitely. Yeah. Yep.
Dr. Dan
I definitely want to mention Yeah, no, totally. Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Dan
I also want to mention about the collective mind I know we've we've talked about in a past episode, it was why you should have a bad day. And in that episode, we talked about the the monkeys the the 100th monkey effect, which I totally forgot what it was called. But Tony fortunately wrote down a note on there, because it's been so long since it hasn't even been that long since we talked about it's just one of the things that I don't put in my mental database, right. I just don't save that on my, my mental hard drive. And, and, and in a nutshell, if you didn't check out that episode, and you haven't heard of that before, in a nutshell is a bunch of different islands in Japan. And I don't know if they said that the month monkeys were like starving or there wasn't that much food or whatever, or they had, but they have potatoes there, but they wouldn't eat the potatoes because potatoes were dirty, they had dirt on him, right, because they come from the ground. So they didn't eat them because they wouldn't eat dirty potatoes. But then one monkey decided to like figured out how to wash a potato. While all of a sudden all the other monkeys on that same Island started washing potatoes as well and eating them. But one thing that's crazy in the study is they found that other islands that are not connected together, also, those monkeys over there started also washing potatoes as well. So it's like, all of a sudden, they all started figuring it out collectively, without actually communicating to each other, you know, verbally right? It's not like they just like put a message in a ball or send out an email or one monkey got on a boat and decided to go you know, sail over to the other island and start teaching all the different monkeys in different islands how to do it and and then they started to monetize it and created a YouTube and tick tock channel and started like creating videos like here's how he was potatoes, monkeys, right? They do not like that. So I thought that was really interesting, but but what I was gonna say is a collective mind. It's something that's real. The Yogi's talk, I've talked about this for hundreds and 1000s of years. Your brain is like a calculator. I like to say your brain is like a calculator. But I actually now explain it as like an internet browser, right? Because a lot of everybody can relate to an internet browser, like, let's say Google Chrome, right, so you've got this Chrome. And that's the Google Chrome is your is your brain. And it's constantly being hit, you go to a website, like you go to Forbes, and you go to forbes.com. And all of a sudden, you have all these like ads popping up, all these little pop ups popping up with all these little windows and these little X's, these little flashing things, and it's like all over the damn place. And then also something else opens up, and then something else opens up. And then you go to another website. And like all these little spam, things popping up and pop under and you're just like, What the heck's going on here, it's all over the plays. And that's how your brain operates, is you're trying to focus in on one thing, let's say that article on forbes.com, but all those other craps being thrown at you constantly, constantly, and you have to learn how to how to press those little X's and get really good at it. Because sometimes those x's are so small, or you can't find them, especially if you're on your phone, you're just like, dude, I keep pressing this x and nothing is happening, or it sends me somewhere else, because I'm pressing the x. And I'm like, I didn't press the ad, I press the X, like, what the heck do I do. So you have to learn the tools in order to be able to get rid of these and to quiet them down, because they're never going to fully go away. But you're going to learn to quiet them down in the collective mind is, my point is, is that when you get up, you have all this stimulation going on around you. And I'm not talking about if you turn on your TV, or you you put on YouTube or you go online, or you check your emails or whatever you're doing, or there's a TV going on in the other room, I'm talking about the collective mind of people in your city, in the world, they're all waking up, and they're all doing stuff. And they have their own worries and all their other things going on. So just like the 100th monkey, all this stuff is going on in your brain is like this, it's got these in this antennas, where it's like tuning into all these different, you know, all these different stations, like when you're driving your car, and if you're if you you know, most people don't listen to the radio anymore, right? But you listen to Spotify, or something like dat, or Apple, you know, music, buy it, you know, if you've ever used the radio, and you're driving your car, which I'm sure a lot of you have, and you go from one state or one city to another city and all of a sudden the station starts to get fuzzy and you start bleeding into another station and you hear two stations going on at the same time. And you can't get one of the other you got to kind of finely tuned that in order to get one right to give up one and go to the other. The same thing goes on in your brain. And that's where tools like doing morning yoga, actually coming and doing doing short or long meditation actually helps. And that's why the Yogi's will get out before the sun even rises. So before the sun even rises, they say there's information that comes from from the from the beams and the rays from the sun. So that's why they get up like it for 430. And they'll do yoga meditation and do that. So they can get those instructions not impeded by everybody else getting up at 678 in the morning, rushing to get ready for work or to take their kids to school or worry about, you know, paying their bills or whatever it might be or stuck in traffic and you know, being angry and rush hour traffic, you know, trying to get around other cars. So I'm not saying you have to wake up at five, six in the morning. I've done that in the past when I wanted to get certain projects done. But typically as of right now, I'm not doing that. You know, I'll get up like between eight and 9am typically And, but I will do morning yoga. So me and the wife will usually do it together, we'll sit down, we'll do a little chat and incantation, we'll do that for a few minutes, then we'll do a couple of different yoga poses we do Kundalini Yoga, well, we've done in the past, where we'll do like 30 to 45 minute sessions. But lately, a lot of the times, we'll just do 10 1215 minutes. And that's it. Because we want to get started in our day. And then when we really need it, we'll do a little bit longer session. So even 10 minutes doing like 10 minutes, every morning. First thing, when you get up, you can brush your teeth. And then as soon as you brush your teeth, drink some water, sit down and do that little, little meditation and a little bit, just a teeny bit of yoga, at the very least, just start out by doing eight or 10 minutes, because even doing just 10 minutes of meditation and yoga is better than 98% better than not doing it all. I mean, it is that big of a difference. It's like, I always compare it to like walking through mud through the whole day, if I don't do it, I feel like I'm just in mud, trying to crawl through mud and my foot sticking and I can't get up and I'm just stuck. And if I do, you know, even 10 minutes of morning meditation and yoga, I feel like it's just a lot easier. You know, I feel like I'm walking through a puddle of water. And it's really simple. There's no more mud, you know, it just makes it so much easier. And then if I'm feeling it during the middle of the day, I might do another meditation or something like that. But I don't, it's not that often that I have to do that anymore. But when you're first starting out, maybe you do, maybe you need to do some some breathing exercises or something like that. And you want to check out some meditations and yoga stuff like that, you can go to my wife's YouTube channel, it's a just search daily Shakti. It used to be yoga with Siri Shakti. But now we changed it to daily Shakti. So just do a quick search on that, we'll probably put a link down at the bottom as well. And and check out some of those videos. And she's going to be adding some more as well. But these are, these are little tools that you can use to help you get started your day. And to kind of give yourself that fresh start. And to allow yourself to quickly be able to hit those little X's and all that crap that pops up on your Windows as you're trying to get started and go through your entire day. Do you have anything like that? You do, Tony?
Tony
Yeah, I've tried. I've tried all sorts of things down. Yeah, I've tried all sorts. And I'm gonna preface this with I know, I'm what I'm saying. I know what I'm doing here. When I say I'm not a morning person. Isn't it? I agree. People who say that aren't morning people, and they struggle. But it's just one of those things. And I've, for me, it depends actually depends a lot on how much sleep I've had if I've had a deep dive just before I wake up and all that sort of thing. And I believe we were going to do an episode on sleep, won't we? So we'll cover that another day. But yeah, for me. Yes, setting yourself up for the day is super important. And I also think doing finding what works for you is important. Obviously, what Dan just described is is what, what works for Dan and works with millions of people around the world. For me, I have my own little routine that I do. That definitely involves making coffee, which, which is probably a bad thing, actually. Because it coffee and caffeine is a diuretic, so it dehydrates you further. But also plenty of water as well, to kind of counteract that and rehydrate my body a bit. And now typically, I'll work through some questions. And I know we're going to be looking at some questions later on in this in this chat. But I actually have a planner that I use, that has morning questions set you up for the day. And then in the evening, you just kind of reflect on on how the day on how the day went. So I set up for the day.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, that's all great. That's, that's all great. That's all powerful stuff. That's the positive questions that's getting you you know, getting getting you stronger at that. But again, you have to give yourself that brain wash, you know, and and none of that stuff is going to help with any of that. It's going to help you it's going to help you keep pushing forward, but you have to get rid of that thing. It's like, it's like if you are attracting, like flies because you're dirty. You know, you can SWAT the flies as much as you want. But until you wash yourself, those flies are just gonna keep coming after you
Tony
hit Oh, definitely. So and and the next thing I was gonna say was, I do like a mini meditation. And then I do meditations later in the day. And when you talk before about browsers Like your brain being like a browser and closing all those tabs, when people asked me about meditation, which No, no, what do people say, nobody ever asked me about meditation, I tell them about it, I tell them, they never asked me, I just tell them. For me, meditation is like closing all those browser tabs, and closing all those apps that are running on the computer, and just just focusing on just that one thing, having one tab. So I do like a mini meditation because we got a two year old, and we're doing morning stuff. So for me, while I'm making coffee, that is kind of my process my mini meditation while I'm doing that, very short, very compressed. And then later in the day, before I start doing anything meaningful, you could argue morning stuff with family is meaningful. But when I'm trying to do work or whatever, I'll stop, I'll sit, I'll give myself that brainwash. And then I'll crack on with my day. So I don't know why I just budget along, after all the craziness of our morning, yeah.
Dr. Dan
I used to have a coaching student and, and she would, she had a house full of kids. And her kids were always like coming at her for stuff. So I had recommended you do a meditation, do a little bit of, you know, yoga tuning in just a little bit. And it turned out like at first she was like just going into a closet, close the door, and she would do it in there. And of course, if you don't have a big enough closet, then you need to find another part of their house, maybe you need to go in your car. And whether it's in the garage of the driveway, or wherever it needs to be, you know, somewhere that you can kind of close off and shut down, maybe lock your door to the bedroom, if it's loud, maybe put on some headphones, or something like that, get some some like some noise cancelling headphones or ear earbuds or something like that, you can do that as well. These are all things that I've had to do myself, you know, if I was on a plane or something, I would have to you know, use some some earbuds or, or a headset or something like that, and noise cancelling in order to do that, or if you're on the beach or something like that. So any of those things will work. Another tool that I use, and I've actually taught my son and my wife how to do this as well, is I like to put it in what I call the chess, right. So like a treasure chest I think of as a treasure chest. So if I have a worry or a thought especially close to bedtime, you know, like, for instance, last night, Tony likes me to get my notes out early enough, at least a day in advance ourselves. So that way, he could look at what we're going to be talking about today. So he could have some stuff to talk about too. And in the past I've been like notorious for, for doing it, like an hour, half an hour before we even do the episode. I'm just like, Oh, I got an idea. And I just like verse of like writing down stuff like like crazy. And I just non stop for like 2030 minutes. Like it just floods out me. I don't like to just do a little here, little there. I like to do it all at once. And sometimes I feel the inspiration like right before, like what's needed, and I'm just gonna do it. So you know, like, I ended up writing some stuff earlier yesterday. And the product the challenge I have, and again, positive talk. What did I just say? Did you catch that? Instead of saying the problem I have? I started to say that. And I said the challenge I have, right? So there's difference between a problem a problem is a negative thing and something that that problem is Ottawa more problems? I can't, how am I going to solve this, right? So instead, I make it a challenge. Because challenges are fun. It's given the assumption that it is something that you can overcome. So I call it a challenge. So the challenge that I have is when I start thinking about, about like what I'm gonna talk about tomorrow, then I just want to write it all down all at once. And then through the whole night. I'm thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it. And then I have a chat, I have a challenge falling asleep, because I've got all these ideas rushing through my head like crazy, right? Because I'm finely tuned, right? I don't have all this other crap going on. Because I do meditation, I do yoga. So I'm able to zero in on that one browser. But the challenge is, is how do you put the computer to sleep? Right? It's like it's flashing with all these ideas. So one thing that I use is I call it putting it in the chest. So I imagine there's this chess, and it's like a treasure chest and it's in the in the, in the sand and near the ocean, right? So it's like in sand on the beach. There's the ocean over there, the sound of the beautiful waves, like the way that sounds and I open up the chest, and I put all the things that I want to work on tomorrow, or I want to think about tomorrow, and I put them in that chest and I close the chest and I go tomorrow morning, I'll open up the chest and I'll bring it out and I'll start going over that stuff. And it doesn't usually work right away The first time I have to do it again. Then I do it again. Then I do it again. Then I do it again. And then eventually it works. So it's not something that instantly works but again again Some people, they don't want to use a chess, they don't want it to be on the beach, it could be somewhere else, it could be on a bookshelf, you know, it could be on a high shelf that you have a shoe box, and you want to put that challenge or that idea or whatever the stuff that's going on your head, you put it in the shoe box, or you put it in a book or something like that. You're gonna close it, you're gonna say tomorrow I will think about this. Tomorrow I will work on this could be a drawer, it could be whatever you want to call it, whatever would work for you. But personally, I just like to put in a chess, close it lock it can unlock it tomorrow and open it up and look at all that stuff. The next day, but that's that's how I'm able to put those things, all those ideas into quiet my mind, so I can actually get to bed. Otherwise I would be up all night constantly thinking writing notes and, and going going like crazy.
Tony
I feel kind of bad contributing to your sleeplessness. me going. Can we have notes a bit earlier? Please.
Dr. Dan
should feel bad. You should. It's all your fault. Donnie? Well, your family? Yeah.
Tony
I didn't realize this how your brain works to be fair, maybe, maybe we'll just go back to doing it beforehand, then. Every everyone gets better sleep on.
Dr. Dan
So it's fine. It might take me an extra 20 minutes. That's about it. Okay.
Tony
So that that's interesting. So two thoughts there. One is when I'm going to sleep, I've gotten the habit of listening to a Spotify podcast called get sleepy. And the the guy who presents that Thomas, shout out to Thomas, he, he gave a tip one time where he said if you get this thought that keeps coming into your head, just say not now. And I've been using it. But I'm going to try the box method as well, the treasure chest because I quite like the idea of being by the sea and all that sort of thing.
Dr. Dan
Yeah. Yeah.
Tony
But before we move away too far away from what we're talking about before about the morning routines and the meditation and stuff, would you recommend, then, would you recommend that the process I've got currently where I'm just kind of fumbling my way through the morning until everyone's sorted and then I do the meditation and stuff. Now, obviously, I don't want to get up. First, so you're recommending I give it a try doing it first, saying I'm off to the bathroom? You know, and then I just locked myself in there and have five minutes. Well, Tony,
Dr. Dan
let me ask you this. Should you eat your first meal before you go to bed? Or should you eat it? When you like some sometime close to when you wake up? Or? Or at least at least like close to lunchtime? Well, you better Yeah. When do you need it about what do you need the energy coming in? Hmm, because food is energy, and you need that food to function through the day. And I know some people do intermittent fasting so they don't eat until like noon or whatever. But the bottom line is, you don't intermittent fasting by by eating one meal at like 9pm or 10pm. And then you don't eat again until the next night. That would be crazy. Yeah. Right. Because you don't need that food at 9pm. You need that energy at some point earlier in the day. So you can get through your day. Same thing with the meditation and the yoga and again, 10 minutes. 10 minutes. That's it. Okay, now, yeah, off my wife put something together like a quick 10 minute one.
Tony
Yeah, well, the second question I have for you, is an interesting one I'd love to and I've got a few ideas myself, but I'd love to hear your take on this. You wake up, you know, maybe you've not woken up to an alarm. We're lucky. We don't have alarms at home. We have a child and a dog. And we don't have day jobs. We are self employed. So we don't have to get up at certain times. And all that glorious stuff. So we wake up when we wake up and then we just reactive. Like, okay, right, I've woken up. Right, the dog needs to go out. Right pepper. Let's get you downstairs, right? Who wants coffee and coffee? Cause we want coffee, right? We make the coffee. So I'm being reactive the whole time. It's very easy to forget to do the thing. That's going to make you proactive incidentally. So I guess when you're being proactive, you're you're certain your intentions for the day early. You're clearing your browser history, you're clearing the cache, and all that. Yep, of your of your browser, like we talked about. So that's being proactive. So instead of being reactive, and then you can get to later on in the day and you've forgotten to do that morning routine. So what are your suggestions or tips for remembering to do that morning routine because you probably less likely to well, somebody might be less likely to remember they were going to do it. Yeah, and go back to their old
Dr. Dan
what I would recommend You know, I'm there with you, man, I forget things all the time I use a an app on my phone call to do list, I think it's called and. And it will add to do list. And it just like sets, like I can set reminders. And it just basically, I mean, it's the same thing is like a reminder, the reminder app the iPhone has it just I just liked the way it functions a little bit better. So I use that I set constant reminders for all the things that I need to remember. And sometimes I forget, and then I end up doing them later anyways, but I never forget to do them at all, because it's on there and it pops up and it reminds me also you can do if you've got like, I don't want to say her name. But Alexa. Right. She just opened up. Or I also have Samuel. Hey, Samuel, what's the weather outside?
Currently,
Tony
it's 88 degrees Fahrenheit. This guy's and stuff. Today,
Dr. Dan
mostly sunny with the high of 89 degrees. That's enough.
Tony
You may need to you know, like bleep some of that out.
Dr. Dan
We'll see. So, uh, so, yeah, so you can set you can set reminders with that as well. So that could remind you. So if you have if you have one of those devices, you can do that. You can use Google Calendar, you can use your alarm calendar or your your alarm notification on your phones as well. So I would I would do something like that where I'm going to remember or you just write it on a piece of paper, and you put it on your bathroom mirror? Yeah. And then you're not going
Tony
to forget thinking is less time bound. Those are the things rely on getting up at a certain time. And because if you want to do so make it Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Dan
And make it fun. Grab your baby, grab your baby, put them on, put her on your lap, and do your your meditation, do your yoga, do your moving around, do your tune in, you know, if she's being fussy, and she's all over the place. And obviously, it makes it a little more difficult, that maybe you know, the wife can take it for a second, you could do a tune in. And then 10 minutes later, she could do the tune in you take the baby, you know, I mean, there's always ways to work around it, you know, again, it's positive versus negative, the positive being like, how can we make this work? What can we do to make this work? versus it's hard? It's difficult. Yeah, it's so hard to do this because we got a kid because we got there. Because Because we, but definitely do it before you drink coffee. That is a must. You don't want to take your stimulant first and then do that. Yeah,
Tony
yeah, that makes sense.
Dr. Dan
But if you forget, if you forget, like I said, like you were saying, if you forget and you drink coffee, and it's two o'clock in the afternoon, you're like, Oh, I forgot to do and all these reminders went off and I still didn't do it. Or I forgot to even set the reminders. I need to set a reminder to set the reminders, then just do it. Two o'clock, three o'clock, four o'clock. I don't care. Just do it.
Tony
Yeah, yeah, I definitely find it beneficial. I just don't do it. First thing. I tend to just deal with everyone and then do it kind of thing. One thing I did today, normally, I would do my workouts in the evening when I do them. But today I did a boxing workout on the VR on a game called thrill of the fight which is just madness. It's absolutely it's like real boxing. And and Yeah, that one I did that early in the day and I really felt the benefit and kind of throughout that I felt the soreness as well. I really overdid it really overdid it, but I felt the benefit all day. And I think moving early is good because it kind of just pumps the blood around and kind of gets everything going doesn't it so I can definitely see the benefit to to doing yoga first thing and just getting everything together oxygenated blood all around the all around the body. It makes sense wakes up your muscles and organs, doesn't it?
Dr. Dan
Yeah, like I said, we used to do like 3045 minutes a day. And then we started getting lazy and waking up a little later. So now we do like 10 to 12 minutes, sometimes 15 minutes or whatever. But it's it's super important. And just to do even that is a huge win too. It feels good. It feels great to feel proud of yourself. It's something to to say I did this today. It's it's a win for you. So it's definitely something you want to avoid. I mean everything that we've talked about. There's also something called the imposter syndrome. I don't know if if any of you've heard this before, but the imposter syndrome is basically another way of of the party that wants to keep you in your comfort zone. It doesn't want you to expand out and this could be this is internal for sure. The imposter syndrome is part of the internally but there's also an external component of as well. Not that it's the imposter syndrome but other people That or your friends or family, they also can be influential on trying to keep you from getting out of your comfort zone as well. Because if you get out your comfort zone, if you make a huge change and you shift, you'd shift, then that to them that feels like that they're a loser or that you know what's wrong with them. And why can't they do it as well, or they're afraid that they'll have to do it if you do it. So they might not be as supportive of some of your goals, your dreams, your desires, some of the things that you want to accomplish in your life. And again, this could be friends, family, loved ones, it could be anybody in your life, or even just strangers that you meet that you talk that you decide to share, like, Oh, I'm doing this, and they're like, Oh, I heard that I heard it's really tough. And you're not going to be able to do it. And, and I know so and so. And they, they started a YouTube channel or Tick Tock channel, they died, you're going to probably die, you know, something extreme like that. You'll hear all kinds of crazy things, right?
Tony
People, people, they did that. And people laughed at them. And we don't want you to be laughed out or embarrass us. And that's what they're kind of saying.
Dr. Dan
Yeah. Yeah. So again, the imposter syndrome, it's just another part of that monster that wants to hold you back that you just need to quiet down, put it to sleep, put it to rest. And just understand that we all have this, myself included, I still, I still, you know, I was about to say struggle with this, just to kind of relate to you all that struggle with it, possibly, but it's not a struggle, it's something that is a challenge that's challenging me constantly, and I'm overcoming it constantly, as well. So it is something that I have to, you know, I have to move past myself at times, I have to be able to overcome it at times. So it's not something that I'm completely resilient to that that never happens to me. And I also don't think even the most popular people online are the people that you see it, you know, on seminars or billionaires or millionaires or people out there that you respect, you're like, Whoa, how's it that they you know, they're on stage, and they're speaking to millions of people, and they're just so amazing, you know, like, how can I ever be like that? Well, they have that imposter syndrome as well. They've just learned how to overcome it, and, and how to quiet it quicker and faster as well. And again, it's using these tools that we're talking about today, right here right now. And what another another tool another strategy to use is surrounding yourself around other like minded people in your life. And, and I think I've spoken about this before in past episodes, too. I forgot which one it was, but it was a I think it was like success, something about success. And but we'll we'll link down below as well to that one. But it's it's uh, you know, surround yourself around like minded people, people that will support you, and not people that will bring you down. And again, it can be somebody that's a friend, family member or new friends or somebody that you meet online and, and another form or group, a Facebook group or something like that. Or maybe they also have a YouTube channel or something like that. And, and, and they're very like minded and you guys can network and and talk and or you can hire a coach or a mentor. You know, you can hire a coach or mentor pay them and learn from them. Or you can listen to a podcast or watch a podcast. You could watch people's videos like you're watching right now you're watching our video, our podcast or listening depending on what you're, you're how you're consuming this this episode, attend seminars, webinars, books, audio books, listen to music, with good energy and not depressing energy. I mean, this is this again goes to positive versus negative energies. You don't want to listen to a lot of negative music like music that that's constantly talking about, like I don't even know the lyrics to any of these anymore because I don't listen to them. But if it's like something about like, I'm dying inside, I can't find love and, and and I'm a piece of crap. And and I should just die. You know, don't listen to that man. Even as a nice beat. Listen to something else. Listen to something positive, inspiring. That makes you feel good. Okay, listen to that instead.
Tony
Yeah, cuz if you sing if you sing along with it, if you're singing along with it singing those lyrics, you're going to start to take on those those thoughts, aren't you? Yeah,
Dr. Dan
yeah, yeah, exactly. And the same thing goes with movies. So if you're watching a lot of like dramas, and and horror movies, right, where people are being murdered and die and I like a good slasher film here and there, especially if it's funny, and it's got like a you know, it's got like a fun kind of unique spin or, like I said, like, like those those new style whether they're, they're pretty funny and they're ridiculous. I mean, I love those kind of movies as well. But you want to limit that where you're not only watching those kind of movies, but definitely if it's like Rate drama, and there's no happy ending, or it's a straight murder, murder, murder murder, especially if you have challenges right now. And you're trying to get better there's you need to do a cleanse of this, you need to, like, stop watching those things for a while, like, you know, give yourself 40 days, at minimum, at least to to allow yourself to, to get a good cleaning, a good cleansing and to do all this positive stuff. And once you get stronger, then you can start implementing those things slowly, if you still desire to watch or listen to that kind of stuff. And it won't have the same big effect on you or Alicia will be able to be aware of if it does, and you'll have the tools to get past it. So that's definitely something that I recommend.
Tony
Yep, right. 100 100% on the on the way you mentioned about surrounding yourself with other people. One thing that definitely, there's two sides to that coin. And one is for example, when when, when you've got aspirations that the people that you kind of already surround yourself with, maybe they're not, maybe they're not going up, they're not leveling up at the same rate as you are and maybe in the same direction as you, they start saying things like, Oh, I wouldn't do that and all that. And that's just them trying to keep you safe. But also, they don't like that you're like a mirror, reflecting back to them that they're not growing or progressing. So, so that's one thing, but surrounding yourself with other people one of the real benefits for me because I'm in like, I'm in an accountability group. And we've all come from this large UK based coaching group type thing. And and we're all just married businessmen kind of that's the that's the kind of thing and and one of the things for me is that they'll talk about 1020 grand months, not a problem, whereas nobody else I was previously associating with would talk about that. But it's not just about money, they would talk about health and fitness. Like Like it's nothing one just casually said, Oh, I'm, I'm gonna set a world record for triathlons. And I was like, I'm sorry. Wait, what? So what here's what he did, he actually did this two days ago. He did Ian Lambert shout out in Lund Lambert, he did a 220 mile triathlon is actually 222. I'll tell you why in a second. It took him 29 and a half hours to do a seven mile swim, 150 mile bike ride, and 63 mile run. And actually, the seven mile swim, he actually did nine point something miles because he overshot the mark, and ended up doing two miles more, which is just absolutely insane. Now, when all your regular friends are old, sitting around, eating junk food and drinking beer and everything, and then you kind of not replace them but you you maybe spend less time with them and start associating more with those who break World Triathlon records, or who just casually say, oh, I've done this or I've signed up for tough mudder or I'm doing this thing over here. It kind of normalizes it for you. Whereas before I would have been like, holy cow. When he's done this, this triathlon thing. I kind of wasn't surprised. And that's what surprised me that I wasn't surprised. So leveling up your kind of group like that, like Dan said, the people you associate with and the people you associate to that's that's important content coming at you. And it's programming is all programming same as like, like Dan was saying about the movies, and the music and all that sort of thing. It's it's just so important. I think it's so under under appreciated kind of how important that is. And that's why that's why I think things like like watching content, like this is what I will choose. Over watching kind of like no, nonsense like reality TV, crapola? Because it's just, it's all it's all drama, and people arguing and stuff. It's not really not really quality food for your mind. Is it done?
Dr. Dan
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were actually talking about this. Not long ago. We're talking about the news. Right? You'd say like, I don't even watch the news. Well, yeah, I mean, either, right. I mean, news, negative entertainment while sitting right or while standing for a while. Yes. Si. Or sh i T, T. and G. Right.
Tony
Yeah. Well, I actually on the topic of the news, yeah. You well reminded I did make a note, one of my friends, Sam church, another guy from that group. He has a super successful business and he said, Here's I've copied and pasted from his Facebook status, overheard my parents watching the news this morning. All these word was spoken within a matter of 60 seconds, fearful, cautious implications and problems. And he so he put all those things in a Facebook post saying, Look, I've just heard this, you got to watch what you're putting in your brain and people just said, Oh, well, well, the people on the news said it. So it must be you know, they're, they're kind of taking it. That's why they call them TV programs. They're programming you, and and we'll get a bit woowoo there. But he, you know, he said, you've got to be careful what you're letting into your mind kind of under the guise of the experts, you know, telling you that, that this is how the world is no, there there media companies or entertainment companies. You know, they choose what to tell you and what not to tell you. So yeah, yeah. Mini rant over. Yeah, thanks for the reminder that I did.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, they, they, they, they need views, they need more. So they do clickbait you know, they, they, they make things crazier than they really are they, they don't tell you the whole truth. And it's, yeah, it's unfortunately, it's part it's part of their game. And, and it sucks, and you know, it's a lot harder today. Or I should say up cause myself, it's more challenging today, to be able to, to avoid all that negativity in the news because, and in the media, because back when I first learned this, and I was doing this myself, you know, in the early 2000s, or late 90s, mid 90s, somewhere around there. And first learning about doing this stuff and doing it myself. We just had to avoid the TV, because we didn't have we didn't have Facebook, we didn't have YouTube, right? I mean, today, you go on YouTube. And people are, you know, making videos, cause even the major news studios are making videos, as well. And they're putting in these short clips of all the negativity. And then people are making their own negative clips. And then you've got you know, you've got Facebook seems like people are constantly talking about all the negative stuff on there, too. So now, lately, why go into Facebook, I don't know about you, Tony. But for me, when I go on to Facebook, I don't even I don't even go on to my main feed anymore. When I go on my phone, I click in the middle button. Well, right now it's the middle button, which shows groups. So I have a feed of all the groups that I belong to, and I don't belong to any negative groups. So I just see a bunch of stuff about like either working out exercise, or podcasting, or videos or entrepreneurship, or, you know, healthy vegan recipes, or things like that. So those are the things that pop up for me, or, you know, creating memberships and courses, and, and all that kind of stuff. So I have nothing but positive stuff that I'm looking at, instead. And then if I choose to like Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get I'm gonna, I'm gonna go ahead and jump in the deep end and just see what's over there for a second. You know, I'm safe to go ahead and click right back.
Tony
Yeah, yeah, you brace yourself, brace yourself. First, on, on the desktop on Chrome is this extension called newsfeed Eradicator. So when I go to Facebook, on my desktop, like, Oh, I'm just gonna send this person a message, or I'm just gonna go to into one of our groups, you know, that I am the admin of, and I'll go in there. And if the first thing you hit is the news feed at Oh, so old, they've been doing this and they've been doing that I follow lots of positive people. But also, I'm friends with lots of weirdos like the rest of us. And then you end up down these rabbit holes of negativity and, and all kinds of weird stuff. And it's a time suck more than anything as well. So for me, newsfeed Eradicator, I just go there, and there's just nothing. There's the menu on the left, and there's just no newsfeed. So the top tip there for desktop, Facebook scrollers.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, I just avoid the desktop altogether, unless I unless I have to fix something or do something that won't let me do on the phone. But because of that, for sure, because it's even worse on there. And then I get like stuck doing other things and other stuff that I don't feel like doing. So I just choose not even go on Facebook on my desktop. But another thing too is self talk in candy, incantations positive match mantras. These are all things that you know, is pretty much what we've been talking about using positive questions. I like to call them mantras were things that you constantly say like this is a challenge, or versus like, this is a problem. And these are all positive. These are all things that yourself talking to yourself. So make it part of this mantra of these incantations where you just keep saying it over and over and over again, where it's positive, not negative. And always ask yourself that question. And if you have somebody that's supportive in your life that you're constantly talking to you whether it be a spouse, partner, friend, family member, that that you talk to mostly and and they're willing to do this as well as where you guys catch each other. They're doing this where it's like, okay, am I asking a positive or negative question? Right? So hold you hold each other accountable, accountable, have an accountability partner by doing that. And that'll be really powerful. If you don't, then just hold yourself accountable, ask yourself that question I have to do all the time myself. And I teach my kids this as well, like, right now I'm teaching my daughter how to drive. And we're just doing it in a parking lot. And we're driving around, and she was at first freaked out, and she still is kind of freaked out. And I just have her just like hitting the gas just a teeny bit, right? Just I'm on but less is better. When in doubt, press the brake. Don't press the gas harder. And, and one of the things that she'll do is she's driving she like, I don't want to hit that curb, I don't want hit that curb. And I'm like, look where your attention goes, your energy goes, or you're going to go. So do not say I don't want to hit that because that's what's gonna happen. So instead, say, you know, I'm good. I've got this, I'm awesome. I'm a great driver. So she's using positive reinforcement, given a positive mantra, given a positive incantation, versus and self talk versus the negative of, Oh, I don't want to hit this, or I'm afraid of this, or I don't like that car over there that looks like they're coming towards me. No, instead of saying that, well, I'll tell her say, hey, that's a negative. And she'll go, I love that car. I love that car like, well, it's not exactly what I mean. But it's, it's a nice shift. It's a lot better than the big improvement of what you said. And I know for my son as well. He's 12. And he's learning how to code right now. And he's like, constantly saying things like, or in the past, he said things like, Oh, it's difficult, it's hard. It's hard to learn how to do this, or I'll never be as good as so and so that other person or they're the best, and I can never be as good as them. And I'm like, that's, that's a negative Stop saying that. Who knows, maybe you will, maybe you won't, it doesn't really matter. Just be the best you can be right? Be positive. So instead, a positive thing is, you know, celebrating those small wins, like, Oh, I'm an awesome learner, I'm learning. I'm loving learning this, you know, enjoying learning learning this, I just learned how to do this one thing that I didn't know how to do before I learned this one piece of code, or how did you know I don't even know any anything coding about coding really myself. But I learned how to do this one thing with coding, and celebrate that because the more celebration you have for little or big wins. If you celebrate all your little wins as well, then the more the more little wins, you'll have and the and the lead the bigger wins as well. So you have to do that constantly. I'm doing that for myself, no matter how small the win is, even if it's just something learning. Like I'm doing a lot of tic toc stuff now, and I'm learning how to do things and tic Tock Well, of course, I don't have like a million followers right now on Tick tock, and I can beat myself up and be like, all this sucks. I only got, you know, 50 views on this one video. One stat. I'm like, wow, I got 50. That's 50 people that found my video that didn't know about my video before. That's 50 more people than I actually know, I don't know any of those 50 people, and now they know me. So I'm going to celebrate that when you know, Oh, that one has 2000 Oh, that one has 4000 wow, you know, awesome. Oh, this YouTube video got 20,000 you know, views now. So I'm gonna celebrate that win, you know, or this one got 100 views, I'm gonna celebrate that win, because those will lead to bigger wins. But could you imagine what would happen? If I just said, oh, there's only 50 views? You know, this sucks. I might as well just quit. Well, how am I ever going to get that 1000 4000 28,000 150,000 views, if you don't keep pushing forward and celebrating those little wins that lead to that big win. So if you don't do all those little steps, those little things and celebrate those that it will never lead to a big one.
Tony
Right? Yeah, definitely celebrating wins, I think is something that that's overlooked too often. And for me, that's that's where I mean, I've not come up with this myself. I've learned this from other people. But yeah, celebrating wins is where confidence comes from. So So kind of recognizing all those wins. Like, if anyone's like, Oh, I'm useless, or I'm no good at this or whatever. You say no, look at the progress you've made, you know, or like, oh, if you're useless, we'll look at all these wins from today. Look at these wins from the week from the month from the year, you've done all these things. And that kind of pulls away their excuses of, or their little story of, I'm useless. So if you're thinking that way, just celebrating your wins has that benefit as well. As well as lifting you up and and you start looking for the wins as well. That's one thing I found is I start writing them down during the day and I go, does that count as a winner that counts as a win? And then I'll write that one down. So yeah, for me, celebrating wins is such a good thing. And it doesn't have to be something you do on your own either like Gemma and I We'll always go you got to celebrate the wins, and we'll celebrate together and that can that can literally be celebrating. Like, like a Woohoo, kind of like jumping around kind of like yay, high five. Or it's like just recognizing and saying, Yeah, I did that. As as like we we've done a great episode today. I want to celebrate that win. Yeah, so did one thing I wanted to mention actually about celebrating the wins is when you write them down is is the process I follow that I learned is to say, Okay, what was good? Why was it good, which helps expand even more about it gives you radar going for other things? And then what can I do next to kind of keep the momentum going? And I really liked that. I really like that. Do you do anything like that? Yeah.
Dr. Dan
Yeah, I do. I do. I do a variation of a lot of different things. Sometimes I change it up, sometimes I stick to the same and we'll actually do a rockstar mission today, we're we're going to have everybody do the incitement themself. And we'll kind of run through that in a second. But we were off camera for a second, we were actually talking about a little something that I think we'll we'll mention, because you said it's kind of important that we talk about this. And I do think as well. One of the one of the challenges that I had with your Tippett with a lot of the life coaches and self development coaches and people out there, some very popular and famous and some of the biggest ones, actually, pretty much all the biggest ones out there, almost all the biggest ones out there. One of the challenges I had with them was they were always talking about like the whole kill the monster, right? Kill that part of you to to, you know, like when you have to, like, write down your wins and like, Oh, you know, like, when I'm feeling like a loser, I'm just gonna read all these things. And that's it, and it's gonna tell me why I'm not a loser. But the challenge is, is when you when you do something where you're like, oh, with this intent of almond overcome this permanently, and get rid of that, get rid of that negative self talk or get rid of, of that monster inside me, or that fraud factor, to where I'm never gonna have those kind of those kind of thoughts, again, or the negative thoughts. Again, it's, it's, it's not something that can be done because you're, you're trying to kill something that's part of you, and you can't, you can put it to sleep. And that's the good news. The good news is that you could put it to rest, you can give it a little nap time. And then when it when it wakes back up, you do the same thing again, you put it back to sleep, because you know a lot of these, you know, gurus out there, they talk about, you know, like self development gurus they talk about, you know, never having these challenges again, or never having these negative thoughts, which is total crap. It's not, it's not real, you can't you can't completely eliminate it, like, there's always going to be some kind of a challenge or some kind of thing that pops up. Because, you know, again, you're you're a human being right? And and you're living in this existence and living in this world, you're going to have challenges that come up. And that's what's going to allow you to grow. And if you're not growing, what happens, you're dying, because either you're growing or you're dying, and to say that you're never going to have anything that's going to force you to grow, is saying that you might as well just die. And you know, I don't I don't like that. So for me, it's and that's why I was like really, really drawn to to guru Singh, who I met through Tony Robbins. Tony Rob is actually one of Tony Robbins mentors is guru Singh. And, and, and I met him through Tony and Tony introduced me to him. And I was just like, really, really just drawn to because I realized early on that there was this struggle inside me that I was never going to be able to fully conquer. And I'm like, there's got to be more to this to where it's like you're just trying to overcome it fully. And just solve it forever. Because I see people that have been working on these things for years and years and years. And they weren't able to completely eliminate it themselves. And that's not promises you're gonna eliminate, or you're gonna get rid of it. You know, that's usually the clickbait get rid of limiting beliefs forever, get rid of these negative thoughts forever. And no, that's that's not possible. And that's not a negative thing. Because again, that's a good thing. Because if you got rid of it, that would mean that you're never going to grow. Because you've grown as much as you're going to grow and now you're just stuck, you're stuck in this one spot, you're never going to grow past that. And that would really suck. So you don't want to throw you don't want to strive for not having to grow anymore. Instead, you want to look for opportunities to grow, you want to continue to grow, you want to look for challenges, and you want to continue growing yourself. So I don't recommend you look for the solution of 1am I going to overcome this completely because again, that's a negative question. Like, if you look at your wins, you're like yeah, but I got this win, but I still have this chapter When am I going to overcome all these challenges? Don't talk like that. Because again, that's a negative talk. And that's not something you want to strive for as well. Because again, you want to continue growing, you don't want to die, you want to keep growing. So you want to you want to look for opportunities to grow instead. That's what I recommend. Definitely,
Tony
definitely.
So kind of Yeah, wrapping up today's session, which has been a real buffet a smorgasbord of, of loads of stuff all about you yourself, talk and putting the putting the monster to sleep for naps and things. And what what we're going to wrap up with for the, for the kind of the Rockstar mission for the, for the ladies and gents who are watching today? Well, I'm glad you asked.
Because, you know, how can you use this in your life? Well, your Rockstar mission today, if you choose to accept and commit to it fully, is to go to RockStarInLife.com/35 And print out your Rockstar mission for today. So again, that's RockStarInLife.com/35, we'll put the link down at the bottom. If you are listening to this episode, or watching it somewhere that doesn't have links or anything like that, then just head on over to RockStarInLife.com/35 And that's a three and a five. And you can print out the mission. But to get started. First off, I want you to grab a pen, grab a journal or grab whatever you're going to write it down and right now. And your mission is you're going to do this before bedtime. Every night before bed, I want you to write down a few magic moments that you had today. Okay, these are your wins, right? These are celebrating your wins. So your top wins magic moments today, I want it to be a minimum of five. Okay, so somewhere between three and five is the very least that you need to do. And you can find them no matter how small or how big they are. Even if it's like I had a realization I caught myself saying I always struggle with. And instead I said, this is the challenge I'm going to overcome. That is a win, whether or not you are trying to make money online. And you sold one product and you made $1 today, or he made $2 today, that is a win. Whether you uploaded a video on YouTube or tik tok or Instagram or somewhere and you got two views or three views or even one view, it's still a win, right? It doesn't matter. So whatever it is, you know, write down your magic moments. And again, this is your personal professional health business, it doesn't matter, right? write them all down, write a variety of a few, you know, like you got a good compliment today, you complimented somebody today, you know, you got a hug from your kid, your kid told you, they loved you, you told your kids you love them, you know, you gave them a hug and a kiss, it was so beautiful you saw they're there, they drew a picture for you today, or they drew a picture and they're getting better. You know, whatever it is write something down, you know that you met somebody new in your life today that that excited you, you know that that you spoke to your mom or your dad or a friend or family member or somebody like that, or you got a compliment online it again, it does not matter. Whatever it is, however small or big it is right three to five, the top things, your magic moments, your top wins, you know, go ahead and just write them down and also write down Why was it great? You know, why was it why what made it magical, you know, it doesn't have to be anything super long, it'd be a couple sentences, or it could be longer if you want. You know, this is one of those things where if you're over achiever, more is better. Sure, go ahead. I'm not saying that you have to make it long. But you can if you want, or you can make it short, if you want, just write a couple things down, that's gonna be the first thing you can do. Again, three to five things, magic moments, your top wins today, three to five total, combine them together doesn't matter or more.
doesn't come true because what if it does? What if it does? If you ask yourself, What if it doesn't come true? Well, what if it does come true? How awesome is that. And you know what, if it doesn't come to you tomorrow, well write it down again tomorrow, and the next day and the next day and the next day and keep writing it down as long as you want that to happen. So write it down, open up that book, and grab that piece of paper, or the printed out from from from RockStarInLife.com/35 And write down, one of the things is going to be three to five or more, if you want to have what's going to be amazing and magical about tomorrow. Okay, so write those down. Those are your two things that you're going to do to answer those two questions every single night before bed.
Dr. Dan
You're going to do this for the next 40 days, do it for 40 days in a row every single day super important that you commit for the next 40 days to do do not miss a day, even if you just got to write down one or two or three simple things, one sentence, a bullet, a bullet point or something like that, that is fine. Do not miss a day, if you miss a day, then just start the clock over and do another 40 days in a row. Because I want you to do in 40 days in a row. Because it's super important, it makes it part of you. It makes it part of your DNA when you do something 40 days in a row, and you don't miss any days. So it's very important to make it consecutive. If you miss a day, like I said, let's say you do 20 days, and then you miss a day, well, no big deal to start out, start that clock over, go from day one. Now, day one, go to day 40. And you know, it's not a bad thing, it's not a big deal, it's not a bad thing, you just get opportunity to do more often. Because I predict that just doing this after like five or 10 days, maybe it after the first day, it's going to feel pretty awesome doing this, you're going to experience some things, you're going to see some things that you didn't, you didn't notice at first, because you're gonna be like, Whoa, I didn't realize I'm doing all these awesome things, I didn't realize I have all these wins, I didn't realize I was doing that. So you're going to be shining a light on that. And it's going to feel really, really good. So maybe after the first day or after the third day, or fourth day or 10th day, you're just gonna be like, man, I want to do this more off, I'm gonna do this for the next 100 days, I'm gonna do this for the next year, I'm gonna use the next two years. And that's totally fine. But like I said, commit for the next 40 days in a row. And if you miss a day, start the clock over go 40 days in a row. And that's your Rockstar mission for today. Everything you want to add, Tony,
Tony
I think I think that is a great a great Rockstar mission for each and every one of you watching to do now here's the thing, if you are watching on YouTube, or somewhere where you can leave comments, and we want to hear in the comments, we want you to join in the conversation with this warning here. What's your biggest takeaway? What's your biggest aha from today's session, if you're listening, or maybe driving or something like that, and listening, hopefully not watching, driving and listening. But maybe if you're listening on Spotify, or another podcasting platform, come on over to YouTube, we've got we have cookies and snacks here, come on over to YouTube and find us rock star in life and put those comments down below. Also, while you're over here on YouTube, why not click that subscribe button and ring that bell the notification bell so that you know when we release our next episodes, which is currently weekly, isn't it and we do all sorts of little clips and whatnot as well. So very, very excited, very excited to see and to hear the results that everyone gets from doing these these Rockstar missions, which are I think they're great. I don't know is there any other shows like this that give missions like that to do I haven't seen any have you done?
Dr. Dan
No, I mean I i don't know i mean usually you have to buy a course or or or attend a seminar or something like that to get this kind of stuff and this is stuff that I used to do my in my past you know fun shops I just call them fun shops to workshops, live ones and on my course I actually had a course that I that I released many many years ago. Yeah, and it was part of a paid course. So now we're just doing this you know for free. This is my way of giving back and putting out positive energy out there so I can get more of that back myself.
Tony
Pay it forward. Amazing. And Whoa, what you put out you get back tenfold then you so happy days happy days. Okay, well, I tell you what, that's that's all I've got to bring to the conversation for today. So I'm gonna step out and say don't stop believin
Dr. Dan
Alright everybody, don't forget to be rock star your life make the world your stage.
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